Christmas With NSYNC
By: Jennifer
Jen: Uh, Joey?
Joey: hdajsdasdsil?
Jen: What the HELL are you doing?
Joey: *cough *gag* I'm hungry.
Jen: You're hopeless, you know that?
Joey: Yes
Chris: WHAN ARE WE GONNA OPEN PRESENTS?!?
I look over to see Chris leap over the couch and smash into the coffee table. I shake my head and sit down on the couch.
Jen: Now, Chris, we can open presents.
Chris: WHOOOO!!!!
Lance comes walking in with a pink frilly apron on, carrying a tray of Christmas cookies and tea.
Lance: Here we go boys...
He turns around to put his apron on a chair. When he turns back around, the cookies are gone.
Lance: Now where...
He spots Joey on the couch, and puts his hands on his hips.
Lance: Joey...
Joey: It wasn't me!
He pulls a cookie out from under his leg and throws it at Busta.
Joey: It was Busta!
Chris: Don't be cappin on mah dog!
JC: Chris, "cappin" is SO last year.
Justin: Yeah homes, and quit tryin to talk like meh.
Jen is rubbing her temples.
Jen: BOYS! Can we PLEASE get on with it?!
Chris: Yeah!
Lance sits down in front of the tree.
Lance: The first one is for...Jennifer!
Jen: Oh goody.
I take the present and inspect the wrapping paper. Juvenile, Eminem, Nelly, and Jay-Z were all over it.
Jen: Uh, is this from you Justin?
Justin: Hell yah homes! Ah got that shit all ova mah walls!
Jen: Uh, that's great.
I tear open the paper to find Justin's jTr necklace.
Jen: Oh, um, thanks Justin.
Justin: Can I have it?
Jen: But you gave it to me
Justin: Bitch! Gimme mah bling bling!
Jen: Whatever...take it!
Lance: The next one's for...Chris!
Jen: Yeah, that's from me.
Chris tears open the paper.
Chris: RITALIN!! YES!!
He opens the bottle of pills and starts to shovel them into his mouth.
Jen: Good Lord...
Chris passes out.
Jen: Well, it's gonna be a lot more peaceful in here now.
A loud pitched scream is heard. I look over to see Busta chewing on Joey's hand.
Jen: Maybe not..
Lance: Okay, the next one is for...*squeal* me!!
He tears open the paper and finds a pair of big baggy jeans, a black wifebeater, hair bleach, and a big diamond studded necklace that has "jBl" on it.
Lance: Oh, Justin, this is...great...
Justin: Yeah, now you can be like me...well, you need to work yo' arms befo' you can wear that wifebeata, and the girls'll neva love you like they love me so...
Jen: Shut up you arrogant bastard!
Lance: Let's give out more presents...this one is for...Justin!
Justin: Hell yah homes!
He tears open the box and stares wide-eyed at the contents.
Justin: What tha...
The box contains a whole roll of pictures of him and Britney in some heavy bondage, complete with whips, chains, and handcuffs.
Justin: Where the hell did you get these?!
Jen: That's for me to know, and you to find out. And, I have negatives, so watch your back, bitch.
Justin begins to cry.
Lance: More presents!
He picks up a present with very sloppy wrapping. It is torn all over, and wrapped in duct tape.
Lance: This is for Joey.
Joey: Aww!!
He tears open the present.
Joey: Ooo...a 22 lb. box of chocolates!
He opens the box and starts to shove chocolates into his mouth. I pick up the paper to look at the gift tag. It reads: To - Joey From - Joey.
Jen: Uh, Joey? You bought these for yourself?
Joey looks up at me, a blank stare on his face, chocolate all over his mouth.
Jen: Did you get these for yourself?
Joey: Huh?
Jen: Did you buy these for yourself?!?
Joey: ....no....
Jen: Dumbass.
Lance: Okay!! Next one is for...my Jayycee!!
JC: Lance! No! That was ONE time! I was drunk! It will never happen again!
Lance begins to cry. JC takes the present and tears it open.
JC: Lance...what the hell..?
Two bottles of vodka are laying in the box.
Lance: I want to get you drunk again so we can have another passionate, steamy, sticky...
JC: That's enough!!
He stands up and kicks Lance.
JC: Shut the hell up!
Lance: But JC! I love you!
Justin: Ugh
Jen: I second that...Ugh
A loud thump is heard. I look over to see Joey laying on the ground, unconscious, chocolate bubbling out of his mouth and nose. Busta trots up to him and begins to lick his face. Chris, who has awoken, and has been staring at the ceiling and making noises in his throat, jumps up and grabs Busta, and takes off for the bathroom. The door slams, and a loud yelp and scream is heard, followed by a thump and a bark.
Jen: I don't even wanna know..
Lance screams and I look over at the Christmas tree to see it engulfed in flames.
Jen: Oh shit!
I jump up and run to Joey, who is drowning in chocolate, and attempt to drag him out of the house. I can't budge him.
Jen: Lance! JC! Justin! Help me!
Justin: Uhhh...
Jen: JUSTIN!!
Justin: Okay, okay...
The other three help me, and with much effort, we sucessfully drag Joey out of the house. As we stand and watch the house burn, Lance lets out a high pitched squeal.
Jen: NOW WHAT??
Lance: Chris is still in the house!
Me: .....and?....
Just then, Chris jumps through a second story window, a burning, growling Busta in his arms. He screams all the way down, and lands on the car, setting off the alarm. The crash jolts Joey awake, who sits up and begins to scream. Lance is at JC's feet, begging him to be with him. Justin is admiring himself in a car window reflection
Jen: NEVER AGAIN!!!
I spit at Joey, and begin to run in the other direction...fast. I make the decision to NEVER spend another day with the psychos EVER again.
