Episode 19
"The Rhenee of the 'Osprim's Will'"
(c) 2000, Matt Grossman and J. Sage Schreiner

Tron Malkaszar, an irreverant elf -- Matt Grossman
Norel Bolderdash, hulking woodsman of the Adri forest -- Tom Morin
Nigil Palom, noble from a far-distant land -- Kevin Osborn
Aran, a newly remade Paladin from Tenh -- AJ Drexel
Tika, a courageous gnome -- Corey Paganucci
Rhahid, a mysterious spell-crafter -- Eric Kruller 
All others -- Sage Schreiner

Tron and Norel have decided to break into the Scarvo mansion in
Bellport.

Tron: And kill everyone there!  Maybe.
Desh: Foooood.

Tron, Norel, and Rhahid set up a base in the Dragon of Corusk Inn, and
wait until midnight.  Then Rhahid makes the two warriors invisible,
and they set out on their mission.  Avoiding the orc patrols in the
lower city, they come to the wall surrounding the high city, where the
mansion is.

Tron: The top of this wall is covered with sharp spikes.  We'll go
over one of the gates.
Norel: How about this one?
Tron: Ok, give me a boost...
Norel: Where's your foot?
Tron: Over there... no, there!
Norel: Here?
Tron: That's... oooog... not my foot.
Norel: Sorry.  This is it, right? [boost]
Tron: Ok, I'm on top of the gate.  Now give me your hand.
Norel: Here... no, that's my nose!  Oww!
Tron: Quiet! The guards might hear!

Meanwhile, inside the guardhouse:

Guard1: [rattle rattle] Curse you! You killed my wardancers!
Guard2: [rattle rattle] Damn! My skaven just routed.

Tron: Or maybe not.

Once safely over the gate, the adventurers continue stealthily to the
mansion.  This is a large two-story building, apparently built around
a courtyard.  The windows on the bottom floor are too narrow to slip
through, and the ones on the top floor are barred.  There is a balcony
at one end of the house, built above the stables.  A tall watchtower
is built into one corner of the house.  They can hear a guard walking
on the balcony, and also guards talking in one of the ground floor
rooms.

Guard: Mumble mumble Lord Hook mumble gone north mumble

Norel: Lord Hook, huh?  Sounds like this is the right place.
Tron: I'll just pick the lock on the servant's entrance. [pick pick]
Umm, it's, uhhh, glued shut.
Norel: How about the balcony?
Tron: No, boost me up.  Those grills on the second floor are hinged
and locked.

Norel boosts Tron up.

Tron: This should be easy... damn, I need a 13/16ths and I only have a
19mm. We'll try the balcony.

Once Tron gets up on the balcony, he sees a lone guard, pacing around
the edge.  Tron tries to sneak up behind him, but trips over a potted
plant.

Tron: [crash] Why would you put a plant in a jar anyway?
Guard: Hey, who's there!  I know you're there...
Tron: (backstabs the guard, becoming visible)
Guard: Urk... ugh...
Tron: [stabs the guard a couple more times and beheads him]
Guard: [thud]
Tron: Hopefully nobody else heard that. (goes to the edge of the
balcony)
Norel: Why are you visible?
Tron: It's a long story.  Grab my hand and I'll pull you up.  Don't
mind the blood.

From the balcony, they have the choice of picking the lock on the door
leading into the house, or climbing up onto the roof.  They climb
onto the roof and discover that the mansion is indeed built around a
courtyard.  There is a balcony running along the second floor level,
a pool in the middle of the courtyard, and several statues.

Norel: I guess Scarvo likes statues of naked women.
Tron: The sleeping quarters are probably on that side, away from the
stables.

They climb down onto the balcony and sneak around to the door that
Tron estimates leads to the sleeping quarters.  From an open window
they can hear the sound of snoring.

Tron: This must be it. [pick pick]  Hoody hoo!

They enter a corridor.  A barred window at one end looks out onto an
alleyway.  There is a door on the left side of the passage, from
behind which comes snoring.  There is a passage running to the right.

Tron: I'll just pick the lock on the bedroom door and...[sigh]
Norel: Well, we could climb in through the window...

They head down to the end of the corridor.  As they reach it, they
hear a cry of alarm from the guards, followed by the sound of running
feet.

Tron: Norel, shut the door!
Norel: (shuts the door, pulling it off its hinges in the process)
Whoops.  Guess I don't know my own strength.  (tries to prop it up)

They move to the balcony and prepare to climb in through the bedroom
window.

Elderly Female Voice from Bedroom: What's going on out there?

A guard appears at the far end of the courtyard and stares
suspiciously towards the characters.

Norel: (still invisible, climbs up onto the roof)
Tron: (hides in shadows)

About half-a-dozen fully armed and armored guards appear at the far
end of the courtyard and start to move towards the bedroom, swords and
crossbows at the ready.

Tron: (jumps up onto the roof) Run for it!
Guard1: There's one! [twang]
Guard2: Shoot to kill! [twang]

After a brief chase, Tron and Norel evade their pursuers.  By this
time the guards at the gates have been alerted, and so the adventurers
have to climb over the wall in order to escape from the upper city.
As rosy-fingered dawn is lighting the sky in the east, the heroes
return to the inn.

Rhahid: [yawn] So how did it go?
Tron: I don't want to talk about it.
Norel: But we learned that Scarvo and Lord Hook, aka Hastern, are
working together.  And someone, maybe Scarvo himself, has gone
north.  So we're going in the right direction.

The party leaves their horses with the church of Pholtus and prepares
to embark on Queeg's ship, the 'Osprin's Will'.

Tron: Farewell, Barringer, you noble steed.
Nigil: [snif] My horse didn't die!
Aran: Are you sure that we can't take my heavy warhorse with us?
Maybe we could all pick it up and carry it onto the ship? It's lighter than
it looks...
Party: No!

Queeg: Welcome aboard! (vomits over the rail and goes below)
Rhahid: Well, I can see that this is going to be an interesting
voyage.
Nigil: (counting crew and passengers) ...nope, we need another
boat.  It would suck if we hit an iceberg or something and there
weren't enough lifeboats for everyone.
Tron: You mean we would have to save the crew?
Aran: I think getting another boat is an excellent idea. Champions of
Hieroneous don't float.

The party buys another boat, and the "Osprim's Will" sets forth into
the ocean.

The first day is pleasant sailing in cool, late fall weather.  The
ship sails always in sight of the coast.  Queeg, the captain, spends
most of the time drunk in his cabin.  The first mate, Cormak, runs the
ship.  He is a competent sailor and navigator, but a poor commander.
Other notable members of the crew are the purser Killik and his wife
Maggie; Arlo, a Rhenee sailor; Bonden, an old man; and Beansworth, a
fat and unreliable looking fellow.  Brown, the carpenter's mate, and
Nish, another sailor, round out the crew.  There are also a ship's cat
and a nameless ship's boy.

On the second day out from Bellport:

Nigil: Ooooh, I feel sick.
Jola: Nigil, someone has stolen my necklace.
Nigil: Hmm... talk to Tron.
Jola: You mean Tron stole it?
Nigil: I hadn't thought of that. Talk to him anyway. Oooogh...

Jola goes and talks to Tron:

Jola: And I was positive I put it right there, but when I looked, it
was gone!  And I've looked all over our... quarters... and I can't find
it.
Tron: Given that our quarters are some hammocks slung across the
bilge, I think it's highly possible that someone stole it.  And I bet
I know who.

Tron goes in search of the ship's boy, who is torturing the cat.

Boy: Fuckin' cat bit me!
Tron: You stole something from our party.  Hand it over!
Boy: Fuck you, scum sucking elf.  I didn't steal nothin'
Tron: [shing]
Boy: Ahh!  Help!  Murder! (tries to burrow into the cargo in the hold)
Tron: (grabs the boy's ankle and pulls him out)
Boy: I didn't do nothin'!
Tron: I don't believe you!
Cormak: What's going on down there?
Tron: This brat stole something from our party.  He won't confess.
Cormak: Oh yeah? (grabs Boy)  You better give it back right now! (Begins
to choke Boy)
Boy: [Urk] (Begins to slowly turn purple and claw ineffectually at Cormak's
muscular, sea-strengthened hands).
Cormak: We know you did it.
Boy: [gack]
Cormak: Speak up you little rat. (releases his hold)
Boy: I didn't do it!  It wasn't my fault!  I threw it overboard!  I
swear, I didn't steal anything!
Tron: Bah.  Maybe he didn't.
Cormak: Probably it was the Rhenee.  Those guys are all thieves. (drops
Boy)
Tron: Yeah, I've heard that.

Tron explains the situation to the rest of the party.

Tron: ...and that necklace is party treasure!
Sapphire: What is a Rhenee?
Nigil: They are a race of humans who live on boats.  They have darker
skins and curly hair, and a lot of them are thieves.
Aran: They're good musicians though.  It's like they have natural
rhythm.
Rhahid: Hey, you shouldn't judge someone by the color of his skin, you
know.
Tron: You shouldn't?  What about Drow?
Nigil: I'm not prejudiced. Some of best friends are Rhenees -- my wet nurse
was Rhenee, and I remember an epic about a Rhenee water carrier serving a
Keoish regiment, "Dunga Gin".
Norel: Aaaanyway...
Skanda: I could cast a spell tomorrow to locate the necklace.

The  next  day,  Skanda casts  the  spell,  but  fails to  locate  the
necklace.

Nigil: Perhaps whoever took it threw it overboard.
Rhahid: A lead-lined box would also stop the spell from working.
Jola: I want my necklace back!
Gabriel: Waaaaa!

Over the next two days, a bottle of perfume belonging to Nigil and
Rhahid's lightning bolt wand are also stolen.

Rhahid: I must have my wand back, guys!  It is critical!
Nigil: I'm just wondering who would steal a bottle of perfume.

Skanda attempts to locate the items.  She cannot find the wand, but
detects that the perfume bottle is in Cormak's quarters.

Tron: That bastard!  Let's deal with him now!
Aran: And who'll steer the ship?
Norel: It might have been planted there by the real thief.
Nigil: I say we keep this quiet until the end of the voyage.  Then we
can tear this ship apart looking for our stuff.

Also in this period of time, the ship's cat goes missing.

Aran: I can't imagine where it could have gotten to.
Desh: Urp. (rubs his stomach)

Shipboard life takes on an easy, predictable rhythm.  The ship stays
within sight of the coast.  When the wind is favorable, the ship's
square sail can be used; when the wind is unfavorable, all the
able-bodied men on board must man the sweeps.  But mostly, crew and
passengers sit around and look for ways to amuse themselves.

Nish: Dammit, you won again!
Brown: Oi.
Beansworth: Heh heh heh.

Bonden: Once I sailed down to the southern forests I did -- strange lands,
they were. Decay and life and flying goblins and blah blah blah...
Tron: Shut up, old fool.

Boy: Ahh!  Help!  He's trying to kill me!
Desh: (brandishes a knife)
Aran: No, Desh!  You don't eat other people!  Have some more salt beef
if you're that hungry!
Boy: Aaaa! (runs)
Desh: (grins)

Sapphire: I never could have imagined that even the surface world held
such strange beauties as this "ocean".
Skanda: Away from the cities and haunts of men, the stars can be seen
clearly. So it has always been. Long, long ago my people came across these
waters.

Norel: (fishing off the stern) I wish we were on land again.

Desh has been spending time in the bows of the ship. He is clearly awed by
immense expansiveness of ocean and sky, and the new feel of a fresh breeze
against his cheek, and the deep roll of the swell under the keel -- far different
from his experiences in the perpetual night of the cave where he was born.

Desh: Pretty blue. Sea. Wind. Pretty sky. 

Gabriel: Waaaah!
Jola: There there, it'll be dinner time soon.
Nigil: He has your eyes, puddy-wuddy boy. Gootchy-gootch-goo.

Rhahid: I wish that there was someone on this ship who was remotely on
my intellectual level.
Tron: So, run that part about how boats float by me again.  Why
doesn't the air just rush out when you open the hatches?
Rhahid: [sigh]

Arlo: (quietly carves a piece of scrimshaw)
Cormak: What are you doing loafing around!  There's oakum that needs
picking! Getup you Rhenee son of a whore.
Arlo: (eyes Cormak dangerously and twirls his razor sharp knife)

Killik: (enjoying fresh eggs and goat's milk for dinner, out of sight
of the rest of the crew)

Queeg: (drunk in his cabin)

Four days out of Bellport, Beansworth disappears.  Nobody claims to
know what happened to him, but the crew seem to have divvied up his
possessions among themselves.

Brown: (Shrugs) Kurell always has his price. He cheated at cards.

Nish: Whale! Off the port bow! Whale ho! Thar she blows!
Bonden: They be horned-whales. Means a storms coming. From the south.

The next day, a ferocious storm blows up out of the south.

Cormak: Batten down the hatches!  All hands on deck!
Tron: So the air doesn't get out. I get it.

The ship is tossed like a splinter on the surface of the angry ocean.
It is as if the sea gods themselves, in rage against the pride of Men,
seek to drown the impious mortals who profane the waters with their
presence.  Everyone on board must help, or the ship is doomed.

Nigil: Ooooh, I feel sick. [barf]
Jola: (cowers)
Cormak: (struggles with the tiller)

At the height of the storm, the mainsheet parts and the sail blows
free and starts tearing itself to pieces.  Without a sail to keep the
ship pointed downwind, she could fall into a trough in the waves and
be swamped.

Cormak: All hands aloft!  All hands, or she's done for!
Aran: (Wrestles with the tillar with Cormak)
Arlo: (runs up the ratlines)
Bonden: Heh. I'm too old. I remember a storm like this is '43. Destroyed
the overking's fleets it did... I wasn't but a cabin boy. Waves higher than
the great-ship's masts and blah blah blah...
Brown: (falls from the yardarm) Aaaa! [crunch]
Sapphire: (Begins dragging Brown across the storm-washed deck towards
Aran).
Tron: (starts climbing the ratlines)
Nish: No way man, I'm not going up there!  No way!
Brown: (Coughs blood and dies)

Norel starts to climb the mast, but is suddenly caught by a wave that
sweeps the deck of the ship.  As the water flows away, he can be seen
clinging onto the railing with one hand.

Sapphire: Hang on, Norel!

She runs to help him, but is caught by another wave and swept into the
scuppers.  As the cold green water sweeps past her, she braces
herself, grabs onto Norel's wrist, and with a back-straining heave
pulls the ranger onboard.

Norel: Thanks. (He lashes himself to the mast)

Meanwhile, Nish has been trying to hide belowdecks.

Rhahid: What are you doing here?  Get up there and save the ship!
Nish: Game over, man!  Game over!
Rhahid: If you do not go up there, I will turn you into a toad.
Nish: Ok, ok, I'm going! (hesitates)
Rhahid: Let me see, what page is that spell on...
Nish: (runs on deck)

Tron and Arlo struggle with the sail.

Tron: So what are we trying to do anyway?
Arlo: (busy furling his end of the sail)
Tron: Ohhh, I can do that.
Nish: Toad, shmoad. (Beginst to help furling).

After several false starts, the elf figures out how to furl the sail,
and soon it is secured, the mainsheet spliced and enough sail for steerage
loosed. The ship weathers the storm successfully, and
the next day finds the ship battered but afloat, drifting on a
seemingly placid ocean.  The crew begins repairing the damage, but the
loss of two sailors slows their efforts.

Suddenly Cormak and Arlo draw their knives and start fighting.

Aran: Hold on! (steps in between them)  This is no time to fight!
Everyone needs to cooperate if we are to reach Ratik alive!
Arlo: He called me the bastard son of a whore! (walks away)
Aran: (grabs Cormak) Do you really think that it's a good idea to try
and kill the only competent sailor you have left?
Cormak: (stabs Aran)
Aran: ...
Cormak: (deeply stabs Aran again)
Aran: Are you done?
Cormak: Let... go... of... me.
Aran: (lets go) Think about what I said. (heals himself)
Cormak: (walks away)

Aran goes and finds Arlo.

Aran: You shouldn't let him get on your nerves like that.
Arlo: Easy for you to say.
Aran: Why are you working for him then?
Arlo: Not many ships will even hire a Rhenee.  This was the best berth
I could find.
Aran: Don't you have any other talents?  Singing, dancing... I thought
Rhenee were good at that stuff.
Arlo: ...

Bonden: The salt beef has all gone bad!  We'll have to eat our own
legs!
Tron: You mean it was good before?
Nigil: How can salt beef go bad?
Aran: It has been in the casks too long.
Bonden: Looks like there's some kind of problem with the casks.  If
Killik wasn't buying the cheapest stuff he could find and pocketing
the difference, we'd have decent food on this tub. I remember the
time, back in '57 -- we were on blockade duty -- when...
Tron: Shut up.
Skanda: Fortunately, I can create enough food to feed us magically.

Soon...

Boy: What is this stuff?
Rhahid: It is called tofu.
Boy: It... wobbles.
Cormak: Just eat it. Or starve.

Nigil: Say, Tron, while everyone is distracted by the tofu, you could
sneak into the purser's cabin.  He seems like a pretty unscrupulous
guy, I'll bet he might have stolen our stuff.
Tron: Good idea!

Tron searches the purser's cabin, but does not find any of the stolen
stuff.  However, the purser's wife sees him leaving the aftercastle.

The next day a heavy fog descends.  The ship drifts across the
windless, silent sea.

Bonden: The water's bad!  We'll have to drink our own urine!  Again.
Jola: Yuck.
Skanda: Pholtus will provide.
Aran: I knew something like this was going to happen...

The ship is fogged in the next day as well.  It is also extremely
cold, and getting colder.

Tron: It's almost as if the cold is coming from a certain
direction... there, off the right-hand side of the ship.
Bonden: You mean "starboard"?
Tron: Whatever.
Bonden: Bah. Landlubber.
Aran: No..wait, I thought starboard was left...

A massive white form looms out of the fog.

Boy: Iceberg! Iceberg off the starboard bow!
Cormak: Strange... it's almost as if we're being drawn towards it...
Arlo: Hey, there's something in the water!

There is a sudden thumping against the hull of the ship.

Cormak: Man the sweeps!  We'll row away!

The party rushes to the railings.  Several pale, humanoid forms are
clearly visible.  They have attached ropes to the ship and are
swimming with her towards the iceberg.

Tron: Now all those hours spent bowfishing pay off... [twang twang]
Figure: (sinks, reddening the water with its blood)
Norel: Try to tow us, will you? [twang]
Figure: Blub blub blub...
Nigil: (grabs a gaff and stabs a humanoid that is chopping at the
rudder with a crude ax) Get away!
Rhahid: (readies his wand of magic missiles) Watch this, guys...eat
flaming death, minions of evil!  [bzort bzort bzort]
Figure: (sinks)
Rhahid: Hah!  Now if I had my wand of lighting bolts, then you'd
really see something! Hint, hint.
Jola: Hey, there's water coming in down here!
Bonden: We're doomed! Doomed!
Nish: (Hides)
Norel: No we're not.  Row for the iceberg, we can repair the ship
there!
Cormark: We're sinking quickly -- everyone row! Row for the iceberg
or we die!

While the rest of the passengers and crew row for the iceberg, Tron
searches Queeg's cabin.

Queeg: Hey, yushawanna [hic] shomthing to drink?
Tron: Unlike some people, I want to stay alive.

Nigil: Any luck?
Tron: Nope, none of our stuff was there either.
Nigil: Then it must be in the mate's cabin after all.  We'll have to
wait for an opportunity to search it.

The ship grinds against the iceberg and stops.  It is beached on a
shelf of ice that lies beneath a steep bluff.

Aran: So, uhh, now what?
Sapphire: That ice looks pretty slippery.  Maybe we could attach ropes
to the bluff and pull the ship farther up from the water...

At that moment a humanoid appears on the cliff and hurls a javelin.

Maggie: Urk! [thud]
Nigil: Jola, stay below decks!
Jola: But it's wet down here!
Rhahid: Interesting, this has an iron head. Perhaps these beings are
more civilized than they seem.

The figure is gone before any of the archers can return fire.  As the
ship sits there, the humanoids continue to hurl javelins.  The party
and the crew take cover as best they can on the deck of the ship.

Aran: By Hieroneous, this long range fighting infuriates me!  Where
are the nails?
Arlo: Forward, on the starboard side of the hold.
Aran: Right!  (runs below and starts searching on the left-hand side
of the hold)
Arlo: (shakes his head and goes to help the paladin)

Sapphire: Enough of this! (she leaps over the side, using her sword to
steady herself, and starts moving slowly across the ice towards the
cliff)
Norel: Right with you! (he tosses a grappling hook into the cliff,
leaps from the ship, and starts pulling himself over the ice and up
the cliff)
Tron: (trades shots with the humanoids) I think I winged one!
Rhahid: Let me show you how it is done. [bzort bzort bzort]
Humanoid: [railing death]
Rhahid: Yes! I have the power!

Several flaming javelins land on the deck.  Fortunately, because the
hold is half-full of water, the crew can easily pull up buckets and
put them out.  Still, several people are burned trying to pull the
surprisingly heavy spears out of the deck.

Tron: Ouch!  This thing is really in deep!
Cormak: (pours a bucket of water on the fire, extinguishing it)
Nigil: I want to fight!
Rhahid: Allow me to help you. (casts Fly on the fighter)
Nigil: Yes!  Here I come! (swoops off the ship, grabs Sapphire, and
starts flying up the cliff towards the humanoids)
Sapphire: (hangs on to Nigil for dear life)

Aran: (trying to make himself a pair of spiked boots) Dammit, I'm a
paladin, not a cobbler!
Arlo: Maybe you should do it this way... oh, never mind.

Norel: (pulling himself up the cliff) Huh?
Humanoid: (cuts the rope Norel is using)
Norel: Uh oh. (slides down the cliff and fetches up against the side
of the ship)  So much for that idea.

Nigil and Sapphire appear over the edge of the cliff and see a small
group of humanoids gathered around a fire.

Nigil: It's payback time!
Sapphire: Put me down!

TO BE CONTINUED...