AFFC No. 1 THE JAYHAWKS (1,120 points, 10-3 record) vs. AFFC No. 3 THE BOTTLEROCKETS (794 points, 5-8 record) at "The Nest" (where the 'Hawks never lay an egg)

FOR STARTERS ...	HOW THE JAYHAWKS CAN WIN	HOW THE BOTTLEROCKETS CAN WIN	PREDICTION
Head-2-Head: It's been all Jayhawks so far: 92-47 way back in Week 1, and 95-45 in Week 6. In all-time meetings, the 'Rocks have won just twice in 11 tries. ... Playoff History: Both of those wins, however, came in the playoffs. 2001 was the first season these two didn't meet in the playoffs since the 'Rocks came into being. The Jayhawks won first-round battles in both 1997 and 1999, 48-32 and 77-50, respectively. The Bottlerockets took the Tech Bowl in 1998, 73-50, and won a second-round matchup in 2000, 95-76. The Line: Jayhawks by 23	The 'Hawks play ball the old-fashioned way: seven yards and a cloud of dust. Running at Denver should be a test for Priest (not that it bothered him much in Week 7), but Deuce is looking at the Vikings defense in the same way Madden eyes a turducken. If the running game can't get going, there's always Jeff Garcia, who has been coming on strong since the 49er RBs started dropping like ghosts of Fred Taylor past. And after profuse apologies from the Commish for his undue benching last week, Lav Coles has agreed to return to the lineup in place of that worthless piece of crap James Stewart.	Having rid themselves of the abyss known as Anthony Thomas, the 'Rocks were able to knock off the Weathermen despite a big fat goose egg from Marshall Faulk. Now, of course, the question becomes will Faulk play vs. the Cardinals, whose defense has fallen apart like Michael Jackson's nose (where did that thing go, anyway?) Should Faulk not be able to carry the load, Batcho is going to need Brett Favre to throw lots of touchdowns to guys not named Donald Driver. Other than Peerless Price vs. the San Diego secondary, the matchups do not look all that inviting.	Two TFFL certainties: Kevin Ring submitting a keeper league proposal each season, and Priest Holmes producing double-digit point totals each week. Broncos schmoncos, they can't stop Priest. Stablemate Deuce won't disappoint either, and before the final whistle Sunday Mike Tice will probably break that pencil he keeps tucked behind his ear. With the Rams having nothing to play for, Faulk won't put himself out on a limb just to help out the 'Rocks (although Ron could rip off one of Marshall's limbs if he doesn't). Whatever Faulk does, without or without his limbs, won't be enough. The 'Hawks will cover the spread and cement a third Tech Bowl appearance.

NFFC No. 3 WILE E. COYOTES (830 points, 7-6 record) vs. NFFC No. 4 HEELBILLYS (791 points, 5-7-1 record) at Coyote-Finley Stadium in Garner

FOR STARTERS ...	HOW WILE E. COYOTES CAN WIN	HOW HEELBILLYS CAN WIN	PREDICTION
Head-2-Head: The 'Yotes own a 2-1-1 all-time advantage, but they split this season, with the Wiley one taking a Week 9 battle 65-42, and the 'Billys winning the Week 12 rematch, 54-35. Playoff History: They've never met in the postseason, and this is the first time either team has survived the first round. The Line: Wile E. Coyotes by 2 1/2	Billo is like Marty Schottenheimer in that he'll go as far as LaDainian Tomlinson takes him. Sunday it takes him to Buffalo, and that's a good thing for a running back. Eddie George used to be a good thing, now he's only decent. Perhaps the sight of a Heisman presentation will rekindle some past glories.	Auto Commish draft pick Tom Brady has turned out to be a pretty good thing for the 'Billys, but he has this every-other-week thing going. Week 14 was nice. Is it time for another zero-TD performance? Of course, if there's ever been a sign that luck is on someone's side, Fred Taylor has been healthy all season. No ankle sprains, groin tears or Tom Coughlin tirades have brought him down yet.	Who would have ever thought these two would be meeting for a chance to go to the Tech Bowl. Whatever. Both teams look evenly matched, though, so instead of flipping a coin to predict a winner, we'll go with the Pack man and pick the 'Yotes. Seriously, which would you take: Chuck 'em (as in Amato) or Chunk 'em (a.k.a. John "I am the Walrus" Bunting)? Advantage: Wolfies.

THE OBITUARIES