"You kiss someone in the morning and look forward to kissing them before you go to sleep. That's how it was when I woke up; I'd kiss her and look forward to kiss her when I went to sleep. Now I can no longer have that feeling. God took her away from me and why? I used to think I ran this perfect life that revolved around my insane friend's lives. And now I question how my life will be now. When I get home I won't see a pair of glowing green eyes and a smile waiting to greet me at the door. When I wake up I won't see her lying next to me with a golden glow outlining her body as if she was an angel. When I cry I won't have her arms wrapped around me and her soft pink lips kissing my forehead telling me everything will be okay. I won't ever hear her angelic voice singing in my ears throughout the house. All I have now is pictures and CDs. There is a part of me that is gone forever, that I will never have back. Do I forgive everyone for this? Do I forgive her for leaving me? Of course I do, because that's what she would want me to do. Forgive.
You know I wrote this thinking of how I could tell her I love her and know that she will be satisfied. She never cried when someone died in a movie or in life. She smiled and simply said they'll be with me soon and they are in a better place. She always cried at the simple things. Like when a daughter was being re-united with her father, or if something touched her. One night her and I were up late talking and I told her she made my life normal and she made my life worth living, and I had never seen her cry so hard. She told me that when she dies what will I do then. I sat there for a minute. I didn't know what to say, just the thought of her dying made tears invade my eyes. I told her when she died things would change. So here I am, is my life normal? Is part of me gone for good? No and yes, but I can only except that and move on. So as I stand here and cry in front of everyone, I wanted to say on behalf of Tiffany that even though she's gone, she still loves me, and she still loves you, and when your lying there in bed and feel warmness consume your body that's her telling you she loves you, telling you she's here and that she's thinking of you. And then you can cry, not because she's gone but because she loves you and she touched you.
I wanted to read something I wrote in my journal the day we married. I wanted to share this page with her on our 50th anniversary but I think today is only appropriate.
Journal:
Today I gave half of my soul away to this astonishing woman. When we were in elementary school she was my best friend. We were always together. No matter where we were it was she and I. Then once I hit junior high it was no longer she and I. It was she, Nina, my best friends, and I. She was just that girl that I talked to with my friends about. The one everyone wanted to get with. Now after I just made love to her as my wife and me as her husband I found out something else. I could never see another day right unless she was by my side. I have the hectic world around me. My friends aren't my friends anymore, my job isn't just my job anymore, and my love is stronger than ever. It doesn't seem to matter though because she's in my life. She told me once that when all the chaos that revolved around us was over, she would no longer be there. I laughed because I know we'll be together forever.
So now here I am beyond what the people would call love. It's something else. She's my soul mate, my angel, my heart, and my normalcy.
Justin Timberlake.
**
Everyone quietly took in Justin's words as a prayer. After years and years of Tiffany doing what's right to make her friend's lives better she sacrificed her own soul. Joey placed his hand on Nina's trembling shoulders and kissed Vanessa's forehead. He then placed it on Nina's stomach that was carrying their second child that they both decided they'd name Tiffany if it were a girl. JC placed a kiss on Lance's tear soaked cheeks and Chris was nowhere to be found everyone knew he felt guilty for what happened although it wasn't his fault. A moment passed and Chris appeared at the doorway of the church. He walked up to Tiffany and pressed his lips on her cold forehead.
"I'm so sorry." He cried aloud.
Everyone knew then and there that their angel was never coming back.
