*** He was in my dream last night, you know, Justin. He was wearing a baby blue muscle shirt that sat above a pair of white pants. I love him in muscle shirts. Anyway, I dreamt he was at that party that Celeste invited me to. He went because his cousin Veronica, whom might I add goes to my school, begged him to go, and in my dream I was sitting in the corner pouting like I usually do at parties Celeste drags me to, anyway he walked up to me. His smile was extended from ear to ear . He asked me if I wanted to dance and of course I said yes, I mean hell, I don�t like the damn parties but, it was Justin. He held me as if every song was a slow song, never speeding up the pace of his dance steps, he just held me close. I felt his breath on the crease of my neck and my shoulder. I could smell the sent of his cologne. It was so comforting, I mean it felt so real. Then Anjel walked in. She was in a black halter top and a pair of dark denim studded jeans. I watched his eyes leave mine to meet hers. He let go of me. He took her hand and left the party. I instantly woke up and shot myself up. I stared at the blank TV for a minute then I eventually turned it on. It showed a very pretty girl on the screen. She probably stood at 5�5-5�7, she had bright green eyes that were detailed in flecks of amber and gray, and that were smothered in black mascara that was running down her face. The name Kyleigh Alexander was placed under the hysterical girl and it also said (witness), �I can�t believe he�s gone, one minute there, the next gone, I mean the worst part about it is, I was a fan, and I saw it.� That drew my attention. Who died? How? Why? Tell me. Tell me. I watched in anticipation as the next girl came on. She was also very pretty. She had her hands wrapped around that girl, Kyleigh�s, arm, I assumed they were friends. Her dark brown hair lied next to her watery gray eyes. Her blue T-shirt read �Ambercrombie and Fitch�. Justin, I thought when I saw her wearing that shirt. He loves A&F. Then I snapped my attention back to the crying girl on TV. �Your name is?� I heard a reporter ask her. �Alaina Penning.� She cried. �What are your thoughts Alaina?� The reporter asked. �I�m shocked, I mean never did it ever occur to me this would happen. I mean a happy, healthy, beautiful person, and now, they�re gone, you�d never expect it.� She said shaking her head then placing into Kyleigh�s shoulder. �WHO THE HELL IS IT!?� I felt myself scream, beginning to become very impatient with this TV program. �Well, tune in about 15 minutes, and we�ll give you more information about the Justin Timberlake Suicide.� My heart dropped, and so did the remote. *** Chris looked at the broken glass. He picked up one piece. He looked at it then gripped it tightly as it punctured his skin. He let the blood drizzle down his arm as well as the tears flowing down his face. �Why� He thought to himself. He looked back at the sobbing girl on the floor then walked to her. �It�s okay Abby.� Chris said wrapping his arms around Abby. �No. It�s not. Where the hell is Anjel?� Abby�s faced pulled up from her hands. She was so upset, she needed to take her rage out on someone, someone like Anjel. �Why?� Chris asked. �Where is she?� Abby said taking hold of Chris�s shirt. �I�m not sure Abby.� Chris pulled away from Abby and looked back up at the hole in the window. It somewhat resembled his heart. A hole. A piece of his heart that was taken from him, like Justin. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ �Dude, Chris, YOU SO LOST!� Justin screamed jumping up and down. �Justin, it was beginners luck.� Chris rolled his eyes at the young 16 year old boy that was jumping around their tour bus. �Nope, I rule, you suck, OLD MAN!!� Justin yelled laughing and pointing at Chris. �You want to get beat up don�t you curly?� Chris said making his voice deep and intense with a threatening manor. �You can only beat me up if your slow ass can catch up with me.� Justin laughed. �Oh.� Chris stood up causing Justin to stand up too and run to the first exit he could find. Justin felt his feet move faster and faster the closer Chris ever got to him. He laughed wildly as Chris tried profusely to keep up with Justin. Finally Justin decided he wouldn�t look back, he�d just run. Run. So he wouldn�t deal with the consequences of being caught, sure enough, he never was. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- �That�s how it always was huh Justin?� Chris looked up at the sky through the hole of his 15 foot story hotel room, �It was always the easy way out, never get caught, just run.� Chris then felt two arms wrap around his body and warm lips kiss his shirt. He turned around to see Cordelia, his girlfriend of 5 years. He looked at her eyes for a moment, they were so piercingly crystal blue. Her eyes welded with tear as did his. They both held each other and cried into each others arms. Cordelia finally pulled her head from Chris�s chest. �I�m worried about Abby.� Cordelia said. �Why?� Chris asked wiping the tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. �She�s looking for Anjel, and it�s not sadness or pain in her eyes, it�s anger and revenge.� Cordelia�s eyes grew when she said anger. �What do you think she�s going to do? Kill her?� Chris asked. At the moment Abby stormed in the room with her hand wrapped around Anjel�s neck. Anjel fought to pull Abby�s hand away from her but Abby was too mad. Abby pushed Anjel past Chris and Cordelia and strait to the hole that was in the middle of Justin�s hotel room. �Stop Abby!� Anjel cried. �Look down there!� Abby pushed Anjel�s head towards where Justin had fallen a couple of hours before. �No.� Anjel closed her eyes. �You fucking did that you stupid bitch, you did!� Abby screamed pushing Anjel closer to the window seal. �Fuck you!� Anjel screamed extending her hard balled up fist to Abby�s face, sending Abby�s hand and body backwards, �DONT EVER FUCKING SAY THAT AGAIN!� Chris took hold of Anjel as Cordelia took hold on Abby, �Look girls, it�s neither ones fault, you both read the letter, you both know the truth, now stop!� Cordelia said trying to calm the girls down. *** Momma-JC, Chris, Lance, Joey, Anjel, Abby, Cordelia, Jazelle, Veronica, and Nina- My closest most personal friends. I woke up this morning and I had this urge. This urge to take a knife and slide it across my wrists. Just so I can watch the blood pour out of my body onto the floor. I know, phsyco huh? I never told anyone this, not even Abby, but guys, I suffer from what you call Bi-Polar Depression, and for a while I was taking Prosaic, but it was affecting my performance on stage, so I stopped. It was going good for a while but, the longer it was the worse it hit when it did. I have something tell all of you. Momma- I am so ashamed to write to you....how disappointed you must be in me- I�m sorry for all of my let downs- I�m sorry for this, I love you Momma, more than words can say. JC- You are my best friend in the whole world. We�ve shared so many good times together.....don�t ever forget Las Vegas....anyway- thank you for the wisdom and encouraging words JC. You are my older brother- and my mentor. Chris- So many words to describe me and you...haha....I remember when we went to Baywatch and we kept walking into the middle of the serious scene�s doing our Baywatch run and eventually we got kicked off, those were the times I missed, haha, I love you man. Lance- Lance, I feel terrible, I mean although you are one of my best friend sometimes I feel like you and I never connected in a way me and the other guys did- but I think that�s why you can be my favorite person at times- you�re the only one I know won�t say...�Justin I taught you better than that� Joey- Remember that talk we had about a week ago or so- about sex, I know that the right decisions were and will be made- I know you and I are smart enough to know that now. I love you, and keep your head up. Anjel- My precious Angel, you are my savior- I know that you and I have had our fights- and please don�t think in anyway I did this because of the fight we got into last night- I did this because of my inner problems. I love you so much and don�t ever forget that. Abby- I know you are so upset with me right now- but I had to, I needed to be free- do not have to worry about mixed feelings or the thoughts I drowned in every night when I tried to go to sleep. Just think- no more sleepless nights for Justin. I love you. Veronica- My favorite Cousin- you are the best person in the world. You made my days bright- but this day the sun had to go down. And lastly Cordelia- Nina- and Jazelle- You three better take care of my friends or I will haunt you!! haha- I know you�re not laughing right now- but please let them be safe, make sure they�re happy- and don�t EVER let them mislead you. Thanks for all the great times. So now you all know- I had to go. I�m not longer happy having diamonds- and girls falling at my feet, I�m no longer happy breathing. If I cannot be happy- why am I here right? Why do I cry myself to sleep? I�m crying right now. This is SO selfish- I�m so sorry..... I love you all Justin R. Timberlake ***
