A Phone Convo With Joey
After a night of partying with Joey at a local club, I got his number, and left. I decided to call
him a few nights later to see what he was up to and if
he wanted to go out sometime.
Lance: Hello?
Jen: Uh, hi, is Joey there?
In the background: Who is it Lance?
Lance covers the phone.
Lance: I don't know, hold on a
minute.
He uncovers it.
Lance: Umm, who is this?
Jen: My name is Jennifer, I'm calling for Joey.
Lance: How did you get this number?
Jen: Joey gave it to me last night.
Lance: Well, Joey is not available at the moment.
*In Background*
JC: LANCE!! Who is it??
Lance: Someone named Jennifer
JC: How many times have I told you about the
fans Lance?! Huh!?!? If it's a fan you hang up the
phone!!!
Lance: No!! JC! I'm sorry, please don't! NO!!!
The phone
drops and whipping noises followed by crying are heard. The phone is
picked up.
Justin: Yo.
Jen: Uh, can I talk to Joey please?
Justin: Yo baby, Joey ain't able to talk right know.
He be in da bafroom throwin' up.
Jen: Is he sick?
Justin: Nah, he drank too much.
*In Background*
JC: LANCE!! You spilled my beer!! God damn
you!!!
More whipping is heard, then a scream.
Lance: JC! God help
me..Please stop!! Owww....it hurts!!
Banging and
glass shattering.
JC: SHUT UP!! I'll whip you again!!
Jen: Uh, is everything okay over there?
Justin: Yeah, it's all good. So, you hot?
Jen: Um, some people think so.
Justin: Wanna go out?
Jen: Look, Justin, I need to talk to Joey. Is he out
yet?
Banging and crashing noises.
Justin: Hold on baby...Joey!! Damn you! Your fat ass
broke the door!! Someone's on da phone for you!
Crashing.
Joey: Yello?
Jen: Hi Joey!
Joey: WHo the hell is this?!
Jen: Jennifer! Don't you remember me?
Joey: Come on! I meet millions of Jennifer's every
day! Be more pacific!!
Jen: Uh, okay. I'm about 5'5, 120 lbs, brown hair to my
shoulders, brown eyes...
Joey: Oh yeah! We was at that club, and you saw me,
and you were like, "Oh my God!" And was like, "Hey baby
wassssup?" and you were like, "You're Joey from NSync!" And
I'm like, "Yup" and you're like, "Oh my God! And I'm like,
"Wanna dance?" and you were like, "Yeah!" So we danced and
when we were done I said, "You wanna drink?" and you said,
"Yeah" so we went to the bar and I bought you a vodka
(lol...) and you got all drunk and then we danced some
more and--
Jen: YES!! That's me Joey...
Joey: So wassup?
Jen: Nuthin' much, I was just wondering *crashes*--
JC: That is it!!!! Lance! You better run you worthless
piece of shit!!
*Whipping noises*
Joey: Hold on...
*In Background*
Lance: Please...JC!! NO!! I didn't mean it!! I swear!!
*whipping* Owww! Stop please!!
JC: WHAT DID I TELL YOU???????? *whipping*
Joey: Knock it off JC!!
JC: You stay out of this Joey! This has nothing to do
with you!!
*Glass shattering*
Joey: I said STOP!!
JC: Joey! Put the glass down!
Joey: Stop beating Lance!!
JC: If he would just listen--
Joey: No! JC! You hit him with that whip one more
time, I am going to kill you!
JC: Fine...
Joey gets back on the phone.
Joey: Hey baby, I'm back. So what
did you wanna ask me?
Jen: Should I call you back later or something?
Joey: Nah, it's fine.
Jen: Okay, I wanted to ask you--*banging crashing*
JC: That's it! You're GONNA DIE!!! *whipping noises*
Lance: JC! Noo! I'm sorry!! Stop!!
The phone drops.
Joey: *More glass shattering * THAT IS IT!!
JC: No Joey! Please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm
sorry!!
Lance: No Joey! Look! It's fine! It doesn't even hurt
anymore! Look! It's not even bleeding that much!! I
just need a few stitches and some rest, and I'll be
fine!!
Joey: No!! This bastard needs to know what it feels
like to hurt! We've all gone through his abuse and now
it's his turn!!
JC: No!! Joey! NOOOOOO
*Banging and screams*
Silence.
Lance: *starts crying* Joey!! Look what you did!!
Chris: Joey! I think you killed him! Look at him!!
Joey: Don't worry about it. Just elevate his legs and
get some towels and ice. He'll be fine. I don't think
he'll die.
Toilet flushes and door opens.
Justin: What the hell happened here?!
Lance: *crying* Joey grabbed a b-beer b-bottle and he
broke part of it off then he attacked JC with it
and--and *breaks down into sobs*
Justin: Joey!! You remember what happened last time
you did this!?
Chris: He's done this before?!
Justin: Yes! You don't let Joe have glass when he been
drinkin' homes!
Joey: Don't worry about it! He'll be fine!!
Chris: Shouldn't we call an ambulance or something? I
mean look at him!! His head is kinda...crooked...and
his leg looks like, well....
Joey: No! Chris just leave him alone!!
Lance: *still crying* What if he dies?! *wails*
Joey: SHUTTUP!! He isn't going to die!!! Now, I have
to get back to my phone call.
He picks up the phone.
Joey: Hello?
Silence.
Joey: HELLO?! Jessica!! Damn! She hung up on me!!
Chris: How rude!
Joey: I know!! Oh well, Lance get me a beer...
*Click*
