Episode 52

"A Knife in the Dark"

Tron, a desperately lucky elf, Matt Grossman

Norel, a battle-scarred ranger, this week by Matt Grossman and J. Sage Schreiner

Nigil, a mysterious noble from a distant land, Kevin Osborn

Soren, a priest of the war-god Hextor, Paul Skavland

Hawkwind, a spell-caster from the great city of Greyhawk, Bruce

Bliz, a blue skinned elf from icy North, Michael Goff

The party has just defeated a group of giant undead spiders. They decide to move on before camping.

Norel: We should get away from the spider corpses anyway, in case any scavengers show up.

They follow the wall of the cavern for a while, until they come to an archway with an inscription above it.

Tron: Time for that "reading" thing you guys do.

Hawkwind: Errr... it's in Drow. I think. Bliz, you lived among the drow, can you read it?

Bliz: I can't read.

Tron: Yes! Gimme five! At least someone else in this party has sense! Reading is dangerous.

They go through the archway and find themselves in a fifty foot wide corridor. There are arches packed full of bones set in the wall.

Each arch holds a different type of bone; skulls, femurs, etc. The corridor continues for 100', then two narrower corridors run off to the side. Each of these corridors also has archways that are full of bones. The main corridor continues for another 100', then there is another pair of side corridors. After another 100' the main corridor dead-ends.

Tron: That last side corridor on the left has a pressure plate on the floor. I think it is connected to a trap that collapses the ceiling.

Don't go down there.

Norel: Hmm... I'd guess that these are all elven bones. This must be a drow ossuary.

Nigil: Remember what happened the last time we were in one of these places?

Bliz: What happened?

Nigil: Long story.

Hawkwind: I guess we've found a drow burial area. But I think that the tomb of Alantria is probably marked in some way. She was important and wouldn't just have been stuffed into a bonepile like this.

Soren: (thinks about how many undead he could animate from all these bones)

The party decides to camp for the night at the end of the corridor.

Tron takes the first watch, then Nigil, then Gurgi. During Nigil's watch...

Nigil: Psst Tron, wake up.

Tron: What?

Nigil: I hear something.

Tron: Hmm... sounds like someone casting a spell.

Suddenly three sparks of light appear down the corridor and rush towards the party.

Tron: Fire in the... [fwoooshboom boom boom]

Three fireballs explode in the middle of the party. Hawkwind and Bliz are badly wounded and pass instantly from "asleep" to "unconscious".

The other party members are all wounded to lesser or greater degrees.

Not even the keen eyes of the elves and dwarves can see far enough into the darkness to locate the party's attackers.

Gurgi: (rolls behind Hawkwind's unconscious body and plays dead)

Nigil: (moves cautiously down the corridor) Trithereon curse this darkness!

Laurallie: Obad-Hai, heal this mage! (heals Hawkwind)

Tron: (moves down the corridor and tries to hide)

There are more spellcasting sounds from the darkness.

Nigil: Aargh! I'm blinded!

Magic missiles fly from the darkness and strike Nigil, Norel, and Soren.

Norel: (casts Darkvision on himself) Still can't see them... (moves forward)

Hawkwind: Everyone gather around me! Let's see... range 110', angle 10 degrees...

Tron: Hey, watch it!

Hawkwind: I know what I'm doing. (launches a fireball down the corridor, guessing at the attacker's location)

Soren: Hextor, heal your priest! (heals himself)

Gurgi: (hides)

Nigil: (follows the wall and moves forward) It's dark anyway, so being blind isn't really a disadvantage.

Laurallie: Obad-Hai, heal this elf! (heals Bliz)

Bliz: Now it's my turn! (casts wall of ice, blocking the corridor)

Tron: (moves next to Hawkwind) What's your plan?

Hawkwind: Dimension door!

A shimmering doorway appears in front of him. Hawkwind, Tron, Laurallie, Norel, and Bliz step through. They find themselves in the first cross corridor.

Hawkwind: (whispers) Laurallie, hide your light. I think we've outflanked them.

Laurallie: Anyone need healing?

Tron: Me.

Laurallie: Anyone else? Anyone at all? Hmph. (heals Tron)

Meanwhile...

Soren: Dammit! They left without me! Oh well. (heals himself again)

Nigil: Hello? Is anybody there? Why is it so cold? Hello?

The away team waits, readying their weapons. Norel can see in the total darkness because of his Darkvision spell. They hear the sound of multiple footsteps running up the corridor towards them.

Norel: Now, Laurallie!

Laurallie: (uncovers her holy symbol) Let the light of Obad-Hai shine!

The characters see three centaur-like creatures with spider bodies and legs connected to drow torsos, heads, and arms. They are all somewhat scorched. The monsters are taken totally by surprise.

Laurallie: Driders!

Bliz: How about some ice, monsters! [blam]

The elf's spell blasts the driders with intense cold, shattering their bodies into frozen shards.

Bliz: I thought it might do that.

Tron: I don't hear any more. I think that was all of them.

Nigil: Help, I'm frozen to this wall! Is anybody there? I can't see!

Bliz dispels the wall of ice and the party loots the bodies. They find three finely made longbows, sixty masterwork arrows (which Tron appropriates), 120 gold drow coins, an opal worth 900 silver, a malachite worth 9 silver, a pearl worth 100 silver, and an uncut sapphire worth 1000 silver.

Tron: If that sapphire were cut properly it would be worth much more.

Hawkwind: Where did they get a pearl from?

Soren: Bah. This sucks. I missed the fight.

Norel: Can you cure Nigil's blindness?

Soren: Hmm... I have to pray for that particular spell.

The party decides to finish resting in their current location.

Soren: If anybody tries to come after us, the drider bits might scare them off. Haw haw!

Norel: Laurallie, what are driders?

Laurallie: When drow reach a certain level of power, they are tested by their goddess, the demon Lolth. If they fail the test, they are cursed to become driders and exiled from the drow community. The driders hate the drow deeply, and they also hate everything else.

Soren: That's badass. But it's also kind of stupid, I mean, you guarantee that there's going to be a large hostile force right next to your base. Now, in a state ruled under the principles of Hextor, every loyal subject would be guaranteed employment suitable to his or her capacity, however limited that capacity. Wasting enemy ammunitiion, for example, is perfect for the crippled, malnourished and under-intelligent.

The party rests uneventfully for another eight hours. After they wake, Soren cures Nigil's blindness.

Nigil: Wow, eyesight is one of those things that you just kind of take for granted.

Tron: Say, do any of you know what day it is? I think it's sometime in Fireseek, but I lost count when we were with the gnomes.

Nigil: Oh, it's not that important.

Tron: Just don't have sex.

Bliz: What's that about?

Norel: Well, there was this keep...

The party continues on around the wall of the great cavern. They find an ossuary similar to the first, and then another, and another.

Hawkwind: There must be thousands of drow buried here.

Soren: The tombs of the important drow are probably close by.

They come to a natural cavern that leads away from the main cavern that they are in.

Norel: Wait! There are many elf-sized tracks going in and out of this cavern. I think there are five of them.

They enter the cavern cautiously and find signs of a camp.

Norel: Hmm... drow scat. Two days old.

Soren: These must be the drow that are looking for the same artifact we are. What was the name of their leader again?

Hawkwind: Alakara.

There are several side passages. Down one they find a pile of rocks. There is a smell of decay in the air.

Tron: There's something buried under here.

Nigil: Might be a good idea to let it lie.

Laurallie: It might be a trap.

Soren: Ohh... the suspense is killing me! (starts taking rocks off the pile)

The dwarf uncovers the charred corpse of a drow.

Bliz: I guess they ran into the same driders we did. They must have left her here.

Hawkwind: Maybe they intended to raise her later.

Soren: Hmm... she'd make a fine zombie. Heh heh.

Nigil: Let's put the rocks back. We might be able to ambush the drow when they return to their camp.

They explore some more side passages, finding one with a deep crevasse in it.

Norel: Those tracks are all through these caverns. They must have explored this area already.

Tron: Shh! I hear something.

Laurallie hides her light and the party waits.

Nigil: Gurgi, could you go see what that is.

Gurgi: Sure.

They wait a while longer, then there is a commotion, then silence.

Tron: Whose hand is that?

Nigil: Sorry, I thought you were Bliz. Elves all feel the same in the dark.

Norel: Hey, keep it down...

Bliz: You men are urk! Gaak! Argh!

Nigil: It's not me!

Soren: (the only one who can see what's going on) Gurgi's betrayed us!

Laurallie uncovers her light, and the party sees Gurgi twisting his dagger in Bliz' kidney.

Hawkwind: He's been mind-controlled! Hmm, I know that spell. (casts Dominate on Gurgi) Hee hee, this is too much fun. Gurgi, protect Bliz.

Gurgi: I obey.

Bliz: Those drow bastards! (casts light on a rock and charges towards where the party assume the drow are) They'll pay for this!

Hawkwind: Same play as last time, team!

Soren: This time, I'm going with!

Hawkwind casts Dimension door and transports himself, Tron, Laurallie, Nigil, and Soren to the entrance of the cave. They spread out and prepare to engage the drow. Norel, Bliz, and Gurgi remain behind, and also move to engage the drow.

Soren: We've got them between the hammer and the anvil.

Suddenly a voice calls out of the darkness in Drow.

Laurallie: They're asking for a parley. They want to know what we're doing here and why we attacked them.

Hawkwind: Ask them what they're doing here, and tell them they attacked us, by mind-controlling our companion.

Laurallie talks to the Drow.

Laurallie: They say that they're from Ekdraenom. They thought that the dwarf was going to attack them. They want to know why we're here again.

Bliz: Enough of this. (in Drow) We have a message for Alakara. Is she here?

Drow: Yes, I am she.

Bliz: Show yourself, so that we know that you are Alakara.

Dancing lights briefly illuminate a drow.

Alakara: Here I am. What is the message?

Bliz: Fuck you! (casts Iceball) [fwaboom]

Battle is joined.

Tron: That's my kind of woman!

Laurallie: That idiot! (runs forward with her light, stopping when she can see the drow)

There are four drow, all female. One (Alakara) is standing to the side, looking frostburned and mad. The other three are standing in a line, with a richly dressed drow between two heavily armed drow carrying crossbows.

Bliz: Let's finish this. (prepares to cast a spell)

Drow#2: (shoots Bliz with a crossbow, interupting the spell and dropping the ice elf, unconscious and badly wounded)

Hawkwind: (watches the richly dressed drow, preparing to counter any spells she might cast)

Nigil: (runs forward) At last, a real fight!

Alakara: (attacks Nigil with her longspear) Die, human! [stick]

Tron: [twang twang] (shoots Alakara)

Soren: Feel the wrath of Hextor!

A blast of fire falls on the drow, but they ignore its effects because of their innate spell resistance.

Soren: Crap.

Drow#1: (begins casting a spell)

Hawkwind: Not so fast! (attempts a counterspell)

Drow#3: (shoots Hawkwind with a poisoned crossbow bolt, paralyzing him and interrupting the counterspell)

Drow#1: (finishes casting her spell, imprisoning Laurallie in transparent cube of force)

Gurgi: (shoots at Drow#1, misses)

Norel: (tries to bandage Bliz) I can't find the artery!

Laurallie: (bangs on the walls of her cage)

Nigil: Get some! [hack chop]

Alakara: Curse you! [stab poke]

Tron: Concentrate all fire on the spellcaster! [twang twang twang]

Drow#1: Argh!

Soren: This looks bad. Hextor, aid your servant! I summon Sumara, centurion of the legion of the damned!

A menacing figure cloaked in chains appears next to Nigil.

Sumara: What is your will?

Soren: Kill the drow!

Sumara: (attacks Alakara with chains that fly from his body, wounding her)

Norel: There’s blood everywhere! (still trying to bandage Bliz) Wait, is this the spleen or the pancreas?

Gurgi: Don't look at me. (shoots drow#1)

Nigil: Eat steel! [spuck]

Alakara: Urk. [thud]

Drow#1: (teleports away with the two surviving drow)

Norel: Dammit, she's almost gone! Here Gurgi, hold this.

Gurgi: Like this?

Norel: No! Pull it tight! Ooops. I don’t think that was good.

Sumara: (returns to whence he came)

Soren: Hextor is the best! Oh yeah, oh yeah! (casts Neutralize Poison on Hawkwind) I'm so glad I don't follow that wuss god Moraddin anymore.

Hawkwind: Huh? What's going on? (disintegrates the force cube that imprisons Laurallie)

Laurallie: (runs over to Bliz)

Norel: Too late. She's dead.

Tron: That's too bad. Loot the body!

Nigil: Wait... Soren, you have the power to raise the dead, right?

Soren: Well, I could bring her back as a zombie, or...

Nigil: No, I mean really raise the dead.

Soren: Oh, ok. Hextor will demand a favor of her though. And I need 5000 silver worth of powdered diamond.

Laurallie: We only have a few hundred silver, for restoration spells.

Hawkwind: I bet the deep gnomes have diamonds. I can memorize four teleport spells tomorrow morning, and we can be back there tomorrow.

Laurallie casts Gentle Repose on Bliz, so her body does not decompose. They also search Alakara's corpse. Her spear and ring are magical, and she also has a finely made scimitar, a shirt of elven chain, a large mithril shield, and a black stone carved with strange runes.

Hawkwind: I cannot read these letters.

Tron: It might be important. Better keep it.

They camp in the cave overnight, so Hawkwind can study the teleport spell. He entertains the party by making Gurgi dance.

Hawkwind: He'll do whatever I say for the next twelve days! This is awesome.

Soren: Normally I wouldn't approve of humiliating a fellow dwarf like that, but this is just too funny.

Hawkwind: He was swimming in our money. He deserves it.

The next day they prepare to travel back to the gnome village.

Hawkwind can only bring four people each time. The first time he takes Tron, Norel, Soren, and Bliz' corpse. They appear inside the hut of the gnome captain where they stayed earlier.

Gnome's wife: (gabbles at the party in gnome, a language none of them speak)

Norel: Hi.

Hawkwind teleports back, gathers the rest of the party, and prepares to return to the gnome village.

Hawkwind: There's a small chance that we'll end up in a similar place to the one I'm trying to go to, because I didn't study the area that carefully when I was there.

They appear in a strange svirfneblin village.

Svirfneblin: Yub yub!

Nigil: Hi.

Hawkwind: Ooops. Fortunately I have one more spell memorized.

The next time he gets it right. The party spends some time wandering around trying to find someone who speaks dwarvish, since Bliz is dead and unable to cast the Tongues spell that they used to communicate with the svirfneblin previously. Eventually they meet with the council and try to bargain with them in dwarvish.

Nonn: So you are merchants! You bargain!

Soren: We're not merchants, we just want to get some powdered diamond.

Nonn: That is our treasure. What can you give us in exchange?

Party: (whisper whisper)

Soren: How about this fine mithril shield? You could use it as a platter... a sled...

Dodnim: Hmph. The workmanship is poor. And we have mithril.

Party: (whisper whisper)

Soren: We have this fine dagger, er, shortsword to you. It is enchanted to slay abominations, such as beholders, aboleths, and all kinds of monsters that you run into down here.

The gnomes are very impressed and pass the dagger among themselves, whispering.

Soren: And in addition, Hextor will grant you and your closest associates a mighty feast, such as you have never had before!

Gnomes: (whisper whisper)

Nonn: We accept! We will have the dagger and the feast, in exchange for some diamonds.

The svirfneblin give the party twice the amount of the diamonds that they need, and the characters quickly grind up the diamonds. Soren prepares to raise Bliz from the dead. The rituals are suspiciously complicated...

Laurallie: Do you really need to paint "Hextor Rules" all over her naked body?

Soren: Um... yes?

Tron: Oh yeah.

Nigil: Definitely.

Laurallie: (starts slapping the hilt of her scimitar)

Soren: Be glad I'm not Danic. Hextor, return the soul of this elf to her body!

Bliz: Huh? What? Where am I?

Norel: Welcome back.

Nigil: What's it like being dead?

Bliz: I don't remember. Hey, where are my clothes?

That evening Soren provides a great feast for the twelve most important gnomes. It is the best meal that they have ever eaten in their lives.

Soren: Greedy little pigs. They're better than halflings though. Hextor approves of filed teeth and facial tattoos.

Hawkwind: I used the pearl we took off those driders to identify this amulet we took from that dwarf wizard. It will increase the health of the owner. Bliz, I think you should carry it, since you will be weaker than the rest of us for a while.

Bliz: Fine by me!

Tron: So Bliz, how did an ice elf end up in the underdark?

Bliz: Well, we ice elves are enslaved by the frost barbarians in the north. When my magic talent first appeared, it was as a fire ability. My father was happy, because in the arctic cold is our enemy. But as I matured it became clear that most of my powers concerned cold. My father was outraged and drove me from the camp. I felt that like the drow, I was an outcast from elf society. I traveled here to learn from them. But my teacher was killed, and I didn't get along in drow society either.

Laurallie: What is it with elf men anyway? My father sold me into slavery to the drow. Our society is so patriarchal and oppressive. In nature the sexes have a more equal relationship.

Tron: Bah.

Hawkwind: Enough of this. Gurgi, dance!

The party spends the night in the svirfneblin village, and prepares to return to the cave in the morning.

Hawkwind: I studied the cave carefully while we were there, so it should be no problem to bring us back.

Norel: I hope the drow aren't waiting for us.

Soren: I should have animated Alakara's corpse as a ghast! That would be awesome! I have to do that when we get back!

Nigil: Did you find out what that stone said?

Soren: Yeah, it's just a love letter from some guy named Pharn.

Probably the same one as in the letter. Wouldn't it be awesome if we animated his girlfriend's corpse, and then he saw her! Hextor would be pleased!

Laurallie: I think Pharn is a woman's name.

Norel: Who would write a love note on a rock?

TO BE CONTINUED...