Written By: ©Tiffany Haga
My chin trembled at the sight of his languid figure
resting on the bed. I couldn’t believe I was sitting
here watching his body die right before me. Tears
soaked every inch of my face. There were those days
when I woke up in the morning and I wanted to cry,
maybe because of anger I had built up inside or, it
was one of those days where I had to cry. Now I wish
I wasn’t crying. I wish I was smiling into his green
eyes, kissing his pink lips, and listening to his
magical voice. The sound of my whimpers and his
soundless, light breathing invaded the room. My hands
ran across my skin and I took in a deep breath. Here
I am.
Crying.
It’s all my fault ya know? If we hadn’t argued he
would be alive right now. He wouldn’t have gone on
that drive when the water from the rain drenched the
streets and blinding light from the other cars didn’t
strain to look through the furious rain storm. He’d
be wrapping his arms around me, kissing my forehead,
and pressing his body closer into me when the thunder
grew stronger, louder, and more enraged.
I watched as his four friends poured into the room.
Justin’s astounding blue eyes were coated with pain
and tears. Fear detailed his features after first
sight of his dying friend. Joey’s eyes stayed pressed
to the floor. He wasn’t one to show much emotion.
His pain was usually bottled up inside. I noticed one
tear slid down his cheek. One of his best friends was
dying and he knew it. JC kept close to Justin. His
blue eyes stayed closed and he mouthed prayers. His
forehead was wrinkled and stern. Dry tears convened
on his cheek and his body shook. Chris sat in the
corner of the room. He looked like a lost child.
Confusion.
It invaded his thoughts and emotions. His eyes
wondered from person to person. He didn’t say
anything. He just avoided the body lying before him.
He cried like a little boy looking for his mom.
Occasional sniffles came from him and he took in short
breaths.
No one noticed me though. Maybe they were all blaming
me and couldn’t stand the sight of their friend’s
murderer. Maybe. I watched as they all moved
together and gave each other a solid hug. Why didn’t
they include me in their hug? I looked up at Justin
who watched me. My chin was still trembling with the
rest of my body. His eyes were concerned and
suffering. I felt responsible. He slowly bent down
and kissed my fore head. He then sat next to me and
wrapped me into him. I sobbed loudly into his coat as
he whispered positive things to me in my ear.
Nothing could prepare my emotions for what could
happen in the next five minutes. I knew it before it
would even happen. But, then it did. A loud beep
screamed from one of the machines they had connected
to him. Doctors came running into the room yelled for
us to exit so they could fix the problem. I knew the
problem couldn’t be fixed. I walked out and pressed
my face towards the glass so I could get a good look
at him. I watched as the doctors tried profusely to
get a life back into the dead cadaver lying there. I
looked over to see if the rest of the guys were
watching but they were wrapped up in each other
praying. I looked back into the room to see Lance
looking over the doctors and his body. I began to
cry. His eyes then moved away from them to stare into
mine. Chills ran up and down my body and I suddenly
grew extremely cold. Tears were now rushing down my
face.
He smiled.
I felt a warm brush of air at my ear. I looked over to
my side and there was no one there. I then looked
back to see no sight of Lance. I fell to my knees and
began to sob. Why did I look away? Why? I felt the
warm brush of air again and glanced up. There he was.
Standing right in front of me. He was wearing all
white and he was still smiling. I couldn’t breath. I
couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. His hand ran across
my face but I couldn’t feel it.
“It’s not your fault Nina.” He said.
“Lance please don’t.” I cried.
“Nina,” I heard a voice behind me.
“I love you.” He said.
“Nina!” I heard it again.
“I love you too.” I whispered.
“Nina!” My eyes turned to face the voice, “He’s gone.”
“I know.”
I turned back to Lance to see him walking out of the
hospital. There he goes. The only person I’ve ever
loved, the only person that ever made me happy and now
he’s gone. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I
wanted to die, but all I could do was smile. I wanted
him back so bad, but I knew I’d be with him soon, and
that he still loved me.
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