| Jason's Day-To-Day Life (2005 Edition) |
 |
| Monday, January 3rd, 2005 Holy crap, it's 2005!!!! WOW!! I'm gonna be 25!!! And my life needs improving!!! I'm having a mid-twenties life crisis. Well, I vow to make things happen this year!!! Until then, I recommend these movies: Shaun of The Dead Anchorman Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind Punch Drunk Love Just rent all four and watch all four in a row, trust me, they all rock! I'm hoping to seriously get my book if not published, at least copywrited this year. And get a way better job. And try to make my girlfriend Felicia the happiest woman on the face of the planet. Aww, I can't end on an "AWWW...." note. Umm....fungus rock! There! Song You Should Download: REM's Electrolite |
|
| Tuesday, January 4th, 2005 Well, everything is over. Christmas, New Years Eve, New Years Day or as I like to call it, Hangover Day. It's a new year, only 4 days into it, and things are already sort of boring and plain. I should someday do something spontanious, like see if I can walk from here to downtown Chicago and back, or skydive, or pick a fight with a stray dog. And this year ends in an odd number. 2003 was kinda odd...so was 2001...I wonder... Current song I'm Listening to: The Bangles "Hazy Shade of Winter". Did you know that Simon & Garfunkel originally recorded that song? Weird, huh? |
|
| Wednesday, January 5th, 2004 Snow, snow, and more freakin' snow!!! I think there's about maybe 300 inches of snow outside right now as we speak. I got special permission from my boss saying I don't have to come in to work tomorrow if it gets worse. So I'm actually hoping it gets worse. I don't have to leave my house. I got my computer, my DVD's, my food, and my Dr. Pepper. I just need my Felicia and I'm happy. Hmmm...wonder how much a helicopter costs? Songs You Should Download: Weezer "My Name Is Jonas" & The Killer's "Mr. Brightside" |
|
| Tuesday, January 11th, 2005 Ok, people. It's the 11th already. TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!! It just makes you look lazy and sad. Or makes it look like you been murdered and your rotting corpes are inside your house. I'm listening to a cool song but I can't say what it is cause the band and album it's from is used on this week's quiz. Enjoy! |
|
| Tuesday, January 18th, 2005 In the past week my glasses broke, so now I'm the typical geek with tape on glasses. Song I was listening to last week: Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World. |
|
| Tuesday, January 25th, 2005 Well, your good ol' friend Jason is gonna do is duty and be on a jury. I probably can't talk about the case. Well, I don't know what the case is now. It's probably a traffic ticket or something. I'll recommend that whoever it is frys in the chair. I decided everyday I'll pass off a movie recommendation, just a random movie that comes to mind. Today's movie recommendation is: The Odd Couple. Starring Jack Lemmon and Walter Mattheu and written by Neil Simon, based on his play. Lemmon is Felix Unger and he gets a divorce from his wife, so he lives with his friend Oscar Madison, who is a total slob, while Felix is an anal neat freak. People are probably more familar with the TV show starring Tony Randall and Jack Klugman. While the show is great, the movie is just awesome. Take the day off tomorrow and go rent it. You'll thank me. |
|
| Tuesday, February 1st, 2005 Well, I got jury duty on Thursday. Well, I think it's unlikly that I got jury duty. What kind of goofy ass case am I gonna be needed for 2 days? Maybe even 1? The hell? Well, anyway, here's another movie recommendation: When you're done with "the odd couple", watch "The Odd Couple 2", filmed about 30 years later after the first one. It takes place about 30 years later and Felix and Oscar are older and their kids are getting married: to each other! So they're off to the wedding, but they get sidetracked by several things. Think "Grumpy Old Men" meets "Road Trip". It's an hilarious movie, so check it out. |
|
| Thursday, February 3rd, 2005 Well, I don't have to do jury duty. Hoorah! And because of all this jury duty talk, my movie recommendation is... "My Cousin Vinny". Now, if you haven't seen "My Cousin Vinny" you REALLY need to take the day off of work, go to your video store and rent this. I think this is a must see for everyone on the planet. I plan on going to the parts of Africa you see in the news and in "please give money" commericals with a TV, a DVD player, and some popcorn and show them this movie. Anyway, if YOU HAVEN'T (Poor fool) seen this movie, this is the last time anyone has any collective memory of Ralph Macchio appearing in a movie. He and his friend, some dude I forgot his name, are in Alabama and they appear at the wrong convienent store at the wrong time and are accused of murdering a good ol' boy. So they get arrested and tried for murder. In desperate for a lawyer, Ralph hires His Cousin Vinny (Get it?), played by Joe Pesci. Vinny failed the bar exam 3 times and isn't really an accredited lawyer, but he helps out any way he can. And, well, when New Yorkers are stuck in Alabama, you know hilarity is gonna ensue. So go out and see it if you haven't. Sheesh, what are you DOING with your life? |
|
| Tuesday, February 8, 2005 Not much going on in my life, so I'll just give you a movie recommendation. "Airplane!" Why am I bringing up "Airplane!"? Well, just because, ok? Came out sometime in the 70's, it spoof's disaster films, mainly the "Airport" movies. I'm sure all of you know a lot about this movie, so I don't have to go into extreme details. Just go see it, even if you seen it before, see it! |
|
| Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 I'm gonna post this here in case this new thing on my site gets me in any trouble. the whole "mr secret" page is really just a spoof, a satire if you will, on other sites and people who really are like this. I really don't believe the government is using the things that are and will be posted to try to "enslave" us. Really I don't. And I also wish to say that I do not mean anyone who works in any form of government job any harm by writing these satirical posts. Ok, with that done, here's your movie recommendation, "Airplane 2: The Sequel", which is, well the sequel to "Airplane!" This time, everyone is going into space and it spoofs sci-fi and action movies, along with mission:impossible and other great things. You also get to see Sonny Bono try to blow up a space ship. It's funny, go see it, after you seen "Airplane!" |
|
| Tuesday, February 15th, 2005 Well, boys and ghouls, I hope you all had a great valentine's day. I had a kick ass one! It was so kickass I was gone for a whole weekend. (You figure it out.) Anyway, I got a movie recommendation for you, but for a movie in theaters. It's "Boogyman", about, well, the boogyman. This dude named Tim saw his Dad get taken by it when he was a kid and he hasn't be able to get over it, so he lives in a studio apartment with no closets and he's ripped the doors off of everything. But he has to go back to his childhood home and ultimately face the boogyman. I thought it was pretty cool, especially the way the boogyman and Tim traveled. Just see it and you'll see what I mean. News Item of The Week: Pantyhose Man!!! |
|
| Wednesday, February 16th, 2005 WOOO!!!!! My IPOD arrived today!!!! UH-HUH!!! UH-HUH!!!! OH YEAH!!! Now I can wear all black and dance to pop tunes all day. Yeeha!!!!! Movie recommendation: "Clue: The Movie", based on the Parker Brother's board game, it features six people who are given fake names (If you know anything about the board game you know the names) who all are being blackmailed by one Mr. Boddy, who ends up killed and the rest of the movie, all the characters are trying to figure out who killed him, along with 5 other strangers who show up. It is a great murder mystery/comedy and I highly recommend it. |
|
| Saturday, February 19th, 2005 I was at the store and I was waiting for the bus outside it, and I think I found a female "Aqualung". This lady, who had a kid with her, came up to the ashtray that was near me and the door, looked through the cigarette butts, took about 5 or 6 of them, put them in her pocket, and then went into the store. I don't know... Anyway, since my friend J recently went on a road trip, my movie recommendation is "Road Trip" starring Sean William Scott and Tom Green. A bunch of college students go on a road trip because one of them accidently sent a homemade sex tape to his girlfriend. It's a great movie and it makes you think twice before sending back that french toast. |
|
| Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005 I haven't done this format in awhile so here goes. What I Had For Dinner: I haven't eaten yet but I'm gonna go make me a pizza in the oven soon. My girlfriend keeps getting on me about how I should learn how to cook other things but on days like today I never have any energy to be standing at a stove for 30 minutes to an hour making something. Plus when I'm hungry, I wanna eat NOW! I don't wanna have to be standing there, stirring crap, cutting crap, mixing crap, and other kinds of crap while my stomach is rumbling saying "DAMN IT JUST EAT IT RAW!! I DON'T CARE!!" then I die from Salmonella poisioning. Is that what you want? I didn't think so. Last Song I Heard On My Ipod: Green Day's "Brain Stew" Today's Website Update is dedicated to: Hunter S. Thompson, who shot himself late Sunday night/early Monday morning. I only knew the guy from "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" and some appearances on "Conan O'Brien". But my friend "J" has some cool things to say about him on his page, so go check that out. Movie Recommendation: "Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas" as a tribute to Mr. Thompson. Johnny Depp became the coolest actor in my book when I saw his portrayl has Thompson in this movie. It is awesome and very, very FUCKIN weird. It took me about three times watching this movie to decide if I liked it or not. It really isn't for everyone. Plus it was directed by Terry Gilliam, who is probably also a big drug freak. Speaking of Gilliam, I need to see "Brazil". |
|
| Tuesday, March 1st, 2005 What I Ate For Dinner: Subway! Eat Fresh! What I'm Listening To Now: "If It Makes You Happy" by Sheryl Crow I got a WHOLE shitload of Movie Recommendations for ya. First off, you should go watch "Saw", it is the most FUCKED UP movie you will ever probably see, until another fucked up movie comes along. I also watched "The Grudge" which wasn't really THAT great, it didn't get too scary or freaky until the end. There were a few "Jump out of your seat" moments here and there, but it really got good at the end. Plus why no nude Sarah Michelle Gellar scene? What a rip off. And finally, there's "Collateral" with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise. It's a cool movie but I need to see it again cause I didn't pay much attention to it in the middle. But from what I saw of it, it was pretty awesome. And The Award Goes To: "Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind" won for Best Original Screenplay. Now why didn't this win Best Director and Best Picture. Michel Gondry is like today's kick ass director, he should get some kind of award for all the kick ass things he directs. I can watch the DVD with all his music videos he directed, including the ones for bands I don't like. And Eternal Sunshine is just a kick ass movie, gotta be WAY better then "Million Dollar Crack Whore...er Baby". Even when I'm happy with the Oscars, I feel gyped. Grr... |
|
| Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Burger King's Angus Burger. YUM! Blah...today was boring and way too typical. Not much to report. I'm glad 'mr secret' is ok though. I was worried about him. (Heeheehee)... |
|
| Thursday, March 3rd, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: A 6 inch Cheese Steak sub from Subway, about to have the second Angus Burger I ordered yesterday. Major accomplishment for today: Convinced a manager at work that I have a germ problem because I refused to clean the toilets at work because I know doing that isn't part of my job and it's basically bullshit that they're making me do it. I don't mind cleaning anything else around the restaurant but I know that isn't my job. That's the janitor's job, and until I get the janitor's salary I'm gonna stand my ground. |
|
| Sunday, March 6th, 2005 HAPPY FIVE MONTH ANNIVERARY, WEBSITE!!!!!! Woo, party!!! or something.... Today I Ate For Dinner: Some weiners, er, hot dogs. Covered with cheese. Yum Ahh...I love Sunday's. The only day of the week where I can sleep in, wake up at 1, read four pages worth of comics, then stay home and watch movies all day. Sunday's rock!!! If I ever become President, I'm delcaring that every day becomes a Sunday. That'd be great for people who work on Sundays cause I know their bosses don't come to work on Sundays. I know back when I use to work on Sundays and I had to work, I would just run around and scream "KETCHUP!!!!" and throw cheese. It don't have to make sense. |
|
| Monday, March 7th, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Well, I guess it was dinner, even though I'm about to go make something to eat right now. I had Taco Bell with Bill earlier. Yum! Important News: The Soto Show is back in effect, ya! I said The Soto Show is back in effect! Word!!! Me and Bill filmed what I consider the first half of a bunch of new ideas today. Hopefully next week we'll finish the second half. It was great, grand, and fun. Woo! Monday's is gonna be the normal day for the "Help Me, Jason" column. I'm gonna try to have the stuff on my site set to a schedule each day. We'll see how long that lasts! Reminder: If you are participating in my quiz, you have until Tomorrow night at 6 PM (My time) To submit the answers. Good luck! |
|
| Tuesday, March 8th, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Two Angus Burgers. I really need to talk to the Mayor of East Chicago or someone about opening up a few more restaurant in the area. It sucks only having to eat Burger King, McDonalds, or Subway. I don't have a problem with any of them but it gets tiring after awhile just having to pick one of those three places. I Am Annoyed Because: The people who run this place on Live Journal called "The Movie Quiz 2" are a bunch of uptight assholes. I wrote to them on Sunday asking how someone should word an answer and it took them two days to come up with a SUPER long ass explaination like they're getting ready to go to court or something. It really aggrivated me and frankly I think they treated me rather rudely. I think I'm gonna stop taking their quizzes and just focus on mine. Screw em. |
|
| Monday, March 14th, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: A Bacon Cheeseburger I spent most of the day going over this freaky ass dream I had the other day with Bill, who is helping me make some sense of it. The more we go over it, the more strange and freaky it gets. So far, we realized everything revolves around the number seven. I might write about it and show you guys what I'm talking about. |
|
| Tuesday, March 15th 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Two Whoppers. Apparently to "Have it your way" it's gonna cost you. I asked for cheese and bacon and I had to pay two extra dollars. Stupid corporations. Anyway, D-Day is coming for me tomorrow. Isabel is going to be a certified/offical manager tomorrow. Someone just kill me now. Or her. Whatever. |
|
| Wednesday, March 16th, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Nothing. I'm starving myself. Anorexia, here I come!!!! Well, for the first time, possibly, there is a bunch of serious updates on my site. Mr. Secret is dead, so his final column is posted, and I finally wrote out the dream I had the other night and all the details me and Bill came up with as well. Anyone who is good at figuring out dreams wanna read it and tell me what's going on, be my guest. Isabel is offically a manager. The end of the world is definately FUCKIN' NEIGH!!! |
|
| Thursday, March 17th, 2005 Today's Holiday Is: St. Patrick's Day Why This Is A Big Deal: No one knows, but it's a great excuse to get drunk!! WOO!!! Today I Ate For Dinner: N/A I can't wait until March is over with, for a few reason. One, for nicer weather. Two, I get to see Felicia, my girlfriend, in April. And finally, all this stupid basketball talk will end. Sheesh... I would make a Black History Month/March Madness/Basketball joke here, but I won't. |
|
| Monday, March 21st, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Wendy's. Yum! I don't have much to write about here..... oh wait.... (ahem).... I'M GETTIN' FREAKIN DSL!!!! WOO!!!! (does a little dance, makes a little love, gets down tonight...) Yep. It's about damn time too. Can't wait. Ok, that's all... NO wait.... Felicia is going on a two day business trip to North Carolina! No Felicia for two days?!?!? How will I survive?? Hmm...I could call a Felicia Impersonator to take her place for those two days. Just think, they wait around and around for someone to finally call to ask to impersonate Felicia, well, they're gonna get their 30 dollars worth for the next 2 days. Of course the fact it's a bunch of guys named Tony who does the impersonation makes it easier on me to not have sex with the impersonators. |
|
| Tuesday, March 22, 2005 Today I Ate For Dinner: Subway! WOO!! Well, this is day 1 without Felicia, while she is away on her trip. So far I'm doing ok. I'm not totally bored cause I wanted two and a half hours for her to call me while she's getting drunk with her co-workers. Ok, I'm kidding, she didn't get TOTALLY drunk. I just hope pictures don't end up on the Internet. Eeek! |
|
| Monday, April 4th, 2005 WOO!! It's APRIL!!!! And it was nice outside!!!! WOO!!! WOO!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Ok, sorry, I just like nice weather. Anyway, To update you: I got DSL finally, so things are so fast I get out of breath while surfing the net. Felicia survived her trip to North Carolina. I premired my new show on Public Access today: The Soto Show LIVE! And now I am updating my site. Oh, I heard that people couldn't access my site this past weekend cause of a page error. I hope it's all fixed for you people now. Sorry about that. Today's update is dedicated to: Mitch Hedberg, who died last week. He was one funny mofo. Read some of his best stuff here. |
|
| Wednesday, April 13th, 2005 Sorry I been neclecting my site. Please don't call Social Services! They really treat you like shit for ignoring your site for as long as I did. I been busy with stuff, plus I went to Indianapolis for a weekend, and I had to work another god awful 39 cent hamburger day. That's about it. Hopefully I'll get to my regular material soon. |
|
| Thursday, April 28th, 2005 Well, your patience has served you well. Not only am I finally updating my site today, I did something neat! I was never happy with the way I had "Standford's Mountain, Bitch!" presented. I wish I knew how to animate and stuff. But I did the next best thing! So enjoy "The Updated Look of Standford's Mountain, Bitch!" Bitch! |
|
| Thursday, May 12, 2005 Ok, so I feel bad for not paying attention to my website in a long ass time. I been working on the "Standford's Mountain, Bitch!!" page though. I hope you like the new look. I think it looks cool. But since I been ignoring this site for awhile, I went and updated all the stuff I could. I even asked The Masked Interviewer to write something. The guy who does the Stoner page, J, is MIA currently and I don't know when, or even if, he'll be back. I'll give him another month, then the Stoner Page is going to the archives. Felicia's birthday was May 2nd, 2005. She's two years old then me, but she still looks so freakin hot. Happy Birthday (Again) Felicia. I got her the Bjork tearjerker "Dancer In The Dark". Now she can watch Bjork get hung as often as she wants. |
|
| Thursday, May 19th, 2005 Maybe I should rename this page "Whenever The Hell Jason Feels Like Writing On It Page". But I think I did forget to tell you guys: I'M GOING TO LOLLAPALOOZA!!! Yep. Me, Felicia, and Felicia's sister Alicia is gonna dance around two days straight to a bunch of bands I never heard of and a few I have. It's gonna be swell! |
|
| Tuesday, June 7th, 2005 Birthday Annoucement: June 5th...WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!! YEE-HAW!!!! I am exactly a quarter of a century years old. If you spend more then 5 seconds trying to figure out how old that is...you might be a redneck. But I had a pretty sweet birthday. I either recieved and/or bought the following things for my birthday: Arrested Development Season 1 DVD The People Under The Stairs (Kickass movie) A cool Pulp Fiction shirt with Jules on it that says "I'm Sorry, Did I Break Your Concentration?" A shirt and matching shorts that's so huge that it probably might be a little big on Michael Moore. A big ass bottle of cologne. This weird alarm clock that shakes and has goofy voices. A T-Shirt with the map of Indiana on it, which is funny cause an hour before I got it, I was making fun of it at Wal-Mart. Three cool shirts from Target. And Felicia made me get some new shoes, which are Vans, so they're pretty neat. Oh and I got to spend the weekend with my darling Felicia. And she owes Bill a huge ass favor cause I orginally was gonna drag her to see the new Star Wars movie but Bill said he, his new girlfriend, and I will go. And Felicia is so anti-Star Wars it's odd. So she got lucky. And boy did she ever get lucky this weekend (wink wink). (Ahem) Anyway... If you wish to get me a belated birthday gift, get me something from here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/registry.html/ref=cm_wl_reg-item/102-1283396-2650563?%5Fencoding=UTF8&id=8EYO3CF1TW10 I want to mention one more thing, then I'll be done. I recently became friends with someone who is actually a published writer, but she needs all the sales she can get. So I told her I'd do my part in getting the word out. It's pretty much available at anyplace that sells books (i.e Barnes & Nobles, Waldenbooks, or Borders. If you go to Borders, make sure it's not in the religion section.) or you can buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/068987877X/meghannmarco-20/102-1283396-2650563?creative=327641&camp=14573&link_code=as1 Ok, I'm done being a sellout. Enjoy your day/night/drunken stupor. |
 |
| This book is Cool Soto Approved. |
|
| Tuesday, June 21st, 2005 There hasn't been a whole lot going on. I'm anxiously awaiting Lollapalooza, which is like a month away. I saw some cool movies since my last update. Star Wars Episode 3-This was an ok movie. It wasn't as great as everyone made it out to be. But the action sequences kicked ass. And the whole transformation into Darth Vader was pretty neat. Batman Begins-YES! Now this movie fuckin' rocked!! I loved it! It was so awesome, I can't even begin to describe it. I got some new sites for you to check out but I'll put them in the links page. That's why I created that page. Ok, I'm done for this week. |
|
| Saturday, July 9th, 2005 I just wanted to say something to all the Movie Snobs in the world. I been keeping busy with work, going to Chicago about 3 times a day, and loving my girlfriend more and more. But you don't wanna hear about the girlfriend thing. You wanna hear about the weird lesbian at work. Well, I already wrote about it. I don't wanna get in more trouble. |
|
| Thursday, July 21st, 2005 Happy Belated Birthday TO: Mr. Bill Szany!! He is also a quarter of a century year old!! And his birthday was yesterday. So it's already old news. Oh well. It's hot outside, make sure you stay indoors and browse my site. I been keeping busy what with the writing, and the non-updating my site, and starting online forums, which is really a fancy way of saying a message board. PLEASE! The word of the day is "Leg", please spread the word. Thank you. |
|
| Monday, July 25th, 2005 Not enough of you are joining my forum. How come? Not good enough for you, or something? Oh, I get it. I'm not "popular" enough for you, is that it? Well, fine! Go join the corporate forums!!! Be a slave!! IN FACT WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO |
| Jason says some mean stuff here. You'll thank us later.- Editor |
| Then when you're done with that, clean yourselves up!!! Phew. I feel better. Please, just joing the fuckin forum! It's free, it's not gonna hurt. GR! Anyway, I had a funny weekend. I went and saw Lollaplooza. You can read what I learned here and what exactly when down here. |
|
| Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 Everybody! Do The "Tomorrow's Gonna Suck Major Ass For Jason Dance"!! WOO!!! Anyway, tomorrow is McDonald's 557,495,999th Outragous Value Day, which means hamburgers and cheeseburgers are going to be so cheap, you'll think it's the 1920's or something. TO THE PEOPLE OF EAST CHICAGO, INDIANA!!!! DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT GO FUCKING INSANE TOMORROW AND TRY TO BUY 500 HAMBURGERS AND 700 CHEESEBURGERS!!!! WE WILL NOT SERVE YOU!! INSTEAD I WILL PROBABLY COME OUT AND THROW CHEESE AT YOU UNTIL YOU CRY!!!! Thank you. Wish me luck tomorrow. Music I'm Currently Listening To: Red Hot Chili Pepper's "Scar Tissue". This was a weird video. Basically, they drove in a car covered in band-aids. Seriously. |
|
| Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 <sneaks in quietly> <lights turn on> OH! www.jasonsoto.cjb.net! I didn't know you were still awake...umm...hey baby. What's up? What's that? NO!! I'd never cheat on you!! You're my one and only website, baby. You know- (http://www.invasionofthebmovies.cjb.net) Oh! Where'd you find this? On...the links page? You know the links page is a big fat liar. He said he dated Jessican Simpson before that Nick Latch Key guy. He- No, don't cry... Oh, ok fine. Yes. I have another site. And yes it is slightly prettier then you. But! I needed a release! I...have B movie urges!! I needed some place to put them. I AM ONLY HUMAN!! DON'T YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY?!?!!? DON'T YOU!!!!!!!! Look, I'll update you when I can, ok? I mean...fall is around the corner and, well, there'll be more "Standford's Mountain, Bitch!" But...frankly. It appears no one likes you. I mean, I created you to put all my funny thoughts down but I guess people think I suck or something. This site, and my forum, isn't getting any business. I don't know what people expect out of me, baby. Look. I'm gonna go. See you when I see you. In the meantime, I'm rocking out to Seven Mary Three's "Cumbersome". |