Written by: Jason Soto
On 98/598/20,086
I, Jason Soto, am here to deliever some very sad news. Our new friend mr. secret has recently passed away. He was found in his home, by me, last Tuesday, in his home. The cause of death is unknown at the moment. But he was at his computer writing a new "WATCH OUT" column and whatever the cause of death was occured in the middle of the column. I will paste his final column here, marking these the final words of mr. secret.
"WATCH OUT!!!! for kit-kat candy bars!!"
written by mr. secret
on 98/555/20,086
well my fellow freedom fighters, i am back to warn you about another product made by the government to control our minds, bodies, and souls, it it something called a "kit kat" and apparently it is some sort of 'candy' shaped like a long retangle, which is probably the symbol of evil, and it has some kind of crispy stuff inside it, once you take one bite of it you are 'addicted' and you cant stop eating it, which is why i'm convinced the government is behind this,
what secret formula did they put in this supposed 'candy' that makes it so addictive? probably NICOTINE!!!!!! it'll probably give you cancer 30 years from now!!!!!! in fact i bet if i smoke one, a puff of smoke will appear,
let's see...
And that is it. I don't know what happened after that. But I'm sure he was gonna end it saying for all of you freedom fighters to continue fighting for your freedom and to never give up. Give up what, I'm unsure of and was usually unsure what the hell he was talking about. Anyway, on his behalf I do thank you all who has visiting his page and I'm sure he is thinking about you all while being held hostage and brainwashed at Area 54...
I MEAN...umm...wherever he may be. Yeah. Thanks. Bye.