** How could this happen? He was perfect, he was the spitting image of perfect…..and now, he’s dead! Gone. Just the same way I’d do it. Shove myself through a window and the crush of my bones and eternal organs surely would kill me, but Justin? I expected him to die at ago 85 with grandchildren and fucking Anjel by his damn side, or maybe even me….maybe. What am I going to do? He was the only thing that made me happy. He was my only salvation. I got up from where I was watching TV. My hand slid across my face and I wiped the tears that had and were flowing down my face. I just wanted to pull the butcher knife from the silver-wear drawer and slide it across my wrist slowly and watch the life trickle out of my body, but I couldn’t. I had to do something first. I pulled a pen and paper from my school folder and began to write. I didn’t know how I was going to do this, but I was determined. JC- Joey- Lance- and Chris~ My name is Amber and I suffer from bi-polar depression. About four years ago I watched you guys on the Disney Channel and I fell in love, especially with Justin Timberlake. I just watched the news and on the news it said Justin killed himself because the inner demons of his disease that he lived so long in privacy, bi-polar depression, were finished eating at his soul and tore at his heart till he was driven to the point of taking his own life. I know how it feels, and please look at it from our point of view…..please……the only way out is death, ever. Please understand- Amber I couldn’t write anymore. My hand was shaking uncontrollably… I placed the letter in the envelope and wrote ‘To The Guys’ on it. I was hoping to give it to Veronica. I felt bad with her favorite cousin just dying but I needed them to read this letter, it was important. ** “Have you seen JC?” Jazelle asked Chris who was taking a break from speaking with police. “Um no, he’s pretty upset though, I’d keep away if I were you.” Chris warned. “Thanks for the advice Chris.” Jazelle smiled slightly and walked out of the room to the elevators. She continued til she reached room ‘108’. She knocked at first and then knocked again. After about 15 minutes of no answer she opened the unlocked door. “JC?” Her voice rang throughout the room. No answer. “JC?” she repeated herself searching through his hotel room. “Go away!” She heard a voice hiss from the corner of his pitch-black hotel room. “JC, it’s Jazelle.” She said moving towards him. “I don’t care, please, go away.” She heard him cry. Jazelle walked up to JC and pulled his face up- his eyes were tinted blood shot red and tears were streaming from his eyes. His face was flushed and his body was cold. “JC.” Jazelle managed to gasp in a whisper. “How could he do this to me?” JC looked into his girlfriend’s eyes. “JC.” Jazelle continued to say his name, not really comprehending what to say to the 25 year old man crying before her. “Stop saying my name Jazelle and comfort me.” JC said shoving his face into his hands as Jazelle’s arms flew around his shivering body. ** ^^School on Monday^^ I can’t believe it. She’s at school. I watched Veronica glance at the thousands of students watching her. They all knew, they all watched the news over the weekend. I clinched the envelope in my right hand. I felt bad. I really did. “Um Veronica.” I spoke up after standing by her desk for about five minutes figuring out different strategies to approach her. “Yeah?” Veronica’s puffy green eyes moved up to my eyes. “Um, look, I’m very sorry about Justin.” I said not really knowing how to start the conversation, as long as she knew she had my condolences. Veronica was very popular. We had one class together and probably spoke twice through out high school and junior high. “Thank you Amber.” Veronica’s eyes darted back toward her homework that was sitting in front of her. I was amazed. She knew my name. “Um, Veronica, I’m terribly sorry but, can I ask you a question?” I spoke up again. “No, you cannot go to the funeral.” Veronica replied sharply without lifting her eyes. “No, that’s not what I wanted to ask.” I said now getting her eyes to meet mine once again. “Oh. Well, yeah I guess.” Veronica said. “When you leave, will you please give this to JC, Lance, Joey, and or Chris?” I handed her the envelope. “I can try.” She said shoving the envelope in her pocket. “Um, thank you.” I said, I could sense she didn’t want our conversation exceeding to the point it was already at. “mmmmhmmm.” She mumbled shooting her eyes directly back to her schoolwork.
