Episode 51

"Kingdom of the Spiders"

Tron, a desperately lucky elf, this week by Tom Morin and Sage Schreiner

Norel, a battle-scarred ranger, Tom Morin

Nigil, a mysterious noble from a distant land, Kevin Osborn

Soren, a priest of the war-god Hextor, Paul Skavland

Hawkwind, a spell-caster from the great city of Greyhawk, Bruce

Bliz, a blue skinned elf from icy North, Michael Goff

All others, Sage Schreiner

At the bottom of the long stair, the path continues off into the darkness. The path has two well worn groves formed by wagon wheels years ago.

Norel: The effort it must have taken to haul wagons up the road, then up those stairs...

Gurgi: The old road was much easier to travel.

The party continues walking.

Nigil: So Norel, we got these three masterwork great axes from the Holy Axe. Do you want one?

Norel: No.

Nigil: How about one of these throwing axes?

Norel: No.

Soren: Dammit! I should have raised some of those dwarves and had them serve me. That would have been sweeeeet. Do you think we could haul one of the bodies back up from the bottom of that crevice?

Tron: Hey! There's a light up ahead!

About a mile ahead the party can see a single light source slowly approaching them. As the party gets closer they can tell that there is a single humanoid holding the light. Suddenly the light stops moving.

Hawkwind: Let's get closer and check it out. We can handle one person.

The party reaches the light source, which is a lantern sitting on the ground, but see no one.

Norel: Hello?

Female Voice: State your business!

Hawkwind: Why don't you come out where we can see you and we'll talk.

Female Voice: There are more of you then there are of me. I think I'll stay hidden.

Tron: (listens) She's right there! (points)

Female Voice: ... (moves)

Tron: (continues to point) Now she's over there. (Recognizes her accent, in Fruzti:) Please share the warmth of our hearth and let no harm come to you while you stay.

Female voice: (surprised) The traditional Fruzti greeting! (becomes visible) Greetings.

Before the party is a stunningly beautiful elf with blue skin and red eyes. She is an arctic elf from the lands of the far north.

Nigil: I saw her first!

Laurallie: Remember what happened with your last girlfriend.

Hawkwind: Uhhhh… say, what's a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?

Female elf: I seek the surface.

Soren: (points behind him) It's that way. Follow the road. Can't miss it.

Female elf: And what of yourselves? What are you doing here?

Nigil: We're on a mission from the Lord of the Halls.

Norel: How much would you cry if our mission involved killing drow?

Female elf: I was learning from a Drow who was murdered. I barely escaped with my life. I've had enough of the Drow and their infighting. Kill all you want, I just want to get away from the battle.

Laurallie: There is war upon the surface as well. There is no safety there, or anywhere. One way or the other, the battle will find you.

Female elf: You seem like a well equipped party and there is safety in numbers. Perhaps you could let me join with you and I can help you find what you seek?

Nigil and Tron: (drool)

Soren: Bah… not enough meat on those bones.

Hawkwind: That would be great. I'm sure we could use your skills. Do you know where the Drow burial mound is?

Female elf: There are many. I'm not sure which one you seek.

Norel: Fine, you can come with us, but I should warn you, there are those who seek us harm so traveling with us wont always be safe.

Female elf: That's ok, my name is Bliz.

Laurallie: Watch out for Tron.

Introductions are made and the party continues down into the darkness. When they get tired they make camp in one of the many pull-outs on the road.

Bliz: Tomorrow we shall reach the great mushroom cavern.

Gurgi: Do you want me to stand watch?

Norel: No... Tron will take first watch. I'll take second. Then I'll cast darkvision on Nigil and he can take third.

Nigil: Cool...

All the lights are extinguished and the party sleeps. All is quiet until midway through Norel's watch. The ranger hears the sound of movement approaching. Norel wakes Soren so that the dwarf can take a look. After a few minutes the figure of a small goblin with a short spear comes into view.

Goblin: What? Dwarf? Uh.... CHARGE! (charges Soren and scores a minor hit) Hiyaah!

Norel: (wakes party)

Soren: I don't know whether I should laugh or admire its courage.

Nigil: You woke me up for this?

Norel: (grabs the goblin in a bear hug) Anybody speak goblin?

Bliz: Allow me. (Mumbles an incantation) Goblin! What are you doing here?

Goblin: (sees Bliz) Oh, so pretty... Um... Fight in mushrooms... gnomes win... I run away... come here. Pretty…

Bliz: Do you know if there is a burial ground nearby?

Goblin: Ummm....yes? I know where the one you seek is!

Bliz: The one with the dead goblin general?

Goblin: Yes! And treasure, lots of treasure. Say, wanna breed?

Bliz: (sigh) Thank you, you are free to go.

Norel: We done with him?

Bliz: Yes...

Tron: Ooooo let me!

Norel: (snaps the goblin's neck and tosses the body into the chasm)

Tron: Dammit, I get the next one.

Bliz: What did you do that for? He was harmless.

Norel: Where there is one, there are many. Better safe than sorry.

The party goes back to sleep and the night passes uneventfully. In the morning the party continues on to the mushroom cavern.

Nigil: Seeing in the dark is cool!

The party enters a huge cavern. As they follow the road they begin to see mushrooms. They are small at first but grow in size as the party continues. The air also gets moist and the party hears a roar in the distance.

Gurgi: That's a cataract. There's a bridge going over it. At least there used to be.

As the party follows the road the number of mushrooms grows as well as their size. They soon find themselves in a mushroom forest. The road is overgrown and becomes increasingly hard to follow.

Soren: Luckily all we need to do is follow the sound of water.

As the party continues Norel sees something off the road.

Norel: Look! a goblin corpse!

Nigil: And here's a goblin helmet with a big dent in it.

Norel: This goblin died from a massive crushing blow. I wonder if the stories of Gnomes employing earth elementals is true. And look at how covered this goblin is. We know the battle happened last night so these mushrooms must grow really fast!

The party continues a short ways when suddenly a glowing stone is thrown in front of them.

Soren: Screw this. (picks up the stone and hucks it into the forest)

Voice: Who goes there?

Bliz: We do.

Voice: Um... where are you going?

Bliz: That way.

Voice: You can't go that way. Turn back.

Bliz: Look, we're just going to go through the forest then over the bridge, and we'll be on our way.

Voice: But that's not allowed.

Bliz: Ok, I tried to be nice, but now we and our hundreds of others are just gonna march on through and there's nothing you can do to stop us.

Voice: ...Uh... hundreds?

Bliz: Well... let's call it 99, but only we 9, er, 8 will pass now, since we're so nice.

Voice: Er... Um... Ok.

Bliz: The Gnomes say we can pass.

Norel: It's great having a people person in the party.

The party continues on towards the sound of water. As the vegetation gets thicker they loose sight of the road all together. Soon they come to the edge of the cataract. Below they can here the sound of rushing water. There is no bridge.

Gurgi: The bridge must be nearby. Let's try going left.

They walk for a few hours until the hit the cavern wall.

Gurgi: Must have been the other way...

The party back tracks and about 100 yards further they find the bridge.

Gurgi: See! I told you!

The bridge is a massive example of fine dwarven construction. It is simple and meant to last a very long time. The party crosses to the other side where they pick up the road again and continue for the rest of the day. As they are getting tired, they come to the end of the cavern and the road disappears into a smaller tunnel. The party decides to camp along the wall. The night passes uneventfully and the next morning the party continues on down the tunnel. Part way through the tunnel, they see several Gnomes marching towards them. These Gnomes are poorly dressed and are carrying large sacks. They stop and eye the party.

Norel: I picked up a few words from Sapphire.... HA - WA - DI

The Gnomes brighten up a bit at this greeting and start to talk quickly.

Bliz: (Casts a spell) Wait, slow down, YOU ( points to a Gnome) what are you doing here?

Gnome worker: We are going to collect mushrooms. Are you supposed to be here?

Bliz: The sentries let us pass, didn't they? Do you know where we could find a Drow burial mound?

Gnome worker: I don't know. You should talk to the council. They are in the town that way (points down the road).

Bliz: Why don't you show us the way?

Gnome worker: You can't miss it and we're supposed to gather mushrooms or we'll get in trouble.

Bliz: We'll help you gather mushrooms. Where are they?

Gnome worker: Back in the mushroom cavern across the bridge.

Bliz: That's too far. Tell you what. Why don't you come with us while the rest of the Gnomes go get the mushrooms.

Gnome worker: That's a great idea! (gives his sack to his unhappy friends) Bye guys! Let's go!

The Gnome leads the party along talking as fast as he walks -- very quickly. He asks many questions whiile he talks, but never listens for the answer. He doesn’t appear to notice when Bliz’s spell wears off. The party passes a long day wishing for some way to block out the sound. They travel beyond the time that they would sleep and eventually come to a fortification. The dwarf road opens up into an enormous, undergrou plain, and the fort stands as a gate. The fort isn't very sophisticated -- nothing that would sustain a siege, but adequate for disorganized goblin raids. The Gnomes here are poorly armed and armored. All of their equipment is very basic. The Gnome worker introduces the party to what appears to be the leader of the fort.

Gnome captain: (in Dwarvish) What are you surface dwellers doing here?

Bliz: The Lord of the Hall has sent us on a quest to retrieve a magical item from the Drow.

Gnome captain: Magic, you say?

Nigil: Say it's not magic.

Bliz: Not a magic item, an artifact of great importance to the Dwarves. It was stolen by the Drow.

Gnome captain: (not buying it) You must speak with our elders. The council is in the city.

Bliz: We were on our way to speak with them.

Gnome captain: (blink, blink) We will spend the night here and head out in the morning. (sends the Gnome worker off to rejoins his fellow workers) He's a bit slow. Gathering mushrooms is all he's good at.

Soren: And talking...

The party is lead into the fort where the Gnomes share their supper of mushrooms and fish. It is obvious that they are all underfed. Norel eats a bit, then takes out some rations and starts eating that. The Gnomes stop eating and stare.

Bliz: We would be happy to share.

The party divvies up a few shares of rations to the Gnomes who eat it like the best feast they will ever have. The captain is moved by the gesture.

Gnome captain: You surface dwellers are all right. My name is Erzur.

The party spends the night with the happy Gnomes and set of early the next morning with Erzur himself leading the party. Unlike their previous guide, Erzur doesn't talk constantly. He sets a fast pace and doesn't stop for lunch. They pass over a large plain. In the distance they can hear water. A few hours after lunch they reach the town. It looks very old and has seen better days. This settlement is obviously in a state of decline. The air is heavy with coal smoke, and pale underground fish and mushrooms dry slowly on racks under stinking fires.

The party is lead to Erzur's house where his undernourished wife and children greet him.

Erzur: You must wait here. I will talk to the council.

Bliz: We want to talk to the council too.

Erzur: You will have your chance soon. First I must tell them you are here.

The party rests for a few hours and work a bit on their story.

Norel: These Gnomes don't have much. I think they'll try to rob us blind.

Soren: So let them try. If we want to leave there's nothing they could do to stop us.

Bliz: I will make it so that we can all communicate with them in their own language. That should impress them.

Nigil: Just do Me, you, Hawkwind, and Norel. The others lack a certain amount of people skills.

Soren: You're one to talk!

Soon Erzur returns.

Erzur: The council will see you now. Take care for they are old and a bit difficult to deal with. They are respected as our elders so it would be better if you could convince them peacefully. Be careful in your negotiations – they must all be in agreement.

The party is lead to an amphitheater that is full of townsfolk. In the center there are three chairs occupied by three Gnomes. One, male, is asleep. The second, female stares at the party intently. The third, male, frowns at the party. Erzur does his best to make an elegant introduction - trying to give the party as good a face as possible. The Gnomes are introduced as Ruynt (asleep), Nonn (female), and Dodnim (male).

Nonn: Yes, yes, but can they speak a civilized language?

Bliz: Indeed we can. We come bearing greetings from the Lord of the Halls.

Dodnim: I don't trust 'em. Surface dwellers always lie.

Ruynt: <Snoooore>

Bliz: We have been sent on a quest for the dwarves to retrieve an item that the Drow stole from the dwarves centuries ago.

Nonn: You're lying, why would the dwarves suddenly need this thing after so many years?

Bliz: It took the dwarves this long to ascertain it's location.

Ruynt: Sounds reasonable. Let them pass.

Ruynt: Snoooo-Hungh? Whadaya want?

Nigil: We just want permission to pass through your lands.

Ruynt: Bah! Let them go. Snooooore.

Nonn: You are not searching for some "item". You are merchants trying to avoid the merchant tax.

Bliz: Your other two council members already agreed to let us pass though your kingdom...

Nonn: But I have not! Do you mock me?! This is no kingdom. This is a collective of Gnomes lead by a governing council! (whispers to Dodnim, pointing at the party).

Dodnim: (looks at party) You're right! They're merchants! You cannot pass.

Ruynt: <Snooore> Huh? Wha? Merchants? Of course you can't pass.

Bliz: Look, we're not merchants, we just want permission to pass through your community...

Nonn: COLLECTIVE!!!

Bliz: ... collective to retrieve this item for the dwarves. We could have just passed on through, raining death and destruction as we went --

Soren: Flame strike on standby!

Bliz: -- but we respect you so much we thought we should ask you first.

Nigil: (slips Bliz one of the Holy Axe's great axes)

Bliz: And as a sign of our appreciation may we present you this gift from the dwarves (lays the axe at the feet of the councilors).

Dodnim: That's fine workmanship.

Nonn: But that just proves that you are merchants. By the way you are dress you are obviously very wealthy and are trying to use this axe to avoid paying the tax.

Bliz: Fine, that's it, we're leaving. No more axe. (takes the axe)

Nonn: But you said that was a "gift".

Bliz: It was a thank you for permission to pass but since you won't let us pass you don't get to keep it. Now we'll pass whether you like it or not. (leaves)

Nonn: You will have to pass through the goblin kingdom.

Soren: Gnomes, goblins, they're all the same to Hextor.

Hawkwind: Look, you must believe us, we are not merchants. It you accept the axe as a gift then it can’t be a bribe. You can't have it both ways.

Nonn: Yes we can. We are the council. If you force your way past us, we will call on the Gnome kingdom to assist us.

Nigil: I thought you were a collective?

Dodnim: We are, but the great Gnome kingdom is nearby.

Bliz: (returns) Fine, what do you want.

Nonn: (smiles) Let's say... 10% of your wealth.

Bliz: (groan) What else do you want?

Dodnim: Ale? Got any Dwarvish ale?

Hawkwind: I wish...

Bliz: (takes all three axes from Nigil) We don't have any ale, because we are not merchants, but we do have three great axes, one for each of you, as a GIFT.

Dodnim: No ale?

Bliz: No ale.

Nonn: And some of your food supplies.

Bliz: We will give you one weeks worth (thinking 7).

Nonn: Agreed (thinking 7 * 8).

Dodnim: And the next time you pass through bring 10 kegs of are!

Bliz: Done!

Ruynt: Let them go already. Are we done yet?

The council breaks up and the party returns to Erzur's house to spend the night. The next day Gurgi leads the party off looking for the way down to the lands of the Drow. As they travel they hear the sounds of some strange animal howling. They spend the night at another fort where Soren shares some rations with the Gnomes.

Nigil: I'm surprised you would share your rations with them.

Soren: Hextor is not above patronage for those who know their place.

The next day they continue and at one point stop to investigate some carvings on the cavern wall which depict a long battle, possibly between the Gnomes and the drow, that the Gnomes loose after the appearance of some sort of centaur like monsters. After this they way is block by a huge rock fall which they decides to pass around. On the other side they reach another cataract and they find the bridge and cross it. On the other side they find a hole in the wall descending somewhat steeply down. At the entrance Norel finds tracks going down that look like elvish footprints. The party heads down, sometimes sliding, until they reach a point where the hole is to small to continue. A side tunnel opens up and is the direction the footprints lead.

Norel: I smell... insects. Stay alert.

Following the footprints, the party emerges into a large cavern and are greeted by a very large carcass of a spider. It has several spears and axes embedded in it with marks of the Holy Axe.

Tron: I guess the Holy Axe killed the spider. Better them than us.

Soren: But we saw no Dwarf tracks.

Norel: They must have gone the other way.

Soren: I wonder if I could raise one of these... hmmmmm.... pretty big. I'd need time to prepare. Bah, not worth the effort.

The party continues, following the tracks when suddenly...

Very large undead spider: (Takes a bite out of Norel)

Norel: Ouch! At least there's no poison.

Gurgi: Run away! (gets tagged on the way past spider #1)

Two more very large undead spiders come lumbering out of the dark.

Bliz: (Encases spider #1 in an ice prison) That should bye us some time.

Soren: Feel my wrath! (creates a wall of blades across the front of the other two spiders)

Tron and Norel: (use bows)

Nigil: Better let them come to me.

Hawkwind: (Casts fireball on spiders #2 and #3. His spell fails.)

Spiders #2 and #3: (Move forward through the wall of blades)

Bliz: Shazam! (Casts ice blast then gets out of the way)

Soren: Hextor’s wrath ignite! (Casts flame strike, killing spider #3, then gets out of the way)

Tron: (looks for more spiders)

Nigil: (steps forwards and is severely damaged by a well placed bite) I have all the luck... all the bad luck.

Norel: (Hack, chop, slice)

Spider #3: (Takes a bite out of Hawkwind)

Hawkwind: Why me? (casts several searing flames which destroy the spider)

Spider #1: (Breaks free from it's prison)

Norel: (draws mace of disruption) You still here? (whack)

Spider #1: (destroyed)

As the party regrouped the wall of blades continued to roar.

Hawkwind: Should we turn it off?

Soren: No, it's still protects our flank and it'll go away soon enough anyway.

Norel: With that much noise, everyone will know we’re here.

To be continued...