Episode 38
"The Hidden Princess"
(c) 2002 by Matt Grossman and J. Sage Schreiner

Ian, a sorcerous thief -- Paul Skavland
Tron, an elvish scout -- Matt Grossman
Nigil, a human noble from a distant land -- Kevin Osborn
Sapphire, a gnome from deep below -- Corey Paganucci
All others -- J. Sage Schreiner
 

After the battle with the fiendish girallons, the party spends the
next day resting and healing their wounds. They also select the most
portable treasure, mainly gems, gold, and platinum pieces, as their
share of the loot.
 
Nigil: Our contract doesn't say anything about which 40% we get. And
there's enough of this stuff to pay off the priests of St. Cuthbert
too.
Ian: Are you sure we still have to pay them? After all, their god is
dead.
Tron: He might be only sleeping.
Norel: Anyway, we promised.
Sapphire: How are we going to get the rest of this stuff back?
Jainos: We can hire a mule train... and charge it to the city. With suitable
profit. "3 sp for shoe leather wear, 16 sp for firewood collecting, 7 sp
muel skinner union". Plus we'll have to build a bridge over the chasm. It 
adds up. 
Ian: Wow... white collar crime!
Jainos: It's accepted accounting practice. What are they going to do?
Audit?
 
On the way back they stop to search the ruins of Shapic. It is blackened
and flattened. Occasional blood stains are the only mark of the tragedy
that occurred.
 
Ian: You know, this reminds me of the way my village was destroyed.
In fact, I'm sure that this was done by the same people.
Tron: You mean those two evil elves? Hmm, I've been looking for an
elf to try my scimitar on.
Lauralie: You mean one who's not in your party?
Nigil: Well, let's dispose of the treasure and get in touch with Groa
first, then we can go elf hunting.
 
They continue on to Marner and reach it that night. Norel and Laurelie decide
not to enter the city.
 
Laurallie: Cities of men are an abomination against nature.
Norel: My cat still isn't used to people. I'll just teach her tricks.
 
The rest of the party enters the city and proceeds to the church of St.
Cuthbert.
 
Tron: Hello? Anybody home? [knock knock] Hmm, guess not...
 
The party goes inside and finds the high priest of St. Cuthbert
whipping himself with a cat-o-nine tails. The skin is flayed away
from his back and blood is spattered across the floor and walls.
 
Tron goes up to the priest and takes the whip away from him.
 
Tron: Be a man!
Priest: Huh?
Nigil: Here's your money. [toss]
Priest: Huh? Ohhh... [thump]
 
They bandage the priest up and leave him lying on the floor, with the
moneybag next to him.
 
Nigil: I guess it's safe, nobody's going to rob the church of
St. Cuthbert.
Sapphire: At least he wasn't molesting boys.
Danic: That's the priests of Pholtus.
Tron: Hey!
Ian: I haven't been in Marner for awhile. I'd like to wander around
and check it out.
Nigil: Ok, we'll be at the sign of the One-Eared Pony, near the
training hall.
Ian: (turns himself invisible and vanishes)
 
The rest of the party goes to the inn.
 
Innkeeper: Hey! It's you guys again! I've got your rooms ready for
you. Come in, I'll serve you up some stew.
Danic: This is nice.
Sapphire: How's your, uhh, problem?
Innkeeper: Umm, it's great, it doesn't hurt when I pee
anymore.
 
The party settles down in the common room and the innkeeper brings
them food, then goes upstairs. Except for the party, the inn seems
deserted.
 
Nigil: Say, does this stew taste funny to you guys?
Sapphire: Urk! Urggh! [barf]
Tron: Ooogh! Aaack! Poison...
Jainos: Oohh, I don't feel good.
Danic: Hey, I think we got some bad beef here.
 
Tron and Sapphire are very ill, but the rest of the party manages to
resist the poison's effects.
 
Nigil: Must... kill... innkeeper.
 
The fighter staggers upstairs, but finds the innkeepers room empty.
The window is open and there is a ladder underneath it. In the
kitchen the party finds an empty vial next to the pot of stew.
 
Nigil: He must have been bribed to kill us... but by who?
Tron: Those mercenaries who came by looking for us! Remember?
Sapphire: Why?
Nigil: Because there's a reward out for us. Let's send their heads
back to Garflinn.
Tron: I've got a plan...
 
Meanwhile, Ian has been wandering around the streets of Marner. He
overhears fragments of many conversations:
 
Man#1: ...Ratikhill is doomed. There's no way that they can escape.
Morale is sinking. Many are deserting.
Man#2: ...she's offering land and women to men who will fight for
her.
Woman#1: ...I haven't seen his wife lately. She didn't come to our
knitting circle yesterday.
 
After about an hour, the rogue heads back to the inn. As he
approaches it, still invisible, he that several shadowy figures have
surrounded the building.
 
Shadowy Figures: [sneak towards inn]
Ian: [sneaks after figures]
 
Four of the figures sneak into the inn, while one stays hidden across
the street. Ian follows the figures as they go in, and sees the party
slumped across tables or on the floor.
 
Assassin#1: The poison got them! Let's make sure that they're dead.
 
The assassins approach the unmoving party members. Suddenly...
 
Tron: (hamstrings an assassin) Take that!
Ian: (stabs the last of the assassins in the back) I knew they weren't
dead!
Sapphire: (sits up) Hi!
Assassin: It speaks!
Sapphire: [stab]
Assassin: Ooogh...
 
Danic: Bull's Strength! Mooo!
Jainos: Ahem. [bzort bzort bzort bzort bzort]
Assassin: (explodes)
Tron: Hey, I was going to kill that one!
 
Another assassin runs down the stairs of the inn and backstabs Nigil.
 
Nigil: Ow! Hey!
 
Meanwhile, the party has been quickly dispatching the other
assassins. Two of them try to flee.
 
Jainos: Yawn. [bzort bzort bzort bzort bzort]
Assassin: [thud]
Assassin: [thump]
Tron: Wow, he's a one-man killing machine.
Sapphire: Hey Danic, how come you can't do that?
Danic: Bah.
 
The remaining assassin flees back up the stairs.
 
Nigil: He's going to use that ladder!
Tron: I'm on my way!
Ian: There was another one across the street... no, he's gone now.
 
The elf runs around to the back of the inn and waits behind the
ladder. When the assassin comes down it, Tron stabs him.
 
Assassin: Ooogh... (falls to the ground, unconscious)
 
The party bandages him back up, barricades the inn, and waits until he
regains consciousness. Other than Nigil, the surprised assassins
were brutally cut down without wounding the party.
 
Sapphire: How did you know to attack? How did you know that we
weren't dead?
Ian: Well, I figured that Danic would have to smell worse dead than
alive, and he didn't smell any worse than he does normally, so...
Danic: That's it! I'm sick of everybody making fun of me! I'm going
back to the islands to get my money!
Nigil: Remember the geas. You can't just walk away.
Danic: I will be working on the problem from a different angle. And I
will report on the situation to Groa.
Jainos: I believe the Geas should be broad enough that sincere
intention to serve it's purpose will be sufficient to avoid its
ill effects.
 
They discuss the rumors that Ian overheard.
 
Sapphire: So Groa is offering land and women to those who will fight
for her, huh? Sounds like a pretty good deal.
Nigil: Umm, is there something that you'd like to share with us?
Sapphire: Huh? No.
Tron: Hey! I bet that woman who was kidnapped was the innkeeper's
wife! That's how they got him to poison us.
Nigil: And the news from Ratikhill isn't good. But I don't see what
we could accomplish if we went there.
Assassin: (regaining consciousness) Ohhh... what y'all y'alls be a-goin' to
do wit' me?
Sapphire: What did he say?
 
It turns out that the assassin speaks a far-southern dialect of Aerdi that
is almost impossible to understand.
 
Assassin: We was hired by a haf'in. He be from Marner. I don' know
what fo' he be a-wantin' y'all y'alls killed.
Nigil: Halflings? What halfling enemies do we have? We killed those
guys at the cave. Maybe the ones that Aran offended in
Niborg... nooo...
Tron: I, err, can't imagine why halflings would want to kill me, err,
I mean us.
 
They also learn that the assassins had kidnapped and killed the
innkeepers wife, and that they had also killed the innkeeper.
 
Ian: Well, I guess we've learned everything we're gonna learn from
this guy.
Tron: [spuck]
Ian: Heh heh. I knew that was going to happen.
Jainos: Remind me not to get on your bad side. Does anyone have
a napkin?
 
The party spends the rest of the night in the inn. In the morning
they go and talk to Goloda.
 
Ian: ... and so that's the story. We have secured the treasure, and
for a reasonable fee we will bring the city's share back.
Goloda: Hmm... well, I guess I don't have any choice but to agree to
that. But you better charge a fair price!
Ian: Oh, we will.
Nigil: One last thing, some assassins tried to kill us last night. It
seems that they were hired by a halfling. Unfortunately we killed all
but one of them.
Goloda: A halfling, eh? I'll keep my eyes open.
Nigil: They killed the owner of the One-Eared Pony. We're staying
there now.
Goloda: Technically, that should revert to the city. I'll let you
stay for a month though. You can buy the property if you want.
Nigil: We'll think about it.
 
They set about hiring a mule train, mule skinners, supplies, etc.
They also pay a visit to a playwright.
 
Tron: ... and at the end the heroic elf kills the false paladin. Got
it?
Playwright: Hmm, ok. I think that's a good story idea. Of
course, since I'm writing it it's only fair that I keep all the
profits, as well as the fee you're paying me.
 
They spend most of the next week going to the tower, making sure that
Toadstool doesn't eat the mules or the mule skinner, recovering the
treasures from the dungeon, and loading them onto the mules. They
return to Marner and are welcomed as heroes. It is obvious that the
mules are carrying a great deal of wealth, and the people of Marner
rejoice at an opportunity to forget the dangers of the present. A
spontaneous celebration erupts throughout the city as the party
carries the wealth up to the castle.
 
Jainos: This is all going into the coffers of the first families of
Marner. None of these people will see a copper piece of it.
Nigil: It will trickle down. A rising tide lifts all boats.
Jainos: Bah.
 
The party discovers that "their" play has become a huge success:
 
Gabrielo: Now is the very hour of night
  When all those who joy in spite
  Do plot their deeds most foul.
 
  Now do I most quietly go,
  To slay the noble Deveraux.
 
Audience: Boo! Hiss! You suck!
 
Sapphire: Is that what really happened?
Nigil: Sort of. Basically. Yeah.
Tron : Merely corroborative detail, intended to add verisimilitude to
an otherwise unconvincing narrative.
Sapphire: Huh?
Jainos: I hate this low-brow crap.
 
The party moves to the One Eared Pony.
 
Ian: No reason why the city should get all this ale.
 
A kid runs up and tugs at Nigil's tunic.
 
Kid: Hey, there's a guy who wants to talk to you.
Nigil: A guy named what?
Kid: Gaspar. He's a big guy, he talks kinda funny.
Tron: I hope it's not Morogh.
 
The party follows the kid to the gate of the city. When the kid tries
to lead them out of the city, they refuse.
 
Nigil: He can come and talk to me here. Or we can talk at the sally
port over there. I'm not walking into an ambush.
Sapphire: That goes double for me.
Kid: It speaks! Um, ok.
 
The kid runs through the gate, and soon comes back.
 
Kid: Gaspar will be waiting at the sally port. He said you'd give me
two silver.
Nigil: One! (tosses the kid a coin)
Kid: (bites the coin, shrugs, and runs off)
 
They approach the sally port. There is a big man waiting outside.
 
Gaspar: Muh... muh... my name is Gaspar. I want you to come with me.
Nigil: And go where?
Gaspar: I wa... I wa... I want you to meet my g... g... g... girl.
 
The party follows Gaspar out of the city and to a cave in the hills
south of the city. There are signs that the cave has been camped in.
In the cave there are two candles, stacks of books, and a teenage
girl. She has distinct, hard features, dark hair and intense blue eyes, and
looks and sounds like a more distilled version of Allida, crawford's daughter.
They could be cut from the same cloth.
 
Girl: My name is Ilde. You are the ones that killed Jhaveks. I know it.
Tron: He deserv-
Nigil: Jhaveks who?
Tron: Who?
Ilde: I have heard of your deeds -- you aided Groa, Crawford, Marner. I would
retain you.
Tron: To do what?
Ilde: To save Ratik. My father is incapable of leading the army in Ratikhill,
and is under the influence of the paladin Gabriel. Unless he is stopped, he 
will lose the kingdom.
Sapphire: False paladin!
Ilde: That does not surprise me.
Nigil: So... who is your father? And who who are you?
Ilde: My father is King Oleg of Ratik. I am Ilde, his daughter. If I go 
to Ratikhill alone I will follow my siblings. This is why I need your help.
Sapphire: We heard that all of the king's children were dead.
Ilde: It seemed wisest to "die" at that time. I have been planning and
preparing. I need trustworthy allies with guile. Gaspar has courage,
but he is not wise in the ways of the world.
Nigil: We'll gladly help you if it means being able to take a crack at
Gabriel!
Tron: We need to train.
Ilde: How long?
Tron: Umm, about five weeks.
Ilde: That's too long. I believe that the orcs will attack when the pass clears
completely in the late summer. We must be in Ratikhill before then.
Ian: I don't need to train. Say, you're pretty cute.
Ilde: (Glares at Ian with faint disgust)
Ian: Can I buy you a drink?
Nigil: Ok, we're with you. Give us another day to get ready and
gather our associates. We'll meet you here two days from now.
Ilde: Very well. Return here in two days.
 
The party heads back to Marner.
 
Jainos: Did you see those books she was reading? "The Pomarj
Expedition", "The Civil Wars of Aerdi", "Memoirs of a Mercenary Captain"...
"Battles of the Ratikhill Pass".
Ian: Huh?
Jainos: [sigh] Those are all famous works of military history and
strategy. 
Nigil: Hey, I can read Keoish. It's not my fault Aerdi uses a
different alphabet.
Jainos: I counted three wholy distinct languages amongst the books.
Tron: Maybe she was just looking at the pictures. She didn't look
like a wuss.
 
Danic returns to the Yencro islands, bearing a message from the party
to Groa. Before he leaves, he identifies the other magic ring the
party found:
 
Danic: It lets you move around underwater, or something.
 
Ian also identifies the magic rod that he stole as a rod of silence.
 
Tron: The great thing about Pholtus is that he's the god of justice,
which means that if you catch someone doing something wrong, you can
just kill them. Like stealing, say. It's only ok to steal from
sinners. Like moneylenders, for example. In fact there's a funny
story there...
Ian: By the way, I had this rod with me the whole time.
Tron: I didn't see it before.
Ian: I hid it.
Tron: Where?
Ian: You don't want to know.
Tron: Wow. That's dedication.
 
Norel and Lauralie return from the wilderness.
 
Norel: Look at this! Sit. (lion sits) Kneel. Beg. Isn't she smart?
Lauralie: I can't believe that you torment a noble animal like
that.
 
TO BE CONTINUED...