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| Standford's Mountain, Bitch!!! |
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| Episode 3-Paula Cole Says Vote, Bitch!!!! |
| Standford is in The Mountain Lounge when Constance walks in. |
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| Constance, did you vote, my love? |
| Standford |
| (Nervous) Umm...yes. |
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| Good! That no-gooder Kerry doesn't stand a chance of winning! To think he never came to my mountain, bitch!!! |
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| Standford |
| (Still nervous) Ummm...yeah. I gotta go!! |
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| Constance runs upstairs. Melvin walks in. |
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| Standford |
| Hello Melvin! Your precious Kerry doesn't stand a chance!! |
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| Melvin |
| Oh yeah!! Well, we'll see!! We'll just see!! |
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| Melvin and Standford just look at each other meanacingly. Gene and Trixie walks in. |
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| Standford, guess who's here to help spread the word about voting? |
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| Bush?!? |
| Standford |
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| Kerry?!? |
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| Ron Jeremy?!? |
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| You know who it is, Trixie. |
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| Oh yeah. |
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| Anyway, no. You all are wrong. It's none other then legendary singer... PAULA COLE!!!! |
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| Paula Cole walks in. |
| (Singing that one song) I don't wanna wait...until I find the bathroom...I'll just take a dump right here... |
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| Standford |
| Paula Cole lifts up her dress. |
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| Ummm...the bathroom is right over there. |
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| Melvin |
| Oh...thanks. |
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| Paula Cole gets back up and goes into the bathroom. |
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| Why is Paula Cole telling people to vote? |
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| What's Paula Cole's thing? |
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| Gene |
| You know that people won't vote unless celebrities tell them to. |
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| Trixie |
| Yeah, like P. Diddy with his "Vote or Die" thing. |
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| Constance |
| "Vote or Look At My Underarm Hair". |
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| Standford |
| EWWWWW!!!!! |
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| Trixie |
| Where's Constance? I want her to make up a room for Ms. Cole. |
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| Constance |
| She's up in her room. |
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| Gene |
| (From bathroom, singing) I don't wanna wait...until someone gives me toilet paper! I'll just use my hands right now! |
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| Upstairs, Gene and Trixie knock on Constance's door, then opens it. She is stuffing something blue into her dresser. |
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| Constance |
| Constance, what are you doing? |
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| Ummm...nothing. |
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| Gene |
| Trixie goes to the dresser and opens it and pulls out a huge "Vote For Kerry" poster. |
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| Trixie |
| Gene!! She's a Kerry supporter!!! |
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| Gene and Trixie go upstairs. |
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| You slut!!!!!! |
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| Standford |
| HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? |
| The End Created and Written by: Jason Soto |
| Melvin |
| That's going to leave a stain on my mountain...bitch!! |
| Melvin |
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| Constance |
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| Gene |
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| Trixie |
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| Gene |
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| Paula Cole |
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| Gene |
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| Paula Cole |
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| Melvin |
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| Standford |
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| Gene |
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| Standford |
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| Paula Cole |
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| Gene |
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| Trixie |
| Trixie slaps Constance. |
| Don't slap me!!!! |
| Constance slaps Trixie, then they start cat-fighting. Standford and Melvin come in. |
| What's all the commotion on my mountain, bitch?! |
| Standford and Melvin stop and look at them two fight. Then Paula Cole enters. |
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| Paula Cole |
| STOP! Fighting is pointless!! We should be peaceful and supportive of each other in these difficult times and realize that people are going to have different opinions and we should just learn to get along with each other. |
| The armpit hair lady is right. |
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| Standford |
| Yeah...but it's still cool to see two chick's fight on my mountain, bitch! Let's get them to go to the pool!! |
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| Melvin |
| Yeah!!! |
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| Standford and Melvin guide Trixie and Constance out of the room. |
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| Gene |
| You are a great inspiration. If it weren't for you celebrities to tell us these things, we'd all be screwed. Thank you. |
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| Gene reaches out to shake Paula's hand. Standford rushes back in. |
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| Standford |
| Dad, I need the key to the pool room- |
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| Gene shakes Paula's hand. |
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| Standford |
| OHH GROSS!!!!!!! |
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| Standford runs off. Moments later he is heard vomiting. |
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| Standford |