The Second Reason
By: Sunshine
Kyo chewed on his fingernail, feeling antsy. He’d already used a bottle and a half of hairspray and still he was unsatisfied with his ‘do. He ran his tongue over his piercings and felt frustrated. "Whoa," Kaoru called from behind him. "I know that look Kyo. What’s wrong?"
Kyo glared a little at the mirror and turned around to face the guitarist. "My hair is being rebellious." He thought for a moment and added "In a bad way."
"I thought it looked pretty hot," Kaoru said as he pulled off his cut-off gloves and began to run his fingers through the huge blonde hair. Kyo’s mood worsened before the other man was finished, but upon further reflection he was fairly satisfied. "How’s that?"
"Cool," Kyo allowed. "How much longer ‘til we go on?"
"Still a half an hour." Kaoru told him, sliding his gloves back on and collapsing in a chair. He stretched his long legs out onto another chair across from him and put his hand on his forehead. "How are you doing?"
"I’m restless."
"You’re always restless, energy ball. Why don’t you eat or take a nap or something?" the gold-ish tinge to Kaoru’s hair glinted in the room’s ugly yellow lighting as he turned his head and nearly gouged himself on some spikes on his shoulder. "Crap," he muttered. Kyo looked surprised.
"I do more things than eat and sleep, Kao-kun." He said indignantly. "Why are you in such a mood?" Everyone else was gone that day, off doing something or other for a magazine or other television show. They’d been split up – Toshiya posing for some magazine, Die and Shinya answering questions at some conference and he was stuck with Kaoru doing a television interview that didn’t start for another half hour.
"I’ve got a headache." The leader of Dir en Grey announced with a wince. "They want us to perform a song and I have no idea how they intend us to do that without any other members of the band."
"Yeah, I guess so." Kyo said, thinking. "I can sing and you can play guitar. I’m sure we could figure it out." He reapplied nail polish to the nail he’d been biting and stood, wandering around the room.
"Nah, fuck it." Kaoru said. "I’m so bushed."
"Why?"
"Went out drinking with Die last night," he filled in.
"So that’s why you have a headache," Kyo said. "Damn, where was I?"
"Out with that chick."
"What chick?" Kyo tried hard to remember but with no success.
"Don’t tell her that." Kaoru warned. A smile spread on his strong features as he began to massage his temples in an attempt to disperse the headache. "Where’d you wake up?"
"In my bed. Alone. You?" Kyo yawned a little and pushed Kaoru’s feet off of the other chair with his boot before sitting down on it.
"Stay put for once, Kyo." Kaoru said. "You’re always hyper."
"So where’d you sleep?" Kyo continued, undaunted. He squirmed around in his chair a little just to piss the guitarist off.
"I have no idea," Kaoru mumbled quietly.
"What? Where’d you wake up then?"
"Die was pulling me off of the floor at 7 a.m. this morning at his place. He tried to explain what happened to me but I really have no idea." Kaoru pulled out a cigarette and shrugged, lighting it with a faraway look in his eyes.
"Man, you’re starting to make me look tame. Are you on some sort of a bender lately Kao?" the shorter man asked, trying to sit still despite the fact that he had a huge urge to get up and wander again. He’d used to hang out with Kaoru all the time but lately he felt like their closeness was wanting. He grabbed the cigarette from his band mate mid puff and took a drag.
"Just stressed I guess." Kaoru said. "Hey, you’re wearing green contacts today. Are those new?"
Kyo grinned his best maniacal grin and nodded. "You’re damn right they are. How much longer?"
"Uh, twenty minutes." Kaoru said, checking the watch he’d put back on over his gloves. "Seriously, all you’re wearing is a pair of overalls. You’d think that you could manage to work a watch into your accessories."
"Not unless the watchband was made of safety pins. Check this out." He turned around and revealed that he’d formed about a hundred safety pins into the kanji for "Kyo" on the back of the black PVC overalls.
"Pretty sweet. Those overalls look really good on you, by the way."
Kyo beamed and, discovering that he couldn’t bear to sit any longer, went to go open the door. "I’m going for a walk," he announced as he grabbed the door handle. Jiggling it, he found it was locked. "What the fuck?" he blinked and then glared at it, jiggling it again. "Kaoru, what the hell’s with this thing?"
"Dunno," Kaoru said as he stood and yanked at the handle himself. "Oh great, this is just great. After the life I’m having lately," he sighed and banged on the door a few times before slumping onto the ground.
"What kind of life are you having recently anyway?" Kyo asked as he beat his fists against the door, calling for some sort of assistance. "You and I haven’t been hanging out much lately."
"I’m just so tired and stressed, Tooru," Kaoru said, surprising him by addressing him by his real name. Kyo glared, then remembered that the only time Kaoru ever referred to him by his first name was when he was about to launch into a drunken sob-fest. His heavily made-up eyes widened.
"Kao-kun, what’s up?" he slid onto the floor next to his friend and appeared concerned. "Dude, you can talk to me."
"Record company called yesterday and bitched about how I haven’t given them enough new material lately." He told the smaller man. Kyo raised an eyebrow and ran his fingertips over the spikes around his mouth thoughtfully.
"You haven’t asked anyone else to write anything yet have you?"
"I like to wait for them to be inclined themselves." Kaoru said thoughtfully. "And you always write the lyrics so you’re a huge help already."
Kyo yawned a little and thumped his fist against the door again. "Yeah, I guess you’re true. I’ll help if you want me to, you know that right?"
"Sure Kyo. Thanks."
"Next time, invite me drinking too." The younger man scolded. "Hey, is that Morning Musume coming over the speakers in here?"
Kaoru cocked his head to the side and listened. "Yeah, that would be them." He said. Kyo stood and began banging his fists on the door again.
"Help! We’re stuck in here! Get me out before I go insane!" he yelled. Kaoru laughed and shook his head. "Not Morning Musume!"
"You’re not a fan then? I’m so surprised!" Kaoru commented, yawning and trying to rub around the makeup on his eyes sleepily.
"Chicks suck." Kyo said.
"What about guys, then?" Kaoru asked suddenly. He wondered where he’d stuck his cigarette. It was lying in a glass ashtray, burnt to the butt. "Crap," he mumbled. "I’m so out of it I forgot to smoke?"
"Yeah, that’s pretty out of it," the short blonde man agreed. "I think you’re a little too stressed. Kick your feet up and relax for once. We should go do something together once we get out of here. It’s not like you have to worry about anything else for today, right?"
"Sure." Kaoru smiled at him, the first true smile that he’d smiled in weeks. "So let’s find a way out." He looked down at his watch. "Two minutes till we go out on stage, man."
"Well, if nothing else we’ll miss the interview and people will come looking to see why. Right?"
"I couldn’t care less if they did right now. It’s fun watching you fight with the door."
"Dick." Kyo threw himself against the door again as someone called his name on the other side of it. "Hello? Hello, this is Kyo. We’re locked in here. Some help please?"
Kaoru stood and went to listen at the door along side his band mate. "Hello, hello. Kaoru Niikura here, can you open the door please?"
There was some harsh joggling and a sigh of exasperation from the other side. "Okay," Kaoru called. "You pull, we’ll push." A mumble of agreement came from the other side. Kaoru turned around and faced Kyo with a smile, Kyo grinned right back.
"One, two, three."
Kyo flailed as the door burst open and it took him a second or two to figure out what had happened. "Hi there," he said to the man below him. Kaoru blinked up at him, rubbing his head. The blonde man was lost in happy thoughts of being close to his best friend again when an assistant pulled him to his feet. "Very sorry about that," they were saying. "Really truly sorry. We’ll make it up to you." Kyo felt bewildered standing there wondering what they needed to repay him for. Kaoru’s body had been warm and solid beneath him and Kyo felt magnetically attracted to falling asleep right there on his chest, or maybe something else… He yanked the guitarist to his feet and brushed him off.
"My head –really- hurts now. At least your fall was broken." Kaoru told him as he followed the vocalist out onto the stage.
And how! Kyo thought with a grin. "It would have been better if you weren’t such a skinny fucker," Kyo whispered to him. "I got your bony hip right in the crotch."
"Serves us right then, hmm." Kaoru said. They sat on the stage and waved to the audience, Kyo reverting to crazier-than-you-can-shake-a-spork-at mode and Kaoru’s eyes smoldered quietly. Kyo looked over at him and gave him a look that made him almost fall off the chair. Was that supposed to mean what it looked like it was?
Kyo said hi to the interviewer and began discussing what he was up to lately. When asked whether or not he currently had a girlfriend he shook his head and blushed ubiquitously while some girl screamed his name in the audience. His head swiveled around. "Kyo!" she called. "Remember last night?"
He looked over at Kaoru pointedly and then up at the girl. "Uh, no?" he said apologetically. Kaoru rubbed his back a little with his fingertips, moving closer against him for support. Kyo turned back to the interviewer and laughed a little crazily, running his hands through the blonde hair that his band mate had set so perfectly for him. He explained where the other members were and that they were busy thinking up songs lately. Kaoru eventually tapped him on the shoulder to cut him off and waved a guitar under his nose.
"Hmm?" Kyo asked, looking Kaoru up and down thoughtfully.
"Taiyou no Ao." The guitarist whispered. "Hai?"
Kyo smiled and nodded. "Sure, if you’re okay for it." He said. The bandleader really was looking terribly strained that day and Kyo felt that he should be relieved of some of the stress. Still, Kaoru was the type who wanted to take on the world – Kyo just wanted to take it over. He ran his tongue along his piercings again and prepared to give it his all. Once upon a time he’d attempted to go over the edge and scare Kaoru any way he knew how. Now he knew Kaoru accepted him whatever he did and that gave him incentive to make the older man proud. He liked that Kaoru didn’t care if he was covered in blood or if he was wearing a skirt or a pair of overalls. Kaoru, he thought as he began to sing, knew him just the way he was. Cut through all the bullshit and there you have it, pure unadulterated Kyo, only for Kaoru to see.
The fact that Kaoru was playing an acoustic made it seem as if he was seeing some unadulterated Niikura as well, but he wanted to see more. He felt his lips moving but was unaware of what exactly was going on as he sang the song. He could see the girl in the audience staring at him, being dragged away as she tried to come on stage, but it lay as a vague blur in his distracted mind. Kyo was somewhere else, thinking about something – or someone – else. He smiled softly over at his band mate as the song ended and he sat back on his stool, ready for more questions. Kaoru brushed against him and the blonde man shivered.
"Well, that sucked," Kyo said as they exited the building as fast as their legs would take them afterwards. "That was just a mess, I’d have to say."
"Didn’t you like the song?" Kaoru asked as they hopped into the guitarist’s car and drove off, trying not to hit rabid fans along the way.
"Didn’t you like the chick I was with last night? Total disaster. She didn’t even mean anything to me and here she is announcing crap like that while I’m in an interview." Kyo sighed and chewed on his fingernails again. "Pass me a cigarette."
"You’re such a cig-bummer. Why don’t you buy your own pack for once?" Kaoru scolded as he drove down a long, straight road. "Where are we going, anyway?"
"First, we’re going to eat. Pull in over here at the Chinese food place. Whatever you want, let’s get it to go." Kyo, being as screwy as he was, was a man with a plan. He could do whatever he wanted and Kaoru wouldn’t mind, of course not. Therefore he was going to reacquaint himself with the guitarist and put all of the anxiety out of both his own and the guitarist’s minds. He mentally rubbed his hands together.
Loaded down with fried rice and something containing lemon chicken, Kyo hopped into the car excitedly. "Drive!" he ordered as Kaoru tossed his own bag of egg rolls and chicken balls onto the vocalist’s lap. The older man looked at him inquisitively and shook his head.
"Why?"
"Where am I driving to, Kyo?" he asked, waving his slim, long fingers around for emphasis. "The wild blue yonder?"
"Your place." Kyo said firmly. He lay back; looking smug he then fell asleep.
An insistent hand shook him about like a rag doll. "Rarr!" he growled upon being woken up. He swiped at the arm that was pushing his shoulder. "What the hell ne? Oh, it’s just you. Hi Kao-Kao." He rubbed his face and looked in the rear view mirror to make sure his makeup was still on straight. His overall strap had slid off his shoulder at one point and he looked a little naked. There was a warm spot where the food had been sitting on his lap. "Hey, do you have my food too? You went and stuck your hand on my lap! Hentai!" Kyo laughed evilly and stood, stretching.
Kaoru shook his head and turned to head towards the place he called home. Kyo sauntered in behind him, ready to execute his plan. "Mou, not another answering machine message!" Dropping the take out on the island counter in the kitchen, the older man pressed the button on his machine and grimaced. Kyo had never seen him look so upset as he listened.
"Niikura Kaoru. We expect new material from your band very soon, just in case you’ve forgotten. While you are a large enough band for us to want to keep you, we demand that new songs be shown to us in order to restore our faith that you are still musicians and not just flashy icons. This is your last warning. Beep."
"Fuck!" Kaoru yelled, fisting the back of his couch. "What the hell am I going to do?" he grabbed his cigarette box, pulled out three of them and noticed his hands were shaking so much that he dropped them all over the floor. Crouching down to pick them up, he collapsed and began to sob.
Kyo looked absolutely stunned; for once in his life he was seeing the great Kaoru Niikura cry and he’d had no real warning. While he didn’t usually approve of tears in anyone, he completely let it go for the golden-haired man. Kaoru always approved of him, no matter what. He could afford the same courtesy. "Kao-kun, you silly thing! You mustn’t be upset," Kyo began earnestly. He settled down to the floor, looking at the cigarettes with a sense of regret before he hugged his best friend. Kaoru actually looked quite pretty when he cried, the blonde thought.
"I’m so fucked. My life is going straight to hell, Tooru," Kaoru told him sadly. "I can’t get my act together. Do you know I think I tried to go home with some guy last night? Some random guy, as in let’s just get out of here and do it like horny bunnies then never talk again. I’m not like that. I’m just so depressed and my stress level is sickening. I don’t think I can handle it anymore."
Kyo looked at him sympathetically, wondering what he could possibly say to make the good-looking man next to him feel better. He gave Kaoru a little kiss on the cheek, leaving a black lip imprint. "Kaoru, you’re being crazy. I’m the one who pulls shit like that; I’m the one who gets into huge messes. You’re the one who always pulls me out. Let’s not be switching roles here."
"I wish I could help you, Kyo. It’s just that I’m not fit to anymore. I wished so much I could have helped you today, you know that? When that girl started asking you things I wanted to say, screw you; he’s got other plans! I didn’t though, I just listened to you brush it off smoothly and felt stupider than before."
The smaller man was at a loss. He had never been expected to really come through for someone before, not like this. He had always thought that all that his life consisted of was singing, eating and sleeping plus the odd fantasy about dear Kaoru-sama. His Kaoru-sama, he realized then. It was his job to look out for someone he cared about so much sometimes; it had to be. "Kaoru, do you remember how today we shoved the door through together?"
"Sure," Kaoru said, his beautiful features twisted in emotional distress.
"Ano…" Kyo paused, wondering how to say it. "We helped each other out, right? We escaped the scourge of Morning Musume together. We did it together. We’re there for each other."
Kaoru gazed at him thoughtfully, his makeup all over his cheeks in runny smudges. "Hmm, hai." He agreed with a sigh. "We just haven’t been there for each other enough lately."
Kyo nodded, running his hands through his Kaoru-styled hair. He couldn’t think of what else to say, except that he knew that the almond-eyed man facing him was experiencing some sort of catharsis through this. He held the musician against his chest and began to sing ‘Mushi’ to him in order to allow him to let it all go. He was a vocalist; he had always tried to do his best in this way to make Kaoru proud. His eyes closed as he continued to sing, enjoying the feeling of Kaoru’s arms wrapped around his torso in order to hug him in return. By the time he finished singing, the butterflies in his stomach had reached his throat. The way that Kaoru felt against him – the way that Kaoru had felt beneath him – the way that Kyo had always tried to please him – it was all beginning to make sense to the tiny vocalist. He was a singer and as words were his field, he knew the one that suited Kaoru in his mind. "Koi". Realizing that Kaoru had stopped sobbing and was breathing normally now, he sat up straight in response to the initial shock of it all.
"Mn, Kyo," Kaoru said as he separated his cheek from the PVC overalls and inhaled air deeply. "Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I needed that. What did you want to come here for anyway?"
"There are two reasons, my dear Kaoru. I’m not going to tell you the second," Kyo said, climbing to his feet and grabbing a guitar from the corner of the living room. "Come sit on the couch."
"What, you weirdo?" Kaoru asked as he grabbed the Chinese food and set it on the coffee table. "You hungry?"
"Hai, of course I am. This is me we’re talking about. You and I are going to spend the rest of the day writing songs, okay?" He handed the main composer for Dir en Grey his instrument and went to grab a few sheets of paper and a pen. "We’re going to hazard it out here for as long as it takes. I’ll get the lyrics down as you write the music and then I’ll help you if you’re stuck too. Got that?"
Kaoru looked flabbergasted, then ultimately touched. "But… okay." He nodded and began to practice some scales to warm up his fingers as Kyo grabbed some chopsticks and bowls.
They’d finished one whole song by the time Kyo essentially finished his half of the food. He’d been talking Kaoru through it, writing and crossing out till his fingers were numb. The vocalist didn’t think he’d ever cared so much in his life about paying attention to one thing for a long period of time. Every so often moments of silence would arise wherein Kyo felt himself drown in Kaoru’s searching gaze.
Into the second stanza of the second song, he was nodding and encouraging the guitarist when Kaoru leaned over his guitar and kissed him gently on the lips. Kyo blinked once, twice, hurled the guitar onto the floor and returned the favour with ferocious zest, shoving the older man onto his back and preparing to molest him.
"What was that for exactly?" he asked when he bothered to breathe again. Kaoru beamed at him and was silent for a moment.
"I was thinking, Kyo. You’re right. We are there for each other. We should be there for each other. I think we can leave the crappy time we’ve been having behind lately and look towards the present." Kaoru stroked Kyo’s shoulder anxiously while the little blonde man drew a blank. "You…"
"Koi," the vocalist said expressionlessly.
"Hmm?" Kaoru asked, having not quite heard.
"Aishiteru, Niikura Kaoru-sama." Kyo said more plainly. His liquid brown eyes bored holes into the elder man. The calloused fingers of the talented guitarist stroked Kyo’s cheek with gentle fascination and then he pulled the overall-clad male into his arms and kissed him again and again on his painted lips.
"Kyo," Kaoru said after a moment, when the blonde hair rested in his lap. "Be mine. You’re so very special to me."
"I will," Kyo said sternly. "But only if you’ll love me the way I am."
"I’ll show you loving you just the way you are." Kaoru told him . "Just take your clothes off."
"What?" Kyo was startled but happy to comply. "How come?" he asked cheekily.
"They aren’t who you are." Kaoru said knowledgably. "I know you just the way you are, Kyo. Under all the makeup and safety pins and piercings, I know you for the man you are. I love that about you, Kyo." He considered for a moment before adding, "Those lip piercings really are quite hot though."
Kyo grinned a hentai little grin. "Test drive them, then." He pushed Kaoru onto his back and straddled him in the same fashion he had earlier that day, eager to continue into where he’d imagined they would head. He ran the metal across Kaoru’s chin and neck and then began to unlace, unbuckle, unbutton and yank at Kaoru’s clothes. He bit at expanses of muscle he found along the way, allowing his now naked body to slide along his new koibito’s as he headed south. Kaoru smirked and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair, laughing.
"Your hair’s tickling me," Kaoru said before letting Kyo’s head go again.
"Oh yeah?" Kyo moved down to Kaoru’s now erect cock and began to sweep his hair back and forth across it. The guitarist shuddered and squirmed a little, his eyes closed. He felt the warm, delicate skin of Kaoru’s member against the silver that adorned his mouth when he began to lick and stroke it.
"Kyo, you wonderful little…" Kaoru murmured as the vocalist proved just exactly how powerful his throat was.
"I’ll show you little!" Kyo muttered indignantly. Kaoru’s long fingers grabbed his naked rear end and eased him around on the couch to face the other way. When he felt the golden-haired man’s lips on him, he nearly went insane. "Oh…you’re forgiven, Kao-Kao…very forgiven. Just keep doing exactly what you’re doing."
Still nestled between the guitarist’s legs, he continued his part of the whole situation with fervor. As he sucked, he considered the taste and tried to remember how he’d always imagined it tasting. "A little saltier than I might have thought," Kyo told his lover. "Good though." Kaoru’s hand slapped his butt in return and the shorter man laughed. "Come over here and do that, Niikura!" Kyo dared. All at once he was on his back beneath his koibito. Kaoru’s lips tasted his gently and began to work his way downwards, running his tongue over Kyo’s body slowly. Kyo felt himself twisting beneath his guitarist, moaning with all the strength that he had in his lungs. "Kaoru," he called.
"Hai, koi…?" Kaoru asked as he nibbled on some of the skin about Kyo’s firm abs. "I just want to repay you for doing all of this for me, today… always…"
Kyo dug his black-painted fingernails into his band mate’s sofa and whimpered. "I know, but I’m going to make a huge mess all over you if you keep that up."
"Do you want me to do something else?" Kaoru asked as he slid a finger inside the younger man. "Like this?"
"Do exactly that." Kyo groaned, arching his back so violently he nearly fell off the couch. "But," he said when he could actually breathe again. "Do it with something else."
"Are you sure?"
Pale hair bobbed as he nodded emphatically. "Kaoru," he murmured. "Take me."
Kaoru played Kyo as well as he might a guitar. He kneeled before the blonde man, bare feet tucked beneath his own bum as he pulled the other man up his thighs and pressed into him forcefully. The initial sensation of tearing and unforgiving heat caused him to gasp and dig his strong fingers into Kyo’s sides.
Kyo cried out in pain, his voice breaking a little. "Oh, Kaoru," he said as the man inside him paused to allow him to adjust to the feeling. "Keep going, please! Just keep going. It hurts like a bitch."
Kaoru complied and as he began to rock his hips into the shorter man he felt his band mate relax within his grasp and then begin to move in time with him. He bent down and kissed the younger man as he writhed, running his lips across Kyo’s piercings. "Okay now, Kyo?"
"Absolutely incredible," Kyo gasped. "I never want to be with a girl ever again."
"Then be with me," Kaoru said as he began to thrust faster and supported Kyo’s arching back with his hands. In his arms was a man he knew better than anyone else in the world; he saw parts to Kyo no one else ever did. He adored the way Kyo’s firm body writhed against him and electrified when it caused him to lose himself farther into the delicate ring of heat. "Oh god Kyo," he cried out.
"Harder Kaoru!" Kyo said. He reached up and gripped the golden mane, trying to steady himself and hang onto a little piece of the world, as he seemed to leave it. He felt as if he was coming again and again endlessly as Kaoru plunged into him repeatedly. It was almost too much for the blonde man to handle. The shock and sensation of the warm liquid being released from the other man filling him after an eternity was far too much and the name "Kaoru" ran out melodically through the house as he dug his fingertips into the guitarist’s shoulders and let go.
"Kyo?" Kaoru panted a moment later. Kyo was practically comatose at the time, lost in the events of the last hour or so. "Kyo?"
"H-ai…" Kyo heaved. "Oh my god." He blinked at the sunlight streaming in from some far away window and attempted to pull himself up painfully. "I had no idea you could do things like that Kao-Kao."
"I’ll run you a bath," Kaoru told him gently. "It was okay?"
"Aishiteru, Kaoru." The vocalist told him in return. "Very much."
"Aishiteru, Kyo-kun. Look, you make me forget about everything else. Like smoking, for that matter." The older man was standing behind the couch, staring at the pile of cigarettes on the floor while he shook his head. "You really are something else Kyo."
The little blonde man looked at the streaks of black that adorned Kaoru’s body from where his lipstick had gotten all over. He snickered to himself, stared down at the cigarettes on the floor then down at his clothes and sighed happily before curling up nakedly on the couch and chewing on his fingernail. Kaoru shook his head and wandered towards the bathroom.