We're at the midway point of the TFFL season, and it's time to wax nostalgic about the first eight weeks.
Most popular worthless player: Michael Bennett -- Weathermen/T-Bird2/Jellypop Fighters. After being taken in the fourth round by Bubba, Bennett began the first two weeks on the Weathermen's starting lineup. Two goose eggs later, and he was packed off to the Siberia that has become T-Bird2, where he languished on the bench for five weeks without even cracking the starting lineup. The Great One then cut Bennett prior to Week 8 to make room for the immortal (or is that immoral?) Frank Wychek. The Fighters promptly picked up Bennett, inserted him in the starting lineup and watched him rack up more than 130 yards of total offense against the real-life Bad News Bears. He would have traded them all for a 1-yard touchdown plunge, but that honor went to Moe Williams. Still, it only took eight weeks for Bennett to rack up his first TFFL points of the season. Let's see, eight weeks, three points. Hmmm. That's one more point than the Tar Heels have wins in eight weeks!
Highest picked healthy scratch: Kurt Warner, 3rd overall pick. In Week 3, two weeks before Kurt's thumb knocked him out, Heelbilly Wayne McPooters scratched Warner in favor of Super Bowl stud Tom Brady. It was a great move by Wayne as Brady racked up 29 points while Warner would have only scored three points. But it was a harbinger of bad things to come for the Hellbillys. It's just been that kind of year for the lone UNC fan in the mix. At least Wayne hasn't followed John Bunting's lead and blamed everybody but himself for his team's slow start. Wah, the refs screwed us! Wah, Chuck Amato stole our top recruit! Wah, those dastardly Deacons were chop blocking! (Actually John, it was just your team playing like chopped liver, but I can see where you would be confused).
Honorable mention: The Killers benched Shaun Alexander, the fifth overall pick, in Week 3 after he racked up 73 yards and no touchdowns on the ground in his first two outings. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he had Alexander back in the lineup for Week 4, when he exploded for a TFFL-record 52 points. That would have been a tough one to live down, almost as tough as getting shut out in football by the Demon Deacons. But that could never happen, could it?
10th Man Award (best non-starter): James Stewart, Jellypop Fighters. In two starts for the Fighters, Stewart has "acted" more like Marshall Faulk than a journeyman tailback. He has racked up 15 and 9 points in his two outings. In four of his other five outings while sitting on the Fighters' bench, he was scoreless. He's back in the lineup for Week 9 with Clinton Portis off. Watch out world!
Don't ever cut a Pack player: The Wile E. Coyotes cut former Pack WR Koren Robinson prior to Week 7. Robinson promptly racked up 175 yards on three receptions, including a long TD catch. It would have been worth 17 points to Billo. Instead, it cost him a quarter to pick up Brian Finneran. Aye, the luck of the Irish wasn't with Billo that week.
Golden Sombrero Award: Darrell Jackson, Carolina Killers. Jackson has made five starts and has yet to score. Steve should not have violated one of Bubba's oft-quoted commandments, "Thou shalt not draft Florida receivers."
The Bye Bye Blacksheep Award: Jellypop Fighters. In Week 6, McGee faced the Weathermen, who were without stalwarts Donovan McNabb and James Thrash. Backups Tommy Maddox (He Hate Me's old QB) and Brandon Stokley combined for four points. In Week 7 he faced the Wile E. Coyotes, who were without Eddie George, Amani Toomer and Ike Hilliard. Backups Thomas Jones, Brian Finneran and Joey Galloway combined for zero points. In Week 8, he faced the Bottlerockets, who were without Marshall Faulk and Brett Favre (who lost his last collegiate game to N.C. State). Replacements Warrick Dunn and Chad Pennington combined for 23 points. It's no wonder the Fighters have won four straight and climbed from last place to fourth. McGee appears to have taken scheduling lessons from Chuck Amato! In Week 9, he gets to face the Gamblers without Aaron Brooks.
K-Mart Blue Light Special(s): Nobody could have seen this one coming, but the top two picks in the fourth round -- quarterbacks Aaron Brooks and Rich Gannon -- ranked 2nd and 4th in the league in scoring through Week 8. Didn't Brooks suck while he was at Virginia? And wasn't Jon Gruden supposed to be the mastermind of the Raiders' offense? Two more fourth-rounders, Travis Henry of the Berserkers and Deuce McAllister of the Jayhawks, also rank in the top 10. Henry was taken four spots below Michael Bennett. In fact, the 10 fourth-round picks have nearly outscored their 10 first-round counterparts, trailing only 626-601. Drew Bledsoe lasted until the 9th round. Despite not starting the first three weeks, he ranks 15th in scoring.
Another nine weeks to go, and there remains but one pressing question: Which will come first? Another UNC win or another Jayhawks loss?