1 . The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
2. A psychology student rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
3 . In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. By the time he had come down, eight hours short of the 400-day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
4 . A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame, as he had merely been listening to his Walkman.
5 . Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
And the last & best.......
6 . Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. You've guessed it; he opened it and said a fond farewell to his face.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie.
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
A whale's penis is called a dork.
To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly.
Reindeer like to eat bananas.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.