***
*Xtremjiggy*
8-1-2000
***
"Mr. Timberlake?" the graying doctor
questioned, gazing at the group
over
the top of his bifocals.
"Yes?" Justin jumped up, clutching Brittney's
hand with all he was
worth.
"Mr. Timberlake, could I see you in the other
room please?"
Justin looked a little confused. "Wh . . . ?"
"Mr. Timberlake," the doctor insisted.
"Please come with me."
Justin brought Brittney's hand to his lips and
kissed it forcefully
before
dropping her hand and following the doctor.
The doctor shut the door behind the two and
asked Justin to take a
seat.
He obliged.
"Tell me about my cousin," he demanded, tired
of waiting.
The doctor sighed. "Your cousin was the
victim of a Cocaine overdose.
From the decayed structure of her nose, I would say
she's been using
for
quite awhile. About a year or two now."
"Is she alive?" Justin choked out.
The doctor smiled. "Of course."
Justin's breath rushed out of his lungs in one
short spurt and a sob
escaped his throat. "Thank God," he whispered.
"Thank God."
"But if she keeps using, she probably won't be
ok," the doctor
continued.
"Now, they can't arrest your cousin because she didn't
have any illegal
drugs on her when she was brought in. The hospital,
however, offers
recovery plans . . ."
Justin held his hand up, silencing him.
"We're not from around here,"
he
said. "We're leaving tonight."
"Mr. Timberlake, I don't think . . ."
"No," Justin said, shaking his head and
standing up. "I can take care
of
my own cousin. She is my responsibility. Thank you
for your help."
He
stuck out his hand for the doctor to shake. "I'll be
taking her home
now."
"Mr. Timberlake I think that you should know
it is against my
professional
opinion . . ."
"Thank you, Doctor," Justin interrupted. "But
she'll be fine."
With that, Justin left the office, heading to
the Waiting Room to
inform
the others.
***
"God, Amber, what were you thinking?" Justin
asked, covering his face
with
his hands as he sat across from his cousin in the back
room on the bus.
She remained silent, watching her hands, which
were folded
complacently in
her lap, not looking up at him.
"Talk to me. What's going on?" His eyes
pleaded with her, but she
did not
heed the desperate emotion her cousin was feeling
emanating from the
baby
blues.
Amber shook her head. "Amber. Tell me."
Amber sighed. "It's just . . ."
"Start at the beginning, Amber. Why did you
start?"
She raised her eyes to his and stared into his
soul as she said her
next
words. "Because I needed something to take your
place."
Justin's mouth immediately closed and his
teeth clenched in pain.
'God,
it's my fault. It's my fault.'
"What do you mean?" he whispered.
"You left me, Justin. You left me alone in
the cold all by myself.
You
abandoned me for her. For Haley. I don't even like
Haley." She shook
her
head. "You left me for this. For your group, for
your career. You
started
bringing me along as a technicality, a formality, a
tradition. You
didn't
want me here. I'm not here because you wanted me
here. I'm here
because
you would feel a little twinge of guilt for leaving me
behind. You
left me
behind in the worst way." She pressed her lips
together bitterly.
"You
left me behind in your heart and that's something I
could never catch
up
to."
Justin was astounded. Not with her reasons,
exactly, but because of
the
truth he saw behind her reasons. She was right. He
had left her.
This was
his fault. It was all his fault.
"Oh, God, Amber, I'm sorry," he whispered,
tears coming to his eyes.
"This
is all my fault."
She looked at her grief-stricken cousin,
wondering if he should feel
so bad
about this. She leaned forward and hugged him softly.
"It's ok, Justin. It's not your fault. You
didn't mean to do it.
It's
not your fault."
"I didn't mean to do it, but I did it anyway.
I am so, so, so, so
sorry,
Amber."
She smiled sadly. "It's ok. It's over now.
It's all over."
***
