Episode 33
"Bridge Over Troubled Waters"
(c) Matt Grossman and J. Sage Schreiner

Nigil Palom, noble from a far-distant land -- Kevin Osborn
Norel Boulderdash, a well-built ranger -- Tom Morin
Tron, a resourcefull elf -- Matt Grossman
Sapphire, a blood thirsty gnome warrior -- Corey Paganucci
Danic, a dwarven warrior-mage -- Eric Kruller
All others -- Sage Schreiner

In the middle of the night, Nigil hears something moving in the woods.

Nigil: Wake up guys, there's something out there!
Tron: Gahh! Uh, what a horrible nightmare.
Norel: Hmm, it sounds like talking. Probably orcs.
Nigil: (throws more wood on the fire)
Sapphire: Let's get 'em!
Danic: I will use my magic to make you stronger! Moo! (casts Bull's Strength on Sapphire)
Sapphire: Rrrrargh! Tika smash!

The party quietly puts their armor on. Tron climbs a tree, and the others take up 
defensive positions around the fire. Sapphire hides herself in the brush. Suddenly a
volley of crossbow bolts flies through the clearing.

Norel: Ow! Hey, these bolts are poisoned!

They hear chanting from the woods.

Tron: That sounds like it might be Orcish!
Norel: That was weird... I felt that something tried to hold me.

They hear more chanting.

Norel: I don't feel anything... Nigil, how about you?
Nigil: ...
Norel: Uh-oh. (drags Nigil's paralyzed body into the brush)

Tron: (in Orcish) Bah! You pansies couldn't kill your own mothers!
Voice: (in Aerdi) What did he say, boss?
Other Voice: Get 'em!

Four figures charge out of the woods into the clearing. Tron and Danic shoot at them, but
miss.

Tron: Stupid shortbow!

The figures appear to be three large men and a half-orc. One of the men charges Danic while
the other two and the half-orc charge Norel.

Man#1: (charging Norel, he runs right over Sapphire's hiding place)
Sapphire: Watch where you step! [stab]
Man#1: Ooogh...
Norel: (hacks Man#1 down and decapitates him with a flurry of blows)
Half-Orc: Uh-oh.
Norel: And here's some for you! [stab]

Another man circles behind the ranger.

Tron: Hah! Perfect! [twang twang] Dammit!
Man#2: (attacks Norel from behind, wounding him)

Meanwhile...

Danic: VaanDrager!!! [clang]
Man#3: Die, dwarf! [smash]
Soren: Hang in there! [twang]

Half-Orc: I call upon the power of Gruumsh!!!
Norel: ...to take your soul to hell! [stab]
Sapphire: Tika smash! [stab]

The half-orc is badly wounded, but completes his spell. A sphere of evil energy bursts from 
his hands and blasts Sapphire and Norel. The blast dispipates just short of Tron.

Norel: Ouch!
Sapphire: Ow!
Tron: Whoah! That was close.
Man#2: (attacks Norel)
Tron: (shoots and misses) Firkin' ding blast!

Half-Orc: (steps back and heals himself)
Norel: Get back here! [hack stab]
Sapphire: Come get some! [stab]
Tron: [miss miss miss] Arrgh!

Meanwhile:

Danic: VaanDrager! [clang]
Man#3: Die, dwarf! [smash]
Soren: Hang in there! [twang]

Half-Orc: (seeing the battle is going against him, he turns himself into mist and dissappears)
Man#2: Uh-oh. (runs into the woods)

The third man is quickly surrounded and surrenders.

Man#3: Don't kill me!
Tron: Why not?
Man#3: Uhhh... Me mercenary. Ooog.
Nigil: (unheld) I hate mercenaries. I can't believe I missed that fight! I woulda been in there,
hack, stab, slash...

They tie the man up and question him further. It seems that he is a mercenary from Marner who was
hired along with his brothers by a half-orc named Karak the Black. Apparently their purpose was to
ambush the party. He doesn't know why.

Tron: Well, I say we kill him.
Soren: We can't do that!

Noise from woods: [thump thump growl]

Norel: Did you hear that?
Nigil: What?

Noise: [thump crash] Rrrrwwwaagggg.

Danic: It's the bear! Let's get moving!

Soren quickly heals the wounded. The horses are too panicked to be ridden, so they have to lead them.
They cut the bindings on the man's legs and he runs away.

Soren: I still say we should have given him a weapon.
Tron: Bah. If we'd left him there he might have distracted the bear.

Bear: [thump thump]

There is a sudden scream from the woods behind them.

Danic: Guess he did distract the bear.
Sapphire: It might have been the other guy.

They travel north for the rest of the night. In the morning, they come to the "bridge" across the river.
A huge tree has fallen across the ravine, forming a narrow and slippery bridge. It looks as though 
it would be really difficult to lead a horse across.

Danic: Look, a pinnacle of Elven engineering!
Tron: Bah.
Norel: At least it doesn't look like something out of a Thomas Kinicaid painting.
Nigil: I'm not leaving my warhorse behind again!
Sapphire: I don't want to walk to Marner.
Norel: It's possible there is another bridge or ford farther up the river. It looks as though
some people have come from downriver and crossed the bridge, and some people have 
crossed the bridge and headed downriver, but there's no traffic to or from the west.
Tron: Wait, I thought we were going north.
Sapphire: Isn't that south?
Danic: I think that we are going east right now.
Norel: At least _I'm_ not lost. There's no traffice from up river.

After some debate, they agree to head upriver and see if they can find another crossing. They rest for a
while, then continue north. However, after about an hour's travel, they come to the top of a hill. Looking
west, they see that the land falls before them into an enormous, flood swollen swamp.

Nigil: I don't want to try and lead a horse through that.

They decide to head back to the coast and try to take a boat to Marner.

Bear: [thump crash]
Norel: Uh-oh.
Sapphire: What's the big deal? Why can't we just fight this thing?
Danic: Do you know what a bear is?
Sapphire: Well, Svirfneblin children play with little furry dolls they call bears. They're kinda cute.
Nigil: This bear probably weighs about 9000 pounds. And it's hungry.
Sapphire: Oh.
Norel: I will use my rangerly magic to mask our travel. We'll try and circle around it.

They do so, and after several hours of travelling are confident that they have lost the bear. At this point
it is dark, and a brief hailstorm sets in and pelts them with hail. They decide to make camp. They are back
near the tree-bridge.

Later, during Tron's watch...

Tron: Nigil, wake up. There's voices and a light across the ravine. I'm gonna go check it out.

The elf sneaks across the bridge and close to the campfire. There, he discovers... the half-orc and man#2!

Man#2: Those guys are tough!
Half-Orc: They'll have to cross this bridge sometime. It's the only way across the river for miles. We'll
ambush them when they're crossing it.

Tron: Heh-heh-heh. (sneaks back and tells the party what he's seen)
Danic: What are we waiting for?

Later that night...

Nigil: [sneak sneak]
Danic: [sneak sneak]
Norel: [sneak sneak]
Tron: [sneak sneak]
Sapphire: [snap] Uh-oh.
Man#2: Hey, wake up!
Half-Orc: Huh?
Danic: VaanDrager!
Nigil: Yaargh! [hack]
Sapphire: Yaaargh! [stab]
Half-Orc: Oh shit!
Tron: Surprise! [backstab, hack, chop, thrust, gore]

The half-orc priest does not even have the opportunity to stand up.

Nigil: He's dead, Tron.
Tron: Umm... I knew that. [poke]
Norel: I love it when a plan comes together.
Man#2: I surrender! I'm the smart one! My name is Nurg, I work for Jorgen Ironhand, and I'm certain
that he would be willing to ransom me!
Nigil: Ransom? Hmmm...

They tie him up and loot the bodies. They find the half-orc had a magic scimitar of orcish make and a very
nice breastplate, as well as a number of coins and jewelry. He also had three letters.

Danic: Ahem. With my magic I will read these letters.

The first letter is a contract between Karak the Black and Jorgen Ironhand for the services of three mercenaries
"not to include the slaughter of women and children". It is dated the 24th of Planting.

Tron: That's about a week after we escaped from the dungeon.

The second letter is written by Garflin Godhater, and is a description of the prisoners who escaped, including
Rognvald and Idne but not Danic or Soren. A reward of 50gp per head is offered.

Nigil: We're worth more than 50gp! I'm insulted!

The third letter is written in an educated hand and is a series of descriptions and sketches of Aran, Rhahid,
Thorwolf, Norel, Nigil, Tron, and Sapphire. It includes sketches, and some brief text.

Danic: ...my master has asked you to be on the lookout for these people. Kill them and you will be well rewarded.
Regards, Geff.

Tron: That bastard!
Norel: That explains a lot.
Sapphire: I noticed that there's no description of Skanda.
Nigil: So they must somehow know that she's dead.
Norel: Probably because "master" is Gabriel, so of course they would know that she was dead.
Danic: I take it that this note means something? Would anyone mind enlightening me?

They spend the night on the Marner side of the river, and the next morning debate what to do with their horses.

Danic: I think we could blindfold them and lead them across the log. We'll only lose a few.
Norel: Ok, but for every horse that falls in we toss a dwarf in.
Soren: Hey! Nobody tosses a dwarf!
Nigil: We don't have enough horses for everyone to ride on this side of the river.
Sapphire: I want to keep my pony! It's always been my dream to own a pony. Even before I had ever seen one.
Norel: We're not going to bring them over and that's final.

The ranger turns the horses and ponies loose.

Norel: Go with words of guidance on you. You are wise beasts and will go to Caerghallen, or to some other place
where you will be happy.
Soren: Bye Bill! [sniff]

The party then heads towards the coast, which they reach the next day. They continue along the coast road and after
a couple days come to a small town.

Innkeeper: Welcome to Fagor Head.
Danic: Rooms for the night, and stables for our horses.
Innkeeper: Sure. Uh, what's that smell?
Tron: Dwarf.
Danic: Oh, and baths. Say, how far is it to Marner?
Innkeeper: Well, it will be several days on foot, or less than a day by boat.
Danic: Well, then, could you get us a boat?
Innkeeper: I'll see what I can do.

The party rests. 

Norel: I wish these people had something to eat other than fish.
Nigil: The crops don't seem to be doing well, and I didn't see many farm animals. It looks as if the winter has
really devastated this land. It almost makes you suspect foul sorcery.

Tron cadges some money from the general fund and goes to the temple of Pholtus.

Tron: Father, I have been watching the skies, and I have some questions. Like, when the red planet is in the horsey,
but it's going backwards, what does that mean? And which star is the north star, the one at the end of the dragon or
the one at the top of the chair. And where do they get the names of these constellations from anyway?
Priest: Ah, my son, I see that you have much to learn...

Tron's eyes glaze over as the priest delivers a massive lecture about astronomy, all the while edging closer to the elf.

Priest: (puts his sweaty arm around the elf's shoulder) ... and that is how we know that it is the seventh of Flocktime.
Tron: It's the sixth.
Priest: No, my son, it is the seventh.
Tron: Ok, it's the seventh. Now get your hands off me or I'll kill you. Here's some money. (leaves)

Meanwhile, in the inn...

Peasant: ... and there's a new cult in Marner, called the Followers of the Eaten Moon. They're pretty weird.
Soren: Hmm...

The next day the party and their horses take passage on a boat to Marner. The captain is surly and not talkative. In the
early afternoon they arrive at Marner, capital of Ratik, jewel of the North, the greatest city north of the Bone March.

Tron: Bellport was bigger.
Norel: Yeah, but this one doesn't have orcs in it.

They land in the city and head first to Jorgen Ironhand's hall. Marner is bustling with activity: barbarians from far North
and sailors from the far South walk its streets. Craftsmen hawk their wares. Longshoremen unload trade ships. Seagulls are
every where and their cries mingle with the pounding of hammers. A large castle overlooks the town from a hill.

Nurg: Jorgen is right this way.

Soon they enter a compound where many men and a few women are lifting weights, practicing at the pell, or sparring. A burly
dwarf wearing a leather mask that covers half of his face is directing the training.

Dwarf: No, no!!! Like this!
Nurg: That's him! Uh, hi boss.
Jorgen: What's going on here, Nurg?
Nurg: Umm, these guys kinda captured me and were hoping for the ransom. We fulfilled the contract, I mean, the guy who hired
us is dead, along with Fazil and Lurg.
Jorgen: All right, who's in charge here?
Tron: Actually, we're an autonomous self-governing collective. Excuse us for a sec.

The party huddles.

Nigil: You can talk to me.
Jorgen: A human? (looks at Danic and winks) Ok, what sort of "ransom" do you want?
Nigil: Some of us need to train, so we were wondering if you could give us a discount.
Jorgen: Hmm, ok. 200 silver.
Nigil: You know, Nurg has become more experienced through fighting us. He's definitely worth more than 200 silver.
Nurg: Yeah.
Jorgen: All right, 400 silver discount. Not a copper penny more.
Nigil: Done. Could you recommend an inn?
Jorgen: You could try the One-eared Pony up the street.
Danic: Say, do you know if the dwarves or humans around here celebrate the festival of Harnekiah? Because I'm itching to
kill some goblins, and...
Jorgen: Festival? Bah.
Sapphire: What's Harnekiah?
Soren: It is the dwarven festival of the cleansing of the mountains. Basically, we kill goblins and then we get drunk. But
it looks like their aren't many goblins or dwarves around here.

The party gets together at the inn and tries to figure out what their next move will be.

Nigil: Where's Tron?
Norel: He said he had stuff to do.
Nigil: What, did he find the brothel?
Danic: Ok, so me and Soren have a separate room, Norel and Nigil will stay in one room, and that leaves... Tron and
Sapphire to share the third room.
Sapphire: I call top bunk!

Meanwhile, Tron has made contact with the Marner thieves guild.

Thief: We'll train you after you prove yourself. Go steal something... of value.

Tron tries to think of someone it would be acceptable for a worshipper of Pholtus to rob. Stealing is wrong in the
all-seeing eyes of Pholtus. There are few sins that the heavenly father dislikes more.

Tron: Hmmm... I know!

Next day...

Norel: So I've decided to learn to "read". I guess in the modern world it's a critical skill if you want to advance.
Nigil: That's right! Being able to read doesn't mean you're a sissy. I mean, I can read.
Tron: Hi guys, say, can I have 100 silver to get a set of thieves tools?
Nigil: Ok, but this is coming out of your share.
Danic: Maybe it's time to divvy up the loot. Also I need some spell components to be able to identify all the magic
items we have.

That night, Tron sneaks back into the inn at three in the morning with a bulging bag of loot.

Tron: [clink clank] What a haul! What a haul!
Sapphire: Zzzzz... [snort]

The party spends the next few weeks training and improving their skills. All except for Danic and Soren.

Danic: I feel that it is not yet time for me to train.

The dwarf spends a lot of time in the library learning about the history and personalities of Ratik and Marner. While
there he overhears an interesting conversation.

Rich Halfling: And I was robbed just a few days ago! They stole all my liquor collection and a letter opener! The town
guard doesn't give us halflings any protection at all!
Guard: Yeah, yeah, we'll look into it. (mutters) Bah, moneylender. Got what he deserved.

Back at the inn:

Nigil: Hey, this is pretty good whiskey. Thanks Tron!
Norel: Gimme another glass!
Tron: Glad you guys like it.
Sapphire: Where'd you get this anyway?
Tron: It, uhh, fell out of a wagon.

Norel, Nigil, and Sapphire work daily on their fighting skills:

Norel hacks a foot-thick wooden pole in half with one blow of his axe.

Jorgen: Not bad, but you follow through too much and leave yourself open.

Nigil spars with a series of the schools finest swordsmen, defeating them one at a time.

Jorgen: No, no, no! Your footwork is all wrong! Like this!

Sapphire benches a huge weight, while three strong men struggle to hold down the other end of the bench.

Jorgen: Ten more reps! Then run two miles!

They sell of most of the jewelry and use some of the money to get the components Danic needs to identify the magic items.
Tron makes out like a bandit and gets a cloak of elvenkind, a magic scimitar, and a magic dagger. Danic gets a couple of
wands, and the others get some potions.

Tron: Hey, what does the writing on this scimitar say?
Danic: Hmm, it is orcish. It says "Seek Blood, Seek Lives, Seek Elves".
Tron: Hmm...
Soren: My god tells me that it is not inherrently evil.
Tron: I'll put it to better use.

Nigil: This magic breastplate won't fit any of us. I want to get it resized.
Jorgen: Hmm, there is a half-orc smith who lives outside of town. He is the only smith around here who
might be able to do that kind of work.
Sapphire: I want some armor too!

Nigil and Sapphire head to the half-orc's smithy. On the way out of town, they hear a mother threatening
her misbehaving son with a boogeyman named "Toadstool".

Mother: And he'll open up his mouth and gobble you down all at once!

They find the smith hard at work. He humbly-dressed half-orc. Oddly enough, his eyes are of two different colors.

Nigil: Hi, can you resize this for me?
Smith: Bah, it's pretty poor workmanship but I guess I can. Anything else?
Nigil: Yeah, I want a really nice longsword.
Smith: Hmm, I might have something.

He tosses a rough-looking longsword up to Nigil.

Smith: That's the least of my work. Childs play. Five hundred silver. Come back in a few days.
Sapphire: Hey, I want stuff too!
Smith: Huh? Where... oh.
Sapphire: I want a breastplate.
Smith: Hmm... ok.
Sapphire: And could you put a picture of a badger on it?
Smith: Decoration? You want decoration on your armor? Don't you know that it will just catch the point of
a spear, instead of letting it slide off? I never decorate my armor. Ptah!
Sapphire: Fine.

They get their armor and the longsword, and it is all of good quality.

Nigil: That guy's rude, but he knows what he's doing.

Danic goes up to the castle. For a nominal fee, he's able to convince the librarian, Yonic, to present
him with a life time membership to the castles very extensive library. He spends much time reviewing 
local history, but doesn't learn anything not already known by the party.

Tron and Norel want longbows, but the party doesn't have enough money to buy them.

Norel: I've started on a bow, but I don't know how long it will take me to finish it.

While the party is in Marner, St. Cuthbert's Day is celebrated. The people of the city seem to particularly like
St. Cuthbert. There is even a small statue of him recessed in a wall near their hotel.

Nigil: That priest in the keep, Father Abercrombie, wasn't he a priest of this Cuthbert guy?
Norel: Oh yeah.
Tron: I think Pholtus and St. Cuthbert don't get along.

To everyone's surprise, the dread date of Walpurgisnacht passes uneventfully. The first four days of Wealsun
are the Festival of the Blinding Light, an important occurence for Pholtus worshippers.

Priest: ...heretics, thieves, murderers, evil sorcerors, shameless women, usurers, orcs, and all others who
are false in the eyes of Pholtus shall be cast to the ground, and the faithful will put on spiked shoes and
trample on them, yea, as the grape is trodden so shall these evildoers be trodden. And the faithful shall rejoice.
Hail Pholtus!
Congregation: Hail Pholtus!
Tron: zzzz... huh?

On the evening of the tenth of Wealsun, or thereabouts, the party is heading back to their inn.

Danic: ... so the mayor of this town is Sim, the captain of the guard is Ugoth, but he's not a very good leader. The
old captain of the guard committed suicide the day after the king's children were killed. There's a half-elf mage
called Kyrou the Magnificent who lives here, and a guy named Yonic is the chairman of the council. Goloda is the
treasurer. That's the important citizens of Marner.
Norel: Well, as soon as we're done training we can head back to the islands and see what the situation there is. Assuming
that the orcs don't come through the pass and attack Marner while we're here.
Nigil: I wish we could get Keoish brandy.
Tron: What are you looking at me for?

Suddenly they see two figures struggling in a lit window. One of them is thrown out of the window and lies groaning
on the street.

Danic: That is Goloda, the treasurer of the council!
Sapphire: And I've seen the other guy too! He was at the training hall hiring mercenaries the other day! This doesn't
look good.
Nigil: Let's get him!

TO BE CONTINUED...