With all systems go for a "fantasy" season for Wolfpack football, we here at the Commissioner's Office thought it would be a good idea to see how State's stars fared as TFFLers. So all season we'll keep track of how many fantasy points Philip Rivers, T.A. McLendon, Jerricho Cotchery and Co. put on the board, just for shits and giggles.

* - Sacks not included

GEORGIA TECH: .500! UGH
Result: Tech 29, State 21
Well folks, I'm officially retiring the writing portion of this column. I'm not giving up on the 'Pack having a good season, and I'll still add up their weekly fantasy points, but this ceased to be fun a few weeks ago. Keep checking back, and go 'Pack!

THIS WEEK'S PROSPECTS:
Opponent: Georgia Tech
When, Where: Saturday, Oct. 4, noon, Atlanta
The Commish was 14 the last time N.C. State won a football game at Georgia Tech. Naz Worthen and Ray Agnew were our big stars, and Dick Sheridan was our coach. That's almost as long as we've gone without an ACC hoops title. It's time to sink this streak to the darkest pits of hell, Chuck. If we don't, this is just another team that can't win a road game.

NORTH CAROLINA: YES!!!
Result: Chuck's children 47, Bunting's douche bags 34
OK, so we don't have a defense. And no matter the records, it's always a great feeling to hammer the Heels.

THIS WEEK'S PROSPECTS:
Opponent: North Carolina
When, Where: Saturday, Sept. 27, 2 p.m., Carter-Finley Stadium
So we can't win a national title or an ACC title. We should still be able to beat the crap out of UNC! Nevertheless, the Holes are catching us at a bad time, with T.A. banged up (um, when isn't T.A. banged up?) and Richard Washington suspended for being a dumbass. State may need all the help it can muster, as coach John Bunting (a.k.a. The Walrus) is planning a rousing pregame ceremony for the boys in baby blue in which he castrates Ramses XVIIII with his teeth. (If you're a sheep's relative hanging out in Chapel Hill, something bad is eventually going to happen to you, right?)

TEXAS TECH: IT'S A TEXAS-SIZED BLOWOUT
Result: 'Pack 49, Red Raiders 21
Ah, didn't that feel good? A win's a win, even if it is against a Big 12 paperweight -- and their quarterback throws for 586 yards. Now that we've pulled our overall record to .500, it's time to do the same in the ACC. Bring on the Tar Holes!

THIS WEEK'S PROSPECTS:
Opponent: Texas Tech
When, Where: Saturday, Sept. 20, noon, Carter-Finley Stadium
Last season, it took five T.A. TDs and an overtime to subdue the Techsters, 51-48. I'd settle for a 3-0 win in regulation this season.

OHIO STATE: REMEMBER THE TITANS?
Result: Bad State 44, Good State 38 (3 OT)
The 'Pack showed a lot of heart in a great comeback, but came up short by a foot. Despite some suspect play calling on our last series in overtime, you've got to be proud of the Wolfies for making a hell of a game of it after trailing 24-7 in the fourth. Still, a 1-2 record with zero wins over Division I-A foes hurts.

THIS WEEK'S PROSPECTS:
Opponent: Ohio State
When, Where: Saturday, Sept. 13, noon, Columbus, Ohio
This was supposed to be the game that catapulted the Wolfied into national title contention. That was before the Wake-up call from hell. Now, only questions remain: Can State run the ball without T.A. (who seems to be hurt as often as Fraud Taylor)? Can the defensive line get pressure on anybody? If we actually win, is Raleigh going to throw 15 more parades for the 'Pack like they did when we won the Gator Bowl?

WAKE FOREST: DREAM SEASON, MY FOOT
Result: Deacs 34, Wolfies 24
Was this a Chuck Amato team, or a Mike O'Cain club? Wake dictated the game, and State played right into what Jim Grobe wanted them to do. One thing is for sure: There will be no more potential stud predictions from TFFL. After the defense got shut out against Western, T.A. didn't even suit up for Wake. If that's not a jinx, I don't know what is.

THIS WEEK'S PROSPECTS:
Opponent: Wake Forest
When, Where: Saturday, Sept. 6, noon, Winston-Salem
Those who thought the Deacs were due for a fall this season are thinking again. Cory Randolph, Willie Idlette, Cornelius Birgs, Chris Davis ... not exactly preseason All-ACC names, but they went to BC and came away a winner. Despite the likelihood of a physical war in the trenches, our beloved Wolfies should be able to put four scores on the board and come home 2-0, if just barely. Let's hope the Commish's picks don't come away with a goose egg for the second week in a row, because we're expecting this week's potential stud T.A. McLendon to put up two of those TDs.

WESTERN CAROLINA: IT WAS A HALL OF A SHOW
Result: Big Bad Wolfies 59, 'Mounts 20
Tramain Hall was worth the wait! State's rookie receiver/tailback has j-e-t-s jets jets jets, and he showed 'em off Saturday night en route to a would-be 22 TFFL points. Then again, Cupcake Carolina was good fantasy-wise for just about everyone who got into the game, except the Commish's predicted stud: the State defense, which got no sacks, no interceptions, no fumble recoveries, no scores, and definitely no shutout! But who really cares, we're 1-0, and that's more than the Tar Holes, Terps, Jackets, Tigers and Dookies can say.

THIS WEEK'S PROSPECTS:
Opponent: Western Carolina
When, Where: Saturday, Aug. 30, 6 p.m., Carter-Finley Stadium
Well, well, well. Is that the Catamounts, or the Cupcakes? While they're not the Purple People Eaters, the 'Mounts have a coach with some solid lineage: It's former Wolfie co-defensive coordinator Kent Briggs! With that in mind, the going could be a little rough for the 'Pack offense. Western supposedly has a good pass rush with three nice defensive ends, including one preseason All-America! (Um, why don't we have one of those?) ... Even if State puts points on the board early, you'd think the backups would get some time, thereby limiting the Wolfie offense's fantasy points potential. So this week's potential stud is the defense, which had better wreak some havoc on these pussy cats, if we've got any shot at a national title.