Jen's Masta Plan
When Nsync comes to town for a concert, I will bring a
gun, chlorophyll, and a backstage pass. When I get
there, I�ll go backstage, like normal, and wait for
the guys. When I see them, I�ll get the chlorophyll
soaked rag in one hand, and the gun in the other. When
Joey appears, I�ll take a running start and a flying
leap onto his back and cover his mouth and nose with
the rag until he passes out. When people try to stop
me, I�ll wave the gun around and dare anyone to come
close. I�ll let out a string of cuss words as I drag
Joey out the door and to the car...
By now, there are
about 100 people watching me, mostly 10 year olds
crying. With much effort, I hoist him into the back
of the car. I get in and start up the car. I start
heading towards Hoover Dam. About half way there, a
slew of cop cars and a helicopter are after me. I lean
out the window and shoot a couple rounds at the cop
cars, laughing maniacally. I lose them eventually, as
Joey comes to. He looks around confused and wonders
where he is. I tell him to shut the hell up and go
back to sleep. He shrugs his shoulders, rubs his head
and passes out again.
About an hour and 3 bottles of
vodka later, we get to the Hoover Dam. I shut off the car
and stumble out stupidly, almost forgetting why I�m
there, but when I see a big ol pile of Joey in my back
seat, I remember. I open the car door and drag him to
the dam. I give him a great push, and he rolls to the
bottom. Taking a swig of vodka and a deep breath, I
start rolling down the dam. I puke all over myself
halfway down. When I get to the bottom, I stumble
around and puke again. Getting my senses back, I walk
over to Joey, who is bleeding from the head and strip
him naked. I set up my video camera so I can have a
memento of this joyous occasion. Then I strip down,
smile, and RAPE HIM! When I�m done, I turn off the
video camera and rest. After 3 hours of sleep and
another bottle of vodka, I drag Joey back up the dam
(And you can just imagine how hard that one is), and
throw him back in the car. I head back to the MGM and
drop him off in the parking lot where I know he�ll be
found. I go home and sleep. I wake up and watch my
video. I am happy.
