 | No. 1 Jellypop Fighters 942 points 8-5-0 record |
| No. 2 Gamblers 1,012 points 9-4-0 record |  |
| vs. |
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Locale: The Playpen, replete with mobiles hanging from the retractable roof and padding on all four walls.
Head-2-head: So, just how tough is it to beat a team three times in a season? The Gambler won Week 5 and 11 matchups 47-36 and 68-31, respectively.
Postseason history: These two rags-to-riches franchises have never met in the playoffs. Prior to this season, both teams had visited postseason fantasy-land once before and been dismissed in the first round. So no matter who wins, TFFL will have a first-time Tech Bowl champion in 2001.
The line: Gamblers by 5.
How Jellypop Fighters can win: By being Eagle-eyed and Ram tough. Marshall Faulk scores more than John Holmes (well, before he died) and Torry Holt is the self-proclaimed "Big Game" king. Throw in the ambiguously combustible Philly duo of Donovan "Chunky like the soup" McNabb and James "my last name's so cool I don't need a nickname" Thrash, and the Poppers will leave Dave smelling like a dirty diaper.
How Gamblers can win: One big name and a bunch of no-names. We all know what Brett Favre can do, at least when he's playing for one of the STD boys (Steve, Tim or Dave). But Dave is in the title game thanks to incendiary performances from the likes of Dominic Rhodes, Trung Canidate, Stacey Mack, Hines Ward, Joe Horn and Jay Feely. Who the hell are these guys? No clue, but they've kicked my @$$ this year, so I ain't one to talk smack about them.
Prediction: No. 1 vs. No. 2 -- this is what it's all about. Unless, of course, you got robbed by some coackamaney tiebreaking rule in the first round of the playoffs. But I digress. I'm a big believer in history, and Dave's dominated recent history, winning both matchups with Jelly this year and outscoring the Unskinny Pops 218-146 over the past three weeks. Besides, when betting money is involved, you always go with the professional. Gamblers 65, Jellypop Fighters 58.
What's next for the victor: Money, power, sex, drugs, a trip to Disneyworld -- none of which will be provided by TFFL.