Jen's Day With NSYNC
8:31 - I wake up to wonderful smells of bacon, and
then burning and screaming. I hop up and run to the
kitchen to find Chris in a corner crying, holding
Busta, and the stove engulfed in flames. I grab the
fire extinguisher, and put it out, then throw it at
Chris and say a few innappropriate words.
9:38 - I wait patiently outside the door for Justin to
get out of the shower.
10:23 - The shower shuts off
10:45 - Still waiting
11:54 - Still waiting
12:03 - Justin emerges, cotton ball hair and all,
smelling like raspberries.
12:04 - I smack him and tell him he looks terrible.
12:05 - He runs back into the bathroom, crying.
12:07 - Joey walks by with Busta between two pieces of
toast, leaving a trail of mustard behind him.
12:08 - Yelps and cussing
12:09 - Chris runs by me screaming and convulsing.
12:10 - Yelling and crying.
12:13 - Chris emerges from Joey's room with an earless
Busta.
12:14 - Joey runs out after Chris yelling something incoherent about how he needs food. Chris starts
beating Joey with Busta "YOU--FAT--ITALIAN--BASTARD!!
YOU WERE GONNA EAT MY DOG!!" Joey responds with "Chill
out dude! I was just gonna nibble on him a little!"
12:15 - I forget about my shower and head to the
living room to find Lance flipping through my Cosmo.
12:16 - I grab the magazine from him, roll it up, and
beat him with it for going through my stuff.
12:18 - Lance cries.
12:19 - JC storms out of his room with a whip and a
half gone bottle of whiskey. I tell him that I already
punished Lance, so there's no need to do it again. JC,
still in a drunken state, mumbles something and
stumbles into the backyard and falls in the pool.
12:30 - I go back to my room to watch some TV.
12:46 - I hear a scream and a crash. I run out to see
Joey standing outside the bathroom door, a box of
twinkies in the crook of his arm. "What is it?" I ask.
"I don't know," he responds stuffing a wrapped twinkie
into his mouth. "I just heard Justin scream." I try to
get in. The door is unlocked, but I guess Justin
passed out on the door. I ask Joey for help. He leans
on it and breaks the door off the hinges.
12:47 - I see Justin lying on the floor with a empty
bottle of Clorox in his hand and a bald head. I fall
to the ground laughing.
1:43 - I stand up and brush myself off, then fall back
onto the ground into ANOTHER fit of laughter.
2:04 - I stand back up, and go into the bathroom to
see if I can revive Justin.
2:34 - He wakes up, looks in the mirror, and passes
out again. I give up and see of Joey can revive him.
"Mmm, Justin had Apple Jacks for breakfast.." "NO
mouth to mouth Joey! And I mean it!"
2:43 - I put on my bathing suit and head out back for
a swim. I find JC swimming on his back in the pool,
waving a bottle of vodka around, singing "Row Your
Boat"
2:44 - I decide not to go swimming and go back inside.
2:56 - I am changed and have to go to the bathroom. I
open the door and see Lance filling the bathtub up
with Justin in the bottom of it, face down.
2:57 - I run and grab JC's whip and start beating
Lance with it. He runs off and into his room.
3:00 - I drag Justin out of the bathroom and
accidently push him down the stairs. He wakes up, and
stands. He see's himself in the hall mirror,and passes
out again.
4:00 - Chris comes back from the vet and Busta has 2
plastic ears. Despite his misfortune, he is still
happily barking.
4:24 - I hear muffled cries from the basement. I open
the door and hear Lance screaming at the top of his
lungs. I run down and find him caught in a hideaway
bed. Apparantly, he went down there and laid on it,
and it snapped shut on him. I can't seem to free him,
and he is losing consciousness from the pain. I call
for Joey to come help me. He runs down with a Jumbo
bag of Lays in his arm.
4:37 - JC comes barreling down the stairs with a whip,
and a bottle of Rum. I tell him Lance needs no further
pain. He stumbles dumbly back up the stairs, and I
hear a loud splash.
4:39 - Joey has not helped me at all so I take the
bag of Lays away from him and tell him if he does not
help me, I will feed them to Busta. He starts crying.
I tell him to shut the hell up, he'll get his damn
chips back. He goes to push the bed open, and pushes it over instead. Lance hits his head on a wrench and
starts crying. He says his whole body is numb.
4:52 - Joey kicks the bed and it pops open. Lance
rolls out and doesn't move. He starts crying and
complaining how he will never get to please another
woman. Joey tells him to stop crying, 'cause it wasn't
going to happen anyway.
5:03 - I go back up the stairs and hear a loud buzzing
sound. I walk into the kitchen and see Justin hovering
over Busta, shaving his hair off. "What the hell are
you doing?!"I scream at him. Sniveling and crying like
a baby, Justin explains how Busta's hair was so
beautiful, and he wanted hair like that.
5:07 - Chris comes running into the kitchen and sees
Justin shaving Busta bald. He grabs a kitchen knife
and starts chasing Justin around screaming obscenities
at him. He lunges at Justin in the hallway, and stabs
Lance, who has regained his strength, in the leg. Lance
falls to the ground in convulsions.
5:09 - JC comes barging in, with a whip and a bottle
of Tequila, and starts whipping Lance. I just stand in
the hallway watching them. Lance is on the ground
crying and twitching, trying to pull the knife out of
his leg. JC is stumbling around trying to whip Lance,
but hitting Chris instead. Chris is in the fetal
position, crying. Justin is passed out on the floor
with a handful of Busta's hair. Joey is standing off
to the side, finishing his bag of Lays. A bald Busta
with plastic ears trots up next to me. I can't take
anymore.
5:11 - I pack my bags and leave.