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| Standford's Mountain, Bitch!!! |
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| Episode 2: Welcome, Mr. President Bitch!!! |
| Standford is inside the Lodge of "The Mountain". Gene enters. |
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| Standford, you all ready to greet The President when he arrives? |
| Standford |
| Yes. I can't believe The President would come to our Mountain, bitch! |
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| He's desperate for votes, so he wants The Mountain Vote. |
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| Standford |
| I didn't know The Mountain could vote. |
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| I hope The President's wife isn't with him. Maybe he can help me with that little legal problem I had last year. |
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| Standford |
| I don't think The President is gonna care about your prostitution charge, Trixie. |
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| Gene dear, which room you giving The President? |
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| I told Melvin to clean and set up Suite Number 1, the best one we have. |
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| Really? I haven't seen Melvin in awhile. |
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| Standford |
| And I haven't seen Constance in awhile. You don't suppose... |
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| CONSTANCE!! Where's Melvin?! |
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| Melvin? He's probably in some gay leather bar!!! You fascist!!! |
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| Standford |
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| IT'S TRUE!! I LOVE THE O'RELIEY FACTOR!!! And there's nothing any of you can do about it!!!! |
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| They all rush back downstairs. Standing by the front door is President Bush, holding his suitcase and looking confused as usual. |
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| Standford |
| Yeah whatever. Where's Melvin? |
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| Downstairs a door is heard opening. |
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| Constance |
| The President!! He's here!! |
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| Standford |
| Welcome to The Mountain, President Bitch!! |
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| Where am I now? |
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| Thank you. |
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| Thank you. As leader of the free world, I will fight the axis of evil, and put a stop to the war on terrorism. But first, I need to go to the bathroom. |
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| It's right down the hall. |
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| President Bush goes into the bathroom. |
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| Gene |
| Uhhh...is water suppose to come out of my pleasure rod? |
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| Trixie |
| Yes, Mr. President. You need help with your pleasure rod? |
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| Bring it on! |
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| Trixie runs into the bathroom. President Bush sticks his head out. |
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| Oh, by the way, did my daughters arrive safely? |
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| Yes. They left before I did and were due to arrive three hours ago. |
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| Your daughters? |
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| Standford |
| I haven't see any hot presidental daughters on my Mountain, bitch! |
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| And Melvin is missing... |
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| They all rush upstairs. President Bush goes back into the bathroom. |
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| Gene |
| Um, ma'am? |
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| Trixie |
| Yes, Mr. President? |
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| Gene and Standford run into Suite #1 and Melvin is in bed with the Bush daughters. |
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| No need to hold my pleasure rod. |
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| Standford |
| Melvin!!! |
| The End Created and Written by: Jason Soto |
| Melvin |
| Only on my mountain...bitch! |
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| Gene |
| Trixie enters. |
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| Trixie |
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| Trixie |
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| Gene |
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| Trixie |
| They all rush upstairs. They barge into Constance's room. She is watching "The O'Reiley Factor." She looks at them, gets scared, and quickly tries to change the channel. |
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| Constance |
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| Trixie |
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| President Bush |
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| President Bush |
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| Gene |
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| President Bush |
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| President Bush |
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| President Bush |
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| President Bush |
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| Gene |
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| President Bush |
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| President Bush |
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| President Bush |
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| Gene |
| Bush Daughters!! What do you think you're doing?!? |
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| We're just making a video! |
| Melvin points and Paris Hilton is holding a video camera. She looks at Standford and Gene. |
| Paris Hilton |
| That's hot! |
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| Standford |