Written By: ©Tiffany Haga
Lyrics By: ©Nsync's "Gone"
Gone
*
“There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change”
*
Justin walked into his empty house after a long day. Leaning against the closed door he resisted the temptation to call out her name as he usually did when he got home from wherever he had gone, but this time she was gone. She had left him, claiming that she couldn’t handle his lifestyle anymore. All the girls, all the cameras had become to much for her and as much as he loved it all he would trade it all to see her smiling face again. He sighed deeply as he walked further into the house. Everything in that house reminded him of her; even the smallest things would bring up a memory of her. Walking into the living room his eyes were drawn to the framed picture sitting atop of the TV. Slowly he picked it up and looked at it. She was so happy with him in this picture, what had made her change her mind?
*
“Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now…”
*
A tear slid down his cheek as he dropped to his knees. Why had she left him, how could she have done this to him? Did she not know how he felt about her; did she not feel the passion burning within him every time they were together? He was so helpless. He begged and pleaded with her to come back to him, that he would do anything to have her back at his side but nothing was going to change her mind. Had he done something wrong, did something he had said upset her in anyway? How could she leave him like this, he had never been so miserable in his life. He would give anything to see her, even if it was one more time. Just to tell her how he felt, to see if that passion in her eyes was gone. He looked at the picture once more. He thought that they would be together forever; he thought that she was the one. The one person he was meant to find in life, the one person he would marry someday. Had it all just been a lie? It had been a month already; he had been single for a month but he didn’t want to be single he wanted to be with her. “Why Bliss, why?” he asked, clutching the framed picture to his chest, hoping wherever she was she could hear his plea of desperation.
*
“I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains…”
*
For the first time in many years he truly felt alone, like there was not a single person in the world who could feel the pain circulating thru his broken heart. Of course around the guys he sucked it up he was a man, men didn’t cry over some girl but she wasn’t some girl she was his girl. He ran his fingers over the picture, over every curve of her body like he would if she was here with him right now. “Baby I love you so much, how could you do this to me?” he asked himself out loud, tears beginning to cloud his vision. The house just hadn’t been the same without her. He kept busy doing anything to get his mind off of her but somehow she always managed to grab his attention. God he would give anything to watch her dance around the living room to the loud music she loved to play and he hated to listen to but he would listen to it forever just to know she was here with him. Had he taken her for granted? He always assumed she would be here whenever he needed her, he always assumed that she would be around to go to award shows with him, to see their show one more time. Maybe he had assumed too much, maybe that was why she had left.
*
“You're gone...
You're gone...
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone...
You're gone…
You're...”
*
Feeling more miserable then ever, he decided to go to bed. Maybe he might actually get some sleep tonight, he did have a lot of packing to do. He just couldn’t bear to stay in this house anymore; it had far too many memories of her. Bringing his fingers to his lips, he kissed them and gently brushed them against the photo. “I love you baby. You don’t know what this is doing to me.” He quietly sobbed to himself before placing the picture in a small box and closing the lid. He took one last look at the box before he dragged himself up the stairs, still brushing away tears. Lifting his now shaky hand he slowly turned the knob to his bedroom and pushed open the door, still with hope in his heart that she was in there waiting for him. Peering inside the room his hopes drifted away at the sight of the cold, empty room that stood before him. A room that just a month before was so full of warmth and love was now cold and heartless. The only thing left in that room was the bed, everything else was in boxes that were careless laid around the room. “God Bliss would kill me if she saw this mess.” He quietly told himself, as his eyes drew to one box in particular. The box labeled, “Bliss’ stuff.” He walked over to it; grabbing the side he slowly dragged it over to the bed. Sitting on the corner of the bed he sighed deeply. Why was he doing this to himself? He knew what was in the box; he had put it there. Why did he continue to torture himself? Even with all of these questions running thru his head he leaned over and open the box. As the box lid slowly un-folded the scent of her perfume filled the air around him. Suddenly his eyes began to cloud with tears again. “I have to do this, I have to do this for her.” he told himself, taking a deep breath and reaching into the box. The first thing he came across, an old teddy bear with a blue ribbon loosely tied around its neck. He looked down at the bear and for the first time in nearly a month he smiled, not because he had to because he wanted to. Remembering how this teddy bear had brought her so much joy when he had given it to her.
*~ FLASHBACK ~*
“I want that one!” Bliss exclaimed. Justin looked at the happiness in her eyes at the sight of the little brown bear.
“Baby are you sure that’s the one you want?” he asked wanting to make her happy.
“Yea J. I want that one!” she repeated.
“Okay, you heard the lady that’s the one she wants.” Justin said to the guy at the carnival stand they were at. The short stocky man waddled over and grabbed the bear before walking back and handing it to Justin. “Thanks” Justin said taking the bear and turning to face Bliss. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of that bear, he didn’t know why but if it made her happy he was happy to be the one giving it to her. “Here you go angel face.” He said handing her the bear.
“Oh J I love it and I love you too.” Bliss answered happily taking the bear from him and falling into his arms.
“I love you too.” Justin said wrapping his arms around her and gently kissing the side of her head.
*~ END OF FLASHBACK ~*
That had been so long ago, nearly three years ago. Three and a half years of his life he had dedicated to no one but her and now she wasn’t with him. Looking down at the teddy bear he became enraged, not only did the bear bring good memories it brought painful ones as well. Throwing the bear across the room Justin buried his face into his hands; tears flowing freely down his face. Of all the things they had experience together this was one he wished he never had to experience.
*
“I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to”
*
*~ FLASHBACK ~*
“J why’d you move my bear?” Bliss asked looking at him. He sat on the couch, a large smile plastered across his face. Turning her back to him she picked up the little bear that sat atop the TV. At closer inspection she noticed something laced in-between the ribbon. Bringing it closer to her face she noticed a gold ring with a heart shaped diamond was laced thru the ribbon. “J what is this?” she asked turning to face him on the couch but he was no longer on the couch. He was now on bended knee in front of her. “What are you doing?” she asked confused.
“Baby I love you with all my heart,” he began, holding her hand from he was kneeled on the floor. “Will you marry me?” he asked looking at her.
The blue of her eyes had turned a gray color as her smiled slowly faded. “No.” she said firmly as she pulled her hand away from him. “I…I can’t” she said dropping the bear and running out of the house.
Justin stood in shock for a minute before he ran after her. When he got outside he found her in tears struggling with the keys to her car.
“Justin please don’t do this to me now.” She pleaded looking up at him.
“Don’t do this to you. I just proposed to you and you turned me down, the least I deserve is an explanation why.” He said still confused to why she had turned him down.
“Justin I…I just can’t handle this anymore. The fans, the press, and the cameras everywhere I go. I just need a private life right now.” She said. It hurt her to see the hurt in his eyes but she couldn’t do this anymore. ”Please I just need you to understand.” She said finally getting into her car and slowly pulling away. Justin caught one last glimpse of her before she sped away. If she didn’t want to be with him why was she crying? Justin’s heart tore in two as he saw his one true love drive out of his life.
*~ END OF FLASHBACK ~*
“I’m better off without her.” he tried to convince himself as he wiped the tears out of his eyes but even he knew in his heart it was a lie. If he truly was better off without her why was he so miserable. He could see the small ring shine from across the room, he still hadn’t un-tied it from around the bears neck.
*
“So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do
Yeeaah...”
*
Slowly he rose to his feet and walked over to where the bear had landed, catching a glimpse out of the window. He paused at the window and watched the snow slowly fall to the ground. Today was Christmas Eve and he was alone. Sure his family and the guys had invited him to spend the holidays with them but he just wanted to be alone, he needed to be alone. Finally looking away from the window he picked up the little bear, un-did the ribbon and slipped off the ring. Putting the ring into his pocket he walked back to the bed and placed the bear back into the box. Taking one last look in the box he closed it, sighing heavily as he did so. He laid back and closed his eyes trying to get some sleep but every time he shut his eyes he saw her face. He restlessly laid in bed for an hour before he heard a loud bang down the stairs.
“That has to be her, she’s come back to me,” Justin said as he leaped out of bed and ran down the stairs, two at a time.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs he saw the door wide open. “Hello?” he called repeatedly hoping she would answer him but the only answer he received was sheer and utter silence. Scanning the front hallway he noticed something that wasn’t there before, her jacket was now laying on the floor. Walking over he picked up the jacket.
“I can’t believe she forgot this. She never leaves anywhere without her jacket.” He said to himself, tears brimming his now pale eyes. Bringing the jacket closer to his face he inhaled the scent of her intoxicating perfume. God she loved this jacket. It wasn’t her jacket in actuality its was his but she took it from him claming it looked better on her and even though he hated to admit it, it was true. “That’s it.” He said to himself.
“I’ve got to get her back.” He said grabbing his keys and heading out the door not even realizing he was still clutching onto the jacket. He opened the driver’s side of his red Mercedes Benz and threw the jacket into the seat next to him before he got in and sped off.
*
“I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains…”
*
“Stupid snow, blocking up the fucking traffic.” He cussed to himself. He would never get to her in time if traffic kept up like this but he was determined to get her back. Leaning over he flicked on the radio, hopefully this would calm down his nerves, and man was he wrong. “Everyone has heard the buzz about the tragic split of Justin Timberlake and long time girlfriend Bliss…” Justin slammed his palm against the radio to shut it off that was the last thing he wanted to hear about. “God, its Christmas eve can’t they just leave me alone,” He said to himself fully know the answer to that question. Knowing that the lack of privacy was one of the reasons she had left him.
*
“You're gone...
You're gone...
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone... you're...
Gone
Ohhh...”
*
His eyes lit up for the first time in weeks as he saw his final destination nearing. “I know once she sees how miserable I am without her we’ll be back together, I know it.” He said very confidently to himself as he parked his car and got out. His confidence began to fade as he looked around. “What had she done to end up in a place like this?” he thought to himself as he walked up the narrow path leading to the iron gate. He slowly pushed open the gate and peered inside to find her exactly where he expected her to be.
*
“Oh what'll I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
We are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oohhh...”
*
He gathered every nerve running thru his body before he approached her. “Baby please just listen to what I have to say.” Justin began, he wanted to be sure he was heard. “I love you and when you turned me down I though it was the most painful thing you had ever done to me but then when you left me for good you proved me wrong. That was the most painful thing anyone had ever done for me. Baby you have to come back to me,” He said pausing for a second before he continued.
“I’ll do anything to be with you again, I’m miserable without you.” He said finally breaking down and dropping to his knees. Furiously wiping away tears his eyes met the cold marble that stood in front of him. She wasn’t coming back. As much as she wanted to come back or as much as he wanted her back there was no way she would be back.
*~ FLASHBACK ~*
“I’m so sorry J I love you so much.” Bliss said her voice breaking with every other word. Justin sat there in tears, clutching onto her hand. “Please J remember I’m always with you.” She said with every ounce of strength in her body.
“Baby you can’t leave me like this,” he said in tears wondering why this had to happen to her of all people. After she had left their house in tears her car had gone out of control and slammed into a light pole, it was a direct hit and now here they sat in the hospital.
“J I don’t have much…much longer…just…just remember I’ll always love you and I’ll…I’ll always be with you and maybe some…someday we’ll be to…together again.” Bliss said as Justin saw he eyes slowly flutter closed.
“Baby please, I forgive you, baby don’t leave me were suppose to be together forever, were gonna get married…baby no …” Justin said as he felt her give his hand one last squeeze. “Baby I love you, you can’t do this, I love you.” He said as he heard the heart monitor smooth into a single tone. She was gone.
*~ END OF FLASHBACK ~*
*
“I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains”
*
His eye stung from tears as he looked at the cold marble tombstone again. Looking at the jacket he held in his hands he stood up and draped it over the tombstone. As he did so her last words rang thru his head. “I’ll always be with you and maybe some…someday we’ll be to…together again.” He repeated those words to himself as he walked down the little path back to her car. A million thoughts ran thru his mind as he sped off. So many thoughts that he hadn’t even realized the red light he had just run. Cars honked in anger but he was in such deep concentration that he didn’t even notice. His thoughts ever drowned out the police sirens following him. Finally looking back at the road he noticed the large patch of ice nearing closer. Slamming the breaks the car swerved out of control; it spun uncontrollably until the driver’s side met with another car.
*
“You're gone...
“You're gone...
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone…”
*
He slipped back into consciousness long enough to grab the ring that was in his pocket. Clutching onto the ring he could hear the policemen asking him questions. The faint sounds of the ambulance sirens filled the air as he took his final breath. “I’m coming baby, now we’ll be together forever…” he said before letting his eyes shut.
*
“But the truth remains
You're...”
*
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