**
Cause I Refuse To Let You Think You Can Play With My Mind
Always Seems That You Think That I’m Blind
Causes There Always Certain Times When Your Hard To Find
Your On The Go, I’m On The Go, Were On The Go
I Can’t Catch You No More, Can’t See You No More
And It No Longer Can Be Ignored
Britney walked through the cold halls of her hotel. She hadn’t talked to Justin in at least a week. It felt so continuous to her. Constantly having to wait weeks for his phone call. She remembered when their love was new and magical. She couldn’t live five minutes with out hearing the music in his soothing voice, kissing his supple red lips, or running her fingers through his blond curly locks.
They were always moving throughout their careers. A lot of people doubted them because the two were both famous pop star with unimaginably busy schedules. Justin had always assured her it would work out though. He promised her that his love would be more than true. It would be honest.
Britney opened the room. A breeze of lonely quiet air brushed against her skin as she made her way through the darkness to her bed. She switched on the light and her first vision was his smiling face. Not the typical magazine picture. It was the most intimate picture of Justin she owned. His face had a different glow to it. It was after they made love for the first time. No one had that picture, but her.
She picked up the phone and dialed the first four digits of his phone number and slammed the phone back onto the hook. She was so desperate to call him. She wanted to hear his voice telling her that everything was going to be okay. She just didn’t want to hear him say it was all in her head. She didn’t need head games. She needed love.
And The Absence Of You Is Hurting My Soul
Didn’t Know There Was An End Of The Road
It Was So Easy For You Just To Let It All Go
JC told him that he needed to call her. Just so she wouldn’t freak out and think that her life was over because of him. He wanted end it all. He wanted to be Justin Timberlake again. Not Britney Spears’ beau. He wanted to relieve the weight of a relationship. His mom always said he thought well with out a girl in his life.
Justin walked over to the phone and picked it up. He dialed the first four digits of Britney’s cell phone number but hung it up before he could finish. Something in him was resisting calling her. He figured he’d go see in tomorrow morning and tell her what he needed to say in person and not over the phone. It wasn’t proper.
I Refuse To Have One More Sleepless Night
I Refuse,
I Refuse To Let A Tear Fall From My Eye
I Refuse,
I Refuse To Continue To Try
I Felt Like I Would Die, If I Could Breakdown And Cry
Britney pulled the heavy covers over her body and rested her head on the pillow. Her heart was broken. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way. She wasn’t supposed to be unhappy. She was supposed to be in love. She was Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend. She was the envy of millions of girls around the world.
Now all she could think about was if her and Justin were going to be together at the end of the day. She was so sick of always trying to make their relationship right. For the past few months she cried herself to sleep, alone in her bed.
She scolded herself. ‘Don’t get so damn upset over a phone call Justin will call! He will’ She never understood why she was so mad about him not calling her. He was a busy man. He had a hectic life. He was Justin Timberlake of Nsync. Then she remembered. She did this every night. It wasn’t an excuse anymore.
She was going to change it.
I Refuse To Let You Walk Back Through That Door
I Refuse,
I Refuse To Let You Hurt Me Anymore
And I Refuse,
I Refuse To Continue To Ignore
The Fact I Fell To The Floor, The Day You Walked Out My Door
Justin opened the door see Britney consumed in the music blaring through her room. Her back was to Justin and her body danced to the music. She sang completely off key and as loud as she possibly could. To her it didn’t matter how horrible she sounded. She was having a great time.
Justin fought with himself for a couple minutes. He didn’t know if he should go in there. He was in love with Britney. He knew he was but he did fly all the way out to New York to tell her he loved her.
He used to do that. He used to buy dozens of roses and when she opened the door to her house the flooded the hallways. He used to greet her at the door with her favorite song. He used to kiss her cheeks and eyes at night before he would leave. He used to be sure of their relationship. Now he didn’t know.
Britney turned to see Justin standing at the door. His features showed confusion and his eyes were tired. She stood there for a minute not really knowing what to say. He looked so good. He was wearing her favorite baby blue Abercrombie and Fitch shirt with a pair of dark blue jeans. His curls were now shaved off, which she loved.
Justin watched Britney’s face go from happy to lost. It broke his heart that she would run into his arms and press her lips into his. That she wouldn’t jump up on him, wrap her legs around his waist, and pull him into her embrace. The moment was really uncomfortable. Justin wanted to shut the door and leave.
“J.” Britney said softly. She wanted desperately to hold him. She wanted his cologne to stimulate her scenes. She wanted to run her hand across his head then kiss his temple.
“Hey Britney.” Justin said now shutting the door behind him. He felt awkward. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. He was supposed to take his shoes off, even if they stunk and throw them against the wall. He was supposed to rip the clothes off of Britney and share intimacy with her. He was supposed to tell her he loved her.
“What are you doing here?” Britney asked as she walked to the radio to shut the music off.
“We need to talk.” Justin said.
“Okay.” Britney knew it was coming. She prepared herself for it. She wasn’t going to look weak in front of him. She was going to hold her head up high and agree with him. She was going to smile and tell him she’d always love him no matter what.
“Look,” Justin paused. He wanted to tell her that he was so in love and that they should quit their lives and get married and run away and never be seen again. They couldn’t though, “I think…”
“Justin, we can’t do this anymore.” Britney finished his sentence.
“I agree.” Justin said.
“I will always love you Justin but I can’t be in your life anymore. I’ve been hurt too much by you for these past few months and we just can’t keep going on like this.” Britney fought to hold back the tears that were building up in her eyes.
“Can we still be friends?” Justin asked.
“I don’t think so J, I can’t do it.” Britney said. She wanted to tell him she didn’t want to do this from the beginning but right now ‘Britney’ was more important.
“I love you Britney Jean Spears.” Justin said. He then placed a kiss on her cheek and pulled himself up from her bed. As he turned his back to her she let the tears fall.
“I love you too Justin.” Britney said as she watched him continue to walk out of the room. Her knees grew weak. She felt like she was going to die. She couldn’t live with out him in her life. She knew it. He opened the door slowly. He knew he couldn’t look back at her. She was crying. She was upset. She was dying. He admired how strong she was. She refused to let him see other wise. That’s why he fell in love with her in the first place.
He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. HE pressed his back against the door and closed his eyes. He breathing grew heavy and he bawled. He never cried like that before. He cried to hard he began to hyperventilate. He pulled himself off the door and walked away, for good.
Britney stood there for a minute as she watch the door shut. What was there to do now but cry. She didn’t want to cry. She wasn’t going to feel the pain he caused her anymore. She knew she had to be strong but she couldn’t. She fell to the floor. She curled herself in a ball and cried.
You Don’t Touch Me The Same, Don’t Hold Me The Same
No, I Don’t Want You To Take All The Blame
Cause I Know I Had Those Moments When I Caused The Pain
This Back And Forth Just Like A War With You And Me
See We Both Disagree, Have We Ever Agreed?
This Is Nothing Like I Thought It Would Be
Was It All Just A Dream? Was It Ever In My Reach?
*^*Flashback*^*
Justin wrapped his arms around Britney’s waist. Not the way he used to but still loving. They haven’t each other in at least five months. She missed him terribly but so much had happen through those five months. She changed. Her life changed. He changed.
Britney turned to face Justin. He was tired, you could tell. His eyes were red on the edges and black circles were engraved underneath his eyes. All she wanted to do was take him away. Take him into her own little world where everything was right. She couldn’t though.
“I’ve missed you so much.” Justin said. His warm breath was heavily breathing.
“I missed you too J.” Britney said.
Justin moved in close to her face. She knew what he was doing. She hesitated to kiss him. She was angry with him yes, but she wanted to be in his arms so bad that she didn’t care. He pressed his lips against hers. She watched his eyes flutter shut but she didn’t close hers. They always did it before but it was different this time.
Justin could feel the oddness of their kiss and shot his eyes open. He notice her eyes were open. How weird was that? He felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to say or how to react. They had never opened their eyes while they kissed before.
“Why are your eyes open?” Justin asked.
“I don’t know, it’s just different I guess.” Britney shrugged it off.
“Well don’t do that, it’s weird.” Justin said.
“Alright.” Britney said.
He moved in to kiss her again. When their lips met his eyes fluttered shut once again. She closed hers as well but after a minute she pulled them open again. She watched him. He felt it again and let his eyes shoot open to see hers open again.
“Britney, what’s going on with you?” Justin already knew. She cheated on him. He could feel it in their kiss.
“What do you mean?” She played it off.
“Britney, who is it?” Justin asked.
“What are you talking about?” Britney asked.
“Who were you with?” Justin shouted. He startled her a little as well. She was quiet. There was no use in lying to him.
“You don’t know him.” Britney said softly.
“Fuck you Britney.” Justin could feel the sting of tears on the edge of his eyes.
“Justin, you didn’t call for months! I wasn’t going to sit around and be in pain!” Britney shouted, “All we did was kiss.”
“Get the hell out of my house!” Justin pointed at the door.
“Justin.” Britney tried to get his attention.
“OUT!”
*^*Flashback Over*^*
No Way I Can’t Take It Baby
No Way, But I Refuse
To Take It Anymore
Britney closed her eyes as she cuddled with her teddy bear. The same teddy bear Justin gave her years ago. She knew she did herself right. She couldn’t handle it anymore. She knew she did wrong. So did he. They weren’t meant to be together and she refused to convince herself otherwise. She’d always love Justin and a part of her heart would always be with him and, there was nothing else to be said.
HOME