Episode 10 "The Missing Girl"
by Matt Grossman and J. Sage Schreiner
(c) 2000

Tron Malkaszar, sucidely brave high elf -- Matt Grossman
Norel Bolderdash, hulking woodsman of the Adri forest -- Tom Morin
Nigil Palom, noble from a far-distant land -- Kevin Osborn
Aran, a beefy Paladin from Tenh -- AJ Drexel
Vuz, an engimatic druid -- Corey Paganucci
Vivek, a very tall elf with a large sword -- Sarah Stewart
Lynndor, Paladin of the god of love and knowledge -- Chris Hedberg
All others -- Sage Schreiner

In an inn in Tyrluk's Keep, the party has been reunited with two
companions.  Over pints of bitter in the snug room, they bring each other
up to speed.

Vivek: So then we helped out with this peasant revolt, but it went
badly, so we decided to join up with you guys.
Lynndor: Most of the peasants were dead by the time it was
over.
Norel: We told Captain Goldog about that cave, and he sent some
workmen to brick it up.
Tron: I still say we should have kept it secret.
Aran: Let's not start that again!
Skanda: I am afraid of the horror we found within. I sensed great evil.

There is a commotion outside.  The party goes to investigate.

Peasants: A witch!  A witch!  Burn her!
Witch: A pox on your first born, you... waaagh! [fwoomph]
Peasant: Did you hear that?  She cursed me!  She must have been a
witch!
Other Peasant: She had a black cat... well, it was sort of gray really,
but it's black now!
Aran: Hmmm... I wonder if justice has truly been done here.
Tron: That was cool.

They go back to the inn.  There is a guy who looks like a hairy
weasel-frog in the common room.

Vivek: Did you see that guy in the common room who looks like he
pisses in his leather pants?  He fits the description of a guy who was
asking about you in Espar's keep.  He had two friends.  They were all
really ugly.
Tron: (gets up)
Norel: Stop! (grabs Tron)
Tron: Come on guys!
Norel: We shouldn't talk to him.
Lynndor: Why not?

Nigil goes up to the innkeeper's wife, who is tending bar.

Nigil: Do you know anything about that guy in the corner?
Wife: Well... he paid for his drink with this. (holds up a freshly
minted silver piece)
Nigil: He must have come from the south then. (takes the silver piece
and gives her an old one)
Wife: Two! Those are worth two!

Meanwhile the guy has left the inn.  Tron and Aran mount their horses
and follow, catching up to him several hundred yards outside town.
The rest of the party has followed on foot.

Aran: Excuse me, sir.
Man: (points to his throat)
Aran: Are you saying that you have the flu?
Man: (points to his throat)
Tron: Maybe he had his tongue cut out.

Suddenly arrows fly from ambush, striking Tron and Aran.  Two archers
are visible, one on each side of the road.

Tron: The wound... it burns!
Aran: Poison! To weak for me.

The mysterious man whips off his cloak and draws his sword.

Aran: Not so fast, you cur! (grapples the assassin)
Tron: Hi-ho, Gilead! (spurs to where one of the archers is, misses, and
falls from his horse as the poison burns in his veins) Urk.
Assassin#1: (breaks Aran's hold and rides down the road)

The other two assassins mount their horses and ride after their
leader.  The rest of the party comes running up.

Skanda: Blah blah blah get up.
Tron: I'll kill them all!  After the world stops spinning around...

As they head back to town the assassins suddenly appear behind them,
charging.

Nigil: Oh yeah [twang] Missed.
Vivek: [twang] Damn.
Norel: [twang] Oh yeah.
Assassin#1: Urk! [thud]
Norel: The name's Ash.  Housewares.
Nigil: Huh?
Norel: Never mind.

Other assassins: (flee as one of their number falls, riddled with arrows)
Nigil: They haven't gone away, they're waiting in ambush just around
the corner.

Several minutes later, the party decides on a plan.  The two paladins
will charge down the road while the rest of the party goes through the
woods and takes the assassins from the flank.  Tron will give the
signal to attack.  Tron will also loan his horse, Gilead, to Lynndor.

Tron: (sneaks through woods, sees assassins, and shoots one) Get 'em!

Aran: (charging down the road, he notices a rope strung at neck height
and manages to duck under it)  For Hieronyous!
Lynndor: (doesn't notice the rope) For Lydi... [krong]... oogh.  Stars.

The party makes short work of one assassin, but the other mounts and
rides away.  Aran and Lynndor pursue him, while Norel and Nigil set
about taming the captured horses.

Nigil: Nice horsie... whoah!
Norel: No, this is how you do it.  There you are, girl.  Take this
one.
Nigil: Thanks.

Vuz and Tron examine the body of the first assassin.

Tron: He had his tongue, but maybe he didn't have his voicebox...
Vuz: What's taking them so long?  They should have got that guy by now..

Meanwhile...

Assassin#2: Gynargh! [crunch]
Lynndor: Urk.
Aran: Eat steel, poisoner! [clang]
Assassin#2: [cleave]
Aran: Ooogh.  Dirt...pleasant...
Nigil: (rides up) Not so fast!
Assassin#2: (beheads Nigil's horse with one stroke)
Nigil: Not again! [stab]
Assassin#2: (falls, finally)

This last assassin had a nice two-handed sword, which the party gives
to Aran.  He also has a suit of plate mail, which Nigil takes.  They
bandage him and bring him back to the inn.

Vivek: You could heal him with that magic cup...
Tron: Yeah... I'll find out who sent this guy.  I'll need pliers, some
wooden splints, some thin wire, and that magic cup.
Aran: Umm... I'll just be... leaving... then.

Everyone leaves except Nigil, Tron, and the prisoner.  Several hours
later...

Tron: ...this little piggy had none, and _this_ little piggy
went...[crunch]
Assassin#2: Aaaagh! (passes out)
Innkeeper's wife: Could you keep it down in there?  The other
customers are getting sick.
Nigil: Yes, yes, we'll clean up the blood too.
Tron: It's no good.  This guy's tough.

Vivek arrives.

Vivek: Let me. (casts a spell)
Assassin#2: Wow, you're my best friend.
Tron: That's cheating!

The prisoner gladly tells them that he and his companions were
half-orc assassins hired to kill the party.  They were offered 1000
silver pieces each by a man in black and a woman in red.  They were to
meet them at a church in Bellport in four weeks time to collect the
reward.

Norel: Man in black, woman in red... hey, it's those priests from the caves!  The
ones that got away!
Nigil: People should know when they are conquered!
Aran: They must die!
Tron: Hey, that's my line.
Tella: I got rich last time... let's try 'em again.

Vivek: (to prisoner) Now you're going to go down to the keep and turn
yourself in.  You've been a bad man.
Prisoner: I've been a bad man... er... half-orc. I love you Vivek.
Vivek: Get off.

After seeing to the hanging of the prisoner, the party continues with
their training. Norel goes into the woods to commune with nature.
Two weeks pass.

Nigil: So it seems that those guys they sent to brick up that cave
never came back.
Tron: I knew it!
Aran: Let's go finish this thing.

They ride out to the haunted valley.  Once they leave the farmland and
head into the mountains they notice no signs of animal life.

Vuz: I don't like this...

When they reach the valley, they find the cave entrance half bricked
up, and the bodies of the workers scattered around.  Some are inside
the cave, and the crystal has been broken.

Aran: Hmm...mostly they killed each other, but these two don't have
any marks on them.  Odd.
Lynndor: There's nothing we can do here.

They go back to Tyrluk's keep, report, and decide to continue on to
Shalister's keep, the capital of the region and home of Baron
Shalister, ruler of this land.  After a brief and uneventful journey
they arrive, and soon are in the presence of Shalister himself.

Shalister: So you're the ones in that song?  I like men who kill
orcs.
Vivek: The song exaggerates our abilities.
Shalister: Anyway, I'd like it if you could join me for dinner.

They are shown to quarters in the keep.

Tella: I don't like this place.
Skanda: They seem disciplined, anyway.
Lynndor: All they do here is prepare for war.  There is no place for
art or culture in this fortress.
Aran: They will keep the letter of their word, but not the intent.
Nigil: These guys are screwed up.
Tron: I think they're kind of cool.
Vuz: (thinks of the trees of his homeland)

The banquet is a massive affair.  Shalister himself sits at the high
table, with a priest of Hextor by his side.

Aran: (glares at priest of Hextor)
Priest of Hextor: (glares at Aran)

The rest of the diners sit at tables arranged along the sides of the
room.  Entertainment is provided in the center of the U-shape formed
by the tables.  Most of the diners are Shalister's warriors.  The iron
discipline they displayed earlier in the day is almost completely
gone.

Lynndor: I wonder if they will have music.  Perhaps I could play my
lute and...
MC: Gentlemen and... ladies... for your viewing pleasure... a
re-enactment of the great victories of Tuerny the Merciless!
Lynndor: Ooh, I love history.
MC: Behold... the cowardly and despicable Flan!

A mob of unarmed slaves and prisoners is herded into the banquet chamber.

MC: And now, our ancestors, the invincible warriors of Aerdi!

Heavily armed gladiators rush into the room and cut down the
prisoners.  Some of the diners join in.

Lynndor: I feel sick...
Tron: This rocks!
MC: And now, nude female wrestling!

And so the night goes on.  As the drink flows and the mood becomes
wilder, the warriors of Shalister lose all restraint.

Servant: (spills wine on an officer)
Officer: (kills the servant)
Other officer: That's the way to show 'em! (kills another servant)

The crowd cheers.

Vivek: (to an officer) How often does Shalister have these parties?
Officer: Oh, about two, three times a week.
Aran: (glares at priest of Hextor)
Priest of Hextor: (glares at Aran)

A number of warrior now fight duels.  Shalister himself enters the
arena barehanded and lays out several fully armed combatants.

Tron: I thought these guys were uptight before, but they sure know how
to throw a party.
Soldier: Bah, pansy elf! I challenge you, little half-man. Pick your weapon.
Tron: (grabs up a leg of mutton and hits the soldier with it)
Soldier: (draws a knife and stabs Tron)

Amid cheers and cries, the two combatants are shoved into the center
of the room.  Shalister watches with interest.  Bets are made.

Nigil: I put 40 silver on the elf!
Vuz: 100 on the elf!
Tron: I put 40 on me!
Soldier: Take that! [stab]
Tron: Ow! [slug]
Soldier: Ooof! [slice]
Tron: (clobbers the soldier with his leg of lamb so hard it breaks)
Whoops. (tosses it to a wench in the audience and grabs a tankard of
ale)
Wench: [bonk] Ow!
Soldier: Die, elf! [stab]
Tron: Oh yeah?  Take that! [clong]
Soldier: Ugh. [thump]
Crowd: (cheers wildly) Tron!  Tron!  Tron!  Tron!
Tron: (loving it)
Shalister: (tosses Tron a pouch of silver)
Officer: (to Tron) After the dinner, Shalister would like to meet with
you and your companions in his quarters.

The festivities continue, getting more and more depraved...

Tella: What's that man doing with the... yuck.
Skanda: We're leaving.
Aran: Allow me to escort you ladies to your quarters.
Lynndor: I'll escort you too.
Vivek: I'm leaving as well.
Tron: I'll stay a while.  I want to see the gnome bowling.

Later that night, the party goes to Shalister's quarters.  As they
stand outside, they hear an argument going on inside.  After a few
minutes the priest of Hextor storms out.

Aran: (ignores priest of Hextor)
Priest of Hextor: (ignores Aran)
Adjutant: You can come in now.

They enter.

Shalister: Glad to see you.  I have a mission I would like you to
perform.  A girl has disappeared in one of the outlying villages.
Normally I wouldn't worry about something like this, but one of my
officers was courting her, and I don't want suspicion to fall on him.
I'd like you to investigate this and find out what's going on.
Vivek: Why not have your men investigate?
Shalister: There's an obvious conflict of interest.  I'll offer a
reward, plus my gratitude.
Vuz: A reward? More of those little silver discs? Sounds good to me.

The party decides to accept this mission.

Nigil:  Oh, one more thing, there was this crystal...

The next day, after a late start, they ride to the village of
Caermor.  "Cluster of shacks" is a more appropriate name.  They
investigate and talk to various locals...

Pub wench: Missing girl?  You mean Gwendolyn, Darien's daughter.
Yeah, that's a shame.  I didn't know anything about an officer,
though.  I thought she was going with that painter Albee.
Little Girl: Albee was nice.  So was Gwendolyn.
Darien: (hic) She went to that damn painter's house one night and
never came back... [barf]  Now I just drink a lot.
Withered Crone: Heh!  We went to lynch him, but he'd run off.  We
found a bloody glove, so we know he killed her.  We'll catch him
anyway.  He's been stealing sheep.
Sheep Boy:  Yeah, he's probably hiding up on the hill.  Folk don't
like to go up there because of the standing stones.  I've seen him
around.  He's not the one stealing sheep though.  That's some sort of
wild animal.
Widow: It was about two weeks ago.  There was a big noise and my
husband went out, and it...tore him apart.  I think it had wings.
Since then sheep have been disappearing around here.  People
sometimes, too.

Tron: Remind me again why we bother saving these people.
Vuz: When evil is on the loose, we must acheive ballance.
Nigil: If this is another space monster...
Aran: Two weeks ago, huh... about the time that crystal broke.
Skanda: I was thinking that too.
Vivek: Anyway, I say we search the hill for this Albi guy.

After some searching, they find Albee.

Aran: Stop squirming or I'll crush you like a bug!  Now, where is
Gwendolyn?
Albee: She's... she's with me in my cave!  [burble]
Tron: I knew it!

They go to his cave and find it filled with paintings of a girl.

Albee: Oh Gwendolyn... [burble]
Tron: Or maybe not.
Vivek: When did Gwendolyn disappear?
Albee: She was going home, and then she vanished!  Then they came to
kill me.

They give Albee some food and leave.

Tron: I say we camp out and wait for the sheep killing thing.  I bet
it's what took Gwendolyn.
Tella: So, your plan is to wait for it to attack us?

They end up eating dinner at the pub.  Or rather, eating their food at
the pub.  There are some children there, and the pub wench's husband.
He is the owner.  The pub wench is sporting a new bruise.

Vivek: (to little girl) What's your name?
Little Girl: Belle.  I'm six years old. Some
people call me Ms. Fagor, which is my last name, and some people call me Belle.
I'm adopted.
Vivek: That's nice.
Lara Pubkeeper's Wife: She's an orphan, just showed up here a while back.  We take
care of her.

Pub Owner: Have some beer, on the house.  The name's Macheath, by the
way.  We don't get many traveler's here, blah blah blah.

He follows the party back up to their campsite, bringing with him a
keg of beer.

Macheath: I never got the breaks, and my life is more
depressing than you could possibly imagine. The farmers are all mean to
me because I don't work the land. It's unfair. I'm hoping things will improve
soon.
Tron: The beer sucks, that's for sure.
Nigil: Yeah.

Eventually Macheath leaves and the party settles down for the night.
Sometime around midnight...

Tron: (sees a young woman at the edge of the firelight) Gwendolyn?
Woman: (flees)

Tron, Vuz, and Vivek, pursue the woman, using their infravision to
guide them.  However, she runs into a swampy area near the river.

Tron: This looked pretty nasty during the day.  Let's search it in
daylight.

They go back to camp.  Later that night...

Huge Red Demon: (appears with a bang and flash in the ashes of the
campfire)
Tella: (attempts to disbelieve)
Nigil: Holy shi...zzzz (falls asleep)
Tron: What the...zzzz (falls asleep)
Vuz: (slashes the demon with his scimitar) It seems to have no effect!
Lynndor: (knowing his weapon is useless against this foe, he reaches
for Tron's bow)
Vivek: Shit. (goes for Nigil's magic longsword)
Aran: By the power of Hieronyous! [cleave]
Demon: Waaargh! (stabs Aran with its tail)
Aran: Argh!  Your poison cannot stop me, fiend!
Skanda: (casts a spell, blessing the party)  Pholtus aid us now!
Demon: (causes the campfire to flare up, blinding the entire party)
Aran: (swings wildly)
Skanda: It's... gone.
Tella: But look at the footprints.  It was real, all right.

Shortly, Tron and Nigil regain consciousness.

Nigil: That bastard Macheath...
Tron: ...poisoned the beer...
Nigil: ...let's go...
Tron: ...kick his ass!

They storm down to the pub, with the rest of the party in tow.

Nigil: (kicks the door open)  Macheath!
Belle: (to other children) It's ok, he's just here for Daddy.

They storm into the bedroom, where Macheath and his wife are.  She has
some new bruises.

Macheath: Oh shi... zzzzz (falls asleep)
Tron: That bastar.... zzzz (falls asleep)
Nigil: I'll ki... zzzz (falls asleep)
Vuz: Heh heh.  That's funny.

It seems that Tron, Nigil, and Macheath have drunk a potion that makes
them fall asleep whenever they get excited.  They wake up in just a
few minutes.

Vuz: Hey Tron, think fast! [punch]
Tron: Zzzzz.
Vuz: Heh heh heh.

Lynndor and Tron take Macheath "out back".  Meanwhile, Vivek talks to
his wife.

Wife: I knew something like this would happen.  He was always talking
about how he would "get his".  And lately he'd been saying that it was
going to happen soon.  He and his friends.  Dougall the bard, old
Mother Glum, and her deformed son Trevis.  They were always plotting
stuff...
Aran: Right.  Let's get to the bottom of this.

They go off to collect these suspects.  Tron and Lynndor attempt to
question Macheath.

Lynndor: It's wrong to hit women.
Tron: And I'm going to take this spike and... must stay calm... must
stay calm... mind like flowing water...
Macheath: Don't hurt me... zzzzz.
Tron: This is going to take a while.

They round up Dougall and Trevis, and soon they, along with Macheath,
are tied up in the pub.  Several curious villagers are watching as
well as Macheath's children and Belle.

Vuz: We couldn't find Mother Glum.  Her house was empty and her cat
escaped.  But we found these symbols of the god Incabulos in all of
their houses.
Aran: Incabulos?  God of plagues, demons, and disease?  I guess that's
pretty conclusive.
Vivek: You'd think devil worshipers would be smarter.
Aran: Now talk!
Dougall: I'll talk!  I'll talk!  It was all Macheath and Mother Glum,
they made me do it.  I never thought we'd summon a real demon.
Macheath: You lying bastard!  It was all Dougall, Trevis and his
mother, they were the ringleaders!  I knew nothing!
Trevis: Yup, I always wanted to summon demons.  I've been very bad.
[bibble] I wanted Gwendolyn, because she's pretty.  [drool] She's at
the old church.  Macheath built a cage out of wood.  Hello, Belle.
You're so pretty, Belle.
Belle: Hello Trevis.
Vivek: Belle, what do you know about demons?  Don't tell me you're
involved in this?
Belle: I don't know much, only that they ruled once where man rules
now, and they shall rule again.  I know the Aklo for the Sabaoth
and...
Vivek: Well, you should know that devil worship doesn't pay.  It's
very bad.
Belle: Of course it is.

Aran: I say we go to this church and settle this now.  Apparently it's
on the other side of the hill from the village.

Soon they are standing outside the old church.  A faint dawn light is
in the sky.

Skanda: This was once a temple to Pholtus.
Tron: I saw movement in the steeple.
Nigil: Let's go!  Those of us with magic weapons will take the demon,
everyone else deals with the witch.

They burst into the church.

Demon: Raaargh!
Young woman: (runs out) Help me!  Help me!
Vivek: Yeah right (grabs the woman)
Aran: Hieronyous sends you to hell! [hack]
Nigil: Eat this! [chop]
Tron: [twang]
Demon: Urk. (falls, and dissolves into smoke)
Aran: Well, that was easy.

They soon discover and rescue the real Gwendolyn, and the fake
Gwendolyn turns out to be Mother Glum, the withered crone they had
talked to earlier.

Tron: Were you the one who tried to lure us into the swamp?
Mother Glum: Pah!  You fools!  You can destroy my body, but my soul
will live on, and I will have my revenge!
Lynndor: Sure you will.

Skanda: This building has not been defiled.  It is still holy to
Pholtus.
Aran: So, you wouldn't happen to know where they keep the treasure in
these places...?
Skanda: It has not been disturbed.
Aran: ...Hey, Tron, you should give thanks to your god.
Tron: _My_ god?
Aran: He does save you a lot.
Tron: (tosses a copper piece into the collection plate)
Skanda: [with saracasm] It's the thought that counts.

They head back to the village.

Vivek: So, we're going to bring these people back to Shalister to
stand trial, right?
Aran: No, we're going to burn them here and now!
Tron: Make sure that "stake" is well done!  Heh heh.

As the writhing bodies of the devil-worshipers are consumed by flames,
the party notices Belle suddenly change form into a beautiful naked
woman...with bat wings.  Then she vanishes.  A familiar voice echoes
in their heads...

Voice: Baalphegor thanks you for the entertainment. I will return.
Lynndor: Belle Fagor? Baalphegor. I get it.
Nigil: Oh hell.
Skanda: Exactly.
Tella: Oooops.

They ride back to the keep and report to Shalister, omitting the bit
about Belle being a demon.

Shalister: Good work.  (he gives them a sack of gold coins) Now I have
another mission for you.  The kingdom of Ratik, to the north of the
Bone March, is menaced by orcs and by the plots of Hastern, my rival.
I need agents there, and I think you are just the men for the job.  I
want you to neutralize Hastern's agents there, and incidentally kill a
lot of orcs.
Vuz: Well, we kind of had plans of our own...
Shalister: I would be very displeased if you refused my request.
Vivek: Can we have some time to talk this over?
Shalister: Certainly.

The party gathers outside his office and talks.

Tron: ...we couldn't make it to Stonefist this year anyway.  We'll
have to winter in Ratik and set out in early spring if we hope to
cross the Griff Mountains in summer.
Aran: I just don't like the idea of working for that guy.
Nigil: We'd be hundreds of miles away.  We'll just do what we'd do
anyway, fight orcs and stuff.
Lynndor:  I guess...
Nigil: We'll just settle this thing in Bellport and be on our way to
Ratik.

The party eventually agrees to Shalister's proposal.  As they are
leaving the keep, they see a woman with a baby.  It is Jola, Gabriel's
sister and Nigil's one-time squeeze.

Nigil: Oh no!  Wait, it hasn't been anything like nine months... that's
just Mira, Skanda's baby.
Jola: Nigil!  I'm so glad I found you!  I'm going to have our baby!
Nigil: [gasp] Well, I'd love to accept my fatherly responsibilities,
but I have to go to Ratik and...
Jola: Please, take me with you!  My brother was going to Ratik.  This
place is evil.  I'm begging you, think of the baby.
Nigil: ...
Aran: Act like a man, Nigil.
Nigil: [ulp]  Sure, we'll go to Ratik together.
Mira: Daddy! (points to Nigil)
Nigil: No no!  (points to Skanda) Mommy!
Skanda: Shaaaa. As if.

TO BE CONTINUED...