In last week's episode: Looking to score big at the track? Want a hot stock tip? Avoid the Commish like the plague. While going 3-1 picking winners, I bombed vs. the spread, going 0-4. Of course, who could have predicted a 'Hawks-'Bird2 matchup in which three league records were set: most points by a player in one week (Portis, 58), lowest point total for a team (T-Buzzard, 4) and biggest blowout (99 points)? Or that someone named Brock Forsey would actually find his way into a playoff team's lineup? Or that the NFFC's 1-4 match would go to a tie-breaker? Or that the 'Yotes would leave Vick on their bench? (Not that it would have mattered). The oddsmakers have set the spreads a lot closer this time around, but the Commish is thinking he should try his hand at the Over/Under instead.

	AFFC: (2) BERSERKERS (8-5, 868 points) at (1) JAYHAWKS (11-2, 982 points)
		The Storyline: Kev takes his best-ever team into "The Nest" (not to be confused with "The Nest2") in Clayton, N.C., to fight the 'Hawks in the AFFC championship. All-Time Head-2-Head Results: The 'Hawks own a 5-2 advantage, but the teams split during 2003 -- the 'Zerks won a Week 5 snoozer 43-29, and the Jayhawks got revenge in Week 11, 55-42. Postseason History: The two teams have never met in the postseason. The Berserkers are trying to reach their first Tech Bowl; the Jayhawks have been three times and lost three times. The Line: Jayhawks by 8
	Starters	Who Has the Advantage?	Starters
QB	Brady	Push ... Brady laid a nice big goose egg in Kev's opening round win, but that's Brady. He either comes up big or gets a zero. Speaking of zeroes, everyone except the Commish was calling for Bulger's head a few weeks back. This week the Rams get the Seahawks at home on turf in what promises to be a shootout, which likely means the final score will be 13-7.	Bulger
RB1	Tomlinson	Push ... Sure, it's hard not to pick someone coming off a 58-point outing, but LT2 is no slouch and racked up a mere 30 points last Sunday. Plus that lightning bolt on his helmet scares the other guys.	Portis
RB2	Barber	Jayhawks ... No one makes Chris Berman scream "FUMBLE!" as much as Tiki. It's so bad the Giants' goner of a coach has resorted to putting Dorsey "I Haven't Been Good Since Season 4" Levens in at the goal line. Deuce has managed to make the Aint's decent in spite of Aaron Brooks.	McAllister
WR1	S. Moss	Push ... Moss has had an unbelievable season but hasn't done anything in a couple of weeks. Harrison is, of course, Mr. Consistency. And how about that one-handed grab Sunday?	Harrison
WR2	H. Ward	Push ... What is it that would possess a parent to name their child Hines? Maybe Keyshawn will show up to cheer on his cousin Chad on Sunday, since he's got nothing better to do.	C. Johnson
WC	Mason or Booker	Jayhawks ... I didn't think I'd be saying this after zero points in seven starts earlier this season, but Booker may actually be worth playing! Davis has been looking sluggish recently but does face the Cardinals this week.	S. Davis or Westbrook or K. Robinson
TE	Gonzalez	Berserkers ... The scoreless streak continues for Alge Crumpler, who has now gone 10 straight weeks without scoring. I think I'm leaving him in my lineup just to show how worthless North Carolina products really are.	Crumpler
K	Janikowski or Cundiff	Jayhawks ... Will someone please deport or imprison Seabass? Jano only got one last week, but we see 5 to 10 in his future.	Longwell or Stover
D	Patriots	Berserkers ... If Bill Belichick isn't Coach of the Year someone had better check and make sure the BCS isn't in charge of picking such awards.	Chiefs or Jaguars
	Prediction: So, did Portis get scoring touchdowns out of his system Sunday? With the Browns up next, the Commish thinks not! Which will make for an interesting TV battle in the Ring household this Sunday, as Broncos diehard Amanda cheers on Clinton into the end zone and Kev fights the urge to watch "Clerks" for the 761st time. The 'Zerks won't go quietly, however, as the on-again, off-again saga that is Tom Brady is due for a big one. And do you really think the Steelers' secondary can cover Santana Moss? Fortunately for the 'Hawks, the Cardinals are just what the doctor ordered for Stephen Davis, and Bulger finds comfort in St. Louis' cozy dome. Jayhawks win, but in a squeaker.

	NFFC: (2) HEELBILLYS (7-6, 835 points) at (1) GAMBLERS (11-2, 914 points)
		The Storyline: Wayne becomes the second straight News & Observer employee to try to knock off the Gamblers at "Dave's Casino and Resort" (where the quarter slots pay off in free agents). All-Time Head-2-Head Results: The Gamblers dominate the all-time series 5-1 and swept the '03 meetings, winning Week 1 and 7 matchups 60-57 and 76-58, respectively. Postseason History: Never met. Heelbillys are gunning for their first Tech Bowl appearance, while the Gamblers reached but lost the '01 Tech Bowl. The Line: Gamblers by 5 1/2
	Starters	Who Has the Advantage?	Starters
QB	Culpepper	Heelbillys ... Lots of Georgia Tech connections here: Culpepper threw a long TD to ex-Jacket WR Kelly Campbell last Sunday. Vikings defensive coordinator and former Tech coach (or so it says on his resume) George O'Leary is the new head coach at Central Florida, Culpepper's alma mater. And, of course, the Gamblers' owner/GM/coach graduated from Tech.	McNair or Favre or Kitna
RB1	Holmes	Heelbillys ... Priest is the top running back in all the land and has registered double-digit point totals in nine of his 13 starts. Shaun ain't bad but hasn't had a multiple-TD game since Week 7.	S. Alexander
RB2	Dillon or A. Thomas	Gamblers ... Hot (hot) adj. 1. having or giving off heat: The fire is hot. 2. Edgerrin James in his last four starts: Edge has 62 points in his last four starts after scoring only 15 in his first seven.	E. James
WR1	L. Coles	Gamblers ... This matchup of former ACC stallwarts isn't much of a contest. Torry is having one of the greatest seasons ever for a wide receiver, and a pretty good one fantasy-wise. Coles has Tim Hasselbeck throwing to him.	Holt
WR2	J. Smith or R. Smith	Push ... Jimmy Smith has been his old self lately. This could be a matchup of former Jacksonville teammates (J. Smith vs. McCardell).	Horn or D. Jackson or McCardell
WC	A. Thomas or R. Smith	Push ... Ankle injuries (Davis), hip pointers (McCardell), respiratory illnesses (A-Train) ... Sounds like a medical ward in here.	D. Davis or D. Jackson or McCardell
TE	Franks	Push ... Boo! You've got your mojo working if you can grab a tight end off the free agent wire and he gets 10 points for you in his first start.	D. Graham or B. Williams
K	Elam or Mare	Gamblers ... Note to self: Draft Tony Dungy's kicker and you'll be a happy man!	Vanderjagt
D	Dolphins or Cowboys	Push ... Someone would have to pay me to analyze this matchup.	Panthers or 49ers
	Prediction: Methinks the Gamblers were caught sleeping in last Sunday's matchup with Springfield Isotopes! The NFFC's No. 1 seed barely escaped, having to resort to the tie-breaker to advance. David had better whip out his best pregame speech, because the 'Billys have Priest going against the Lions' defense! Might Portis' new record last only one week? Nah ... David is going to hate to hear this considering the Commish's track record for picks, but the Gamblers will win this one and win by double digits. Heelbillys may have looked like a Roy Williams-coached bunch last week, but Matt Doherty look will return. The Bears are back, baby, and will shut down Culpepper on the frozen tundra that is Soldier Field. And outside of Culpepper and Holmes, the 'Billys don't have much.