Ma Cherie: Chapter Eight
Author: Scarlet Kozi
It was late at night when Gackt returned home, a few days later. He was weary. The last customer he'd entertained had been one of the ones who took up so much of his time, because they were never satisfied and refused to let him go until they'd gotten him to do EVERYTHING to them. Gackt was used to those ones. The only good thing about them was that they paid relatively well. Gackt hadn't spent that much time with Klaha, but even if he had, he wouldn't have to worry, because he'd made more than enough money today.
Slowly, Gackt walked into his apaato, locking the door behind him.
"Gaku-chan."
That soft, almost cold voice. Gackt blinked, and looked up as he pushed his hair out of his eyes, to see Shinya standing there in the living room. The boy was dressed in a long dark blue kimono, his dark hair perfectly arranged. He apparently hadn't done much work today, for he didn't look too disheveled. Gackt felt a bit messy by comparison, in his rumpled black kimono and with his hair mussed up by the customer. But he didn't care that much. He could tell that Shinya had just recently had sex with someone, even though he'd tried to clean himself up. Gackt had a knack for being able to tell this sort of thing, even though he wasn't proud of it. "Shinya," he only said. He quickly composed himself, running a hand through his hair.
Sometimes the others would come by, when they had the time and didn't have to work. Gackt had to work almost every waking moment, so he didn't usually have the chance to spend time with them. Yoshiki was usually in there with them anyway, manipulating them. Gackt was used to that. "What are you doing here?"
Shinya seemed almost sad. "I'm leaving. I won't come back."
Gackt came forward, his brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I'm leaving." Shinya shook his head. "There isn't a better way to explain it."
Gackt swallowed hard. "But how? Why?"
"I've fallen in love."
Now Gackt was even more surprised. To think of Shinya in love ... Shinya had never seemed as though he was able to fall in love, or as though he was interested in it. He was one of Yoshiki's favorites, but unlike Gackt, he was less fazed by the fact, because Yoshiki acted more normally to him than to Gackt. Nonetheless it was odd to think of Shinya being on his way out. "In ... In love with who?"
"His name is Heath. You don't know him." A slight smile came onto Shinya's face to think of him. "He's older than I am, but he respects me. He loves me also, and he wants me to come with him away from all of this. I'm tired of it, Gaku-chan. I can't do this anymore. Neither could Mana."
Gackt winced slightly. He still missed Mana. Two weeks ago Mana had quit also, but for different reasons. He had been too frail.
Neither Shinya nor Mana were going to be prostitutes any longer, then. Gackt's heart sank to think of it. He knew that besides himself, Shinya and Mana were the most important people in Yoshiki's life. Yoshiki seemed to be the most occupied with Gackt, in his odd way which was full of hatred and yet possession, but when Mana had left, he'd seemed almost distressed. Gackt didn't want to think of what would happen now that Shinya was leaving also. "Does Yoshiki know?" he questioned Shinya carefully, adjusting his kimono idly.
Shinya nodded. He seemed almost sad again. "I told him today. He's in the other room."
Gackt stared past Shinya, at the slightly ajar bedroom door.
Shinya came forward now, and put his hands on Gackt's arms. "Good luck," he whispered softly into Gackt's face, even though his expression didn't really change. "I know that it'll be hard for you to keep going on your own. But I also know that you won't be doing this forever. Soon, you'll find your chance too." He leaned forward and kissed Gackt's forehead, just once.
Gackt stood there dully, touching Shinya's hand. "I hope that ... that you'll be happy," he managed honestly.
"Arigato." Shinya smiled. And then he left.
Gackt gazed over his shoulder as the door closed behind him, and as Shinya walked out of the apaato, for the last time. For a moment Gackt wondered whether he would ever see Shinya again. It was doubtful enough that he would see Mana again. Mana had promised Gackt in tears that he would try to see him, but he was so afraid of Yoshiki by this point that he would probably be too upset to try to come back, even if just to visit Gackt. Gackt could understand that, even though he wished that neither Mana nor Shinya had to leave in the first place. At the same time, Gackt wanted them to never come back. They'd found a way out, they would soon be happy, and that was all that mattered. They should try to preserve that happiness. They never had to see this place again.
With a heavy heart, Gackt started to go towards the bedroom. Hesitantly he pushed the door open and looked inside.
Yoshiki was laying under the sheets of the bed, sitting up against the pillows, hunched over slightly. His hair and the bed were in disarray, indicating that indeed, just as Gackt had suspected, he and Shinya had had sex. For a moment Gackt was almost angry at Shinya. 'If you were going to leave, you shouldn't have fucked him, made him think that maybe he could hope that you would stay.' Yoshiki had tears running down his face, from angry narrowed eyes, and every once in a while he sniffled furiously, his shoulders trembling. His hands were clenched so tightly that his nails were digging into his skin and drawing blood. There were tiny red stains on the bed now, thanks to that.
Seeing Yoshiki like this now made it almost impossible not to feel sorry for him. A great rush of grief came up inside Gackt. He sighed under his breath, slowly, and walked into the room, gazing down and across at Yoshiki. "He left," he only said softly.
Yoshiki looked up at him, and glared, not at him, but in general. "Kuso," he muttered.
Gackt came forward, tentatively, and paused at the foot of the bed. He wondered whether he should search inside himself for something to say, but no words came to mind. He watched Yoshiki sit there for a moment and try futilely to rub at his eyes, to banish the tears.
Momentarily, Gackt could only remember Yoshiki's harshness. He could only remember the way that Yoshiki moved so roughly, the way his face looked, the way his eyes flashed with anger, when he was yelling at Gackt, when he was hitting him, forcing himself on him, insulting him. But then that melted away. Suddenly Gackt saw Yoshiki's vulnerability now. He could tell that Yoshiki had been drinking a lot that day, but nothing had made the alcohol sink into his consciousness more than Shinya telling him that he was leaving. Now, even though he was enraged, hurt, he was exposed, in pain.
Gackt felt a little pull on his heart to see that. He almost forgot all the times that Yoshiki had hurt him, and could remember the way that Yoshiki had been, back when hide had been alive. Therefore, Gackt exhaled deeply and came over to the bed. He climbed on top of it, pushing the skirt of his long kimono out of his way, coming next to Yoshiki. He just sat there, gazing at the man, sadly.
Yoshiki tried to ignore him for a minute, but then ... "Gackt ..."
Gackt heard the rough whisper, and turned to look at Yoshiki in surprise.
Yoshiki was gazing at him. His eyes hadn't lost their anger, but it seemed more like desperate anger abruptly, rather than truly furious anger. He sniffled again, hard, and pushed his hair intolerantly out of his eyes, succeeding in messing it up further, so it was soft and tousled around his face, as he stared at Gackt.
Gackt just gazed back, wondering whether he should feel afraid.
Suddenly Yoshiki came closer to him. He looked a bit dizzy, a bit drunk, as though he was probably going to have to sleep soon, after drinking so much alcohol earlier. But before that, his eyes still almost angrily flashing up at Gackt, he leaned closer, even when Gackt blinked suddenly and started to flush, inching away. Yoshiki moved his hand up, his fingers playing at the edge of the neck of Gackt's kimono, where Gackt had brought Klaha's hand a few days ago. Gackt jumped, startled, but Yoshiki, even though he wasn't exceedingly violent with him, pulled, and made sure that Gackt wasn't going to go anywhere.
"Yoshiki," Gackt whispered.
Yoshiki's half-open eyes were glazed. Slowly, he slid his hand into Gackt's kimono, which really made Gackt get uncomfortable and start to move back. Yoshiki's hand slipped past the fabric despite any protests, and Gackt stifled a cry when he felt Yoshiki's warm hand pressing against his own cold chest. Gackt was still chilled from being outside, whereas Yoshiki had been indoors, had been drinking, and had been exerting himself.
Gackt swallowed hard, barely managing to keep himself from pulling away from this abnormally nonviolent touch. Then he realized what was really happening. Yoshiki was just sitting there, breathing heavily, feeling for Gackt's heartbeat.
Gackt felt his blood rushing, and knew that his heart was only speeding up more.
"He left me," Yoshiki managed now, gulping hard and trying to catch his breath. Gackt had to wonder who he meant: Shinya? Mana? Or hide? Yoshiki swayed a little bit, leaning against Gackt, and his other hand gripped Gackt's wrist. As he'd dug his nails into his own hand a little while ago, now they dug into Gackt's bandage, where he'd been injured. Gackt winced, but didn't move, and listened as Yoshiki continued to murmur in a choked, angry voice, "They all left me ...!"
Gackt let out a long, long breath.
Yoshiki was falling asleep now, sinking into drunken unconsciousness, his hand slipping from where the pulse of Gackt's heart was beating, his nails relaxing slightly in his skin. Gackt knew even without hearing more words how desperate and utterly dejected Yoshiki was becoming, how his life was only growing worse and worse as his only remaining companions abandoned him one by one. Gackt knew that he himself wouldn't leave. He could never bring himself to abandon Yoshiki.
"Gackt ..."
"I'm here. I'm still here."
[A week later]
"What time is it?" Gackt asked suddenly.
Klaha heaved a sigh, after finishing his angry tirade about his parents, and glanced at his watch. It was later than Gackt and Klaha usually spent time together, but Klaha had come looking for Gackt after having another huge argument with his mother, and his father, who had even threatened to disown him. Klaha had accepted that offer and stormed out, even though he knew that they would all be over it in a couple of days. He'd merely wanted to talk to Gackt and calm himself down, and so they were now walking along the darkened streets near Gackt's apaato. After consulting his watch, Klaha said to Gackt, "It's past midnight."
Gackt raised one eyebrow at him. "Hounto? You never stay out with me this late."
"I know." Klaha sighed a second time. "I'm not ... keeping you from work, am I?"
Gackt saw the slight flush creeping into Klaha's cheeks and shook his head. "No."
Klaha wanted to ask Gackt more about it, or to make sure that Gackt had made enough money today so he wouldn't have to worry about it, but he decided to drop the subject after Gackt's simple answer. Looking up at the dark sky and peering through the shadows of the slums, he said, "I suppose I should walk you home now."
Gackt nodded. "Hai. Domo."
Klaha smiled at him, and they kept walking.
Only a few minutes of walking brought them to the corner near Gackt's street. When they turned it and found themselves not more than ten paces away from Gackt's apartment building, they both slowed down, enjoying each others' company. Klaha was always reluctant to leave Gackt, and Gackt enjoyed being with Klaha much more than he enjoyed all other circumstances of his life, whether it be prostitution or being with Yoshiki, these days. They didn't know that someone on the second floor, in Gackt's apaato, was looking frantically out the windows and had just spotted Gackt and Klaha approaching.
They walked up to the front steps of Gackt's building and finally stopped. In the past Gackt would have just briefly said goodbye and walked up the steps, and disappeared outside. But in the last couple of weeks, he had begun to trust Klaha more, and so took time to actually say farewell.
Gackt turned to Klaha, with a slight smile. "Thanks for talking to me."
Klaha blinked. "Don't thank me," he protested. "YOU'RE the one who had to listen to my whining, after all."
With a short laugh, Gackt shook his head. "No, don't worry. I didn't mind at all. I never mind talking to you, no matter what it's about. I just hope that some of my advice helps you somehow ... I mean, I don't know much about family life," he admitted softly, glancing down.
Klaha softened. "Daijoubu, Gackt. I appreciate it."
They stood there smiling for a moment, and then the door suddenly was thrown open. "Gackt!"
Gackt blinked and turned, startled, as did Klaha. A young man who Gackt had only seen briefly in the past and had recognized as one of Yoshiki's friends, and who Klaha had never seen, now ran outside. He seemed a bit shaky, as though he had been drunk, but just recently had been shaken into soberness. He looked panicked, and ran down the steps to Gackt, grabbing onto Gackt's arm to avoid falling down.
Gackt tried to support the man whose name he couldn't remember. "What's wrong?" he asked now, frowning in concern and uneasiness.
The young man only shook his head, gasping for air for a moment. "Kuso!" he swore. Then he recovered himself and seemed muddled, but by something upstairs, something that he couldn't understand. He looked at Gackt and gripped his arm again. "Gackt," he began again, then urged him, "You've got to get up there, right now!"
"Why? What is it?"
"Something's wrong with Yoshiki!"
Gackt's eyes widened, and he froze. "Y-Yoshiki?"
The man nodded now, intolerantly, apparently seized by memories of what was going on upstairs, and he started to pull Gackt towards the steps, shaking his head again. "Come on!"
Klaha stared at Gackt. "G ... Gackt ..."
Gackt seemed paralyzed for a moment, only staring at the young man who was trying to pull him into the apartment building. Then, slowly, he looked over at Klaha, hearing the other boy address him, and his wide eyes showed his emotion to hear this, his confusion, his fear. Klaha moved forward towards him, but Gackt looked back at the young man, and then seemed to become alarmed. "Oh, no," he whispered now. "Klaha, I---I have to go ..." He shook his head quickly.
"I'm coming with you," Klaha immediately decided.
Gackt couldn't answer him. Without responding, he broke away from the young man and ran for the steps. He bolted up them and into the building, lucky that the door had been carelessly left open by his approacher, and Klaha and the young man were helpless to follow him.
Klaha started to feel nervous, and that anxiety grew as he stumbled after Gackt, who was much quicker than him now that they were in a place that was more familiar to him. Gackt tripped up the stairs, his dark hair and the sleeves and skirt of his kimono flapping after him, and by the time he'd gotten to the second floor, Klaha and the young man were only partially up the stairs. Klaha, trying to catch his breath, sped up to follow him. The door to the apaato had been left open too, and Gackt disappeared inside now.
"Gackt!" Klaha tried to call after him, as he ran inside also. Then he slowed down, and looked around, seeing that Gackt had been caught in the arms of a few people who were standing around. People? Klaha blinked. He'd never seen people here before.
But apparently there was a party, or at least a gathering of sorts, going on. Yoshiki had probably hosted it. There was a large cluster of people crowded in the apaato, which looked vaguely nicer than usual, but had been filled up with visitors who had accidentally knocked over things drunkenly or had brought in their own belongings to crowd it further. Who were all these people, Klaha wondered at first? A closer look at all of them informed him that they were all cohorts of Yoshiki: more of his whores, both girls and boys, and some of his friends or partners, it seemed to Klaha. Some of the whores had their own personal customers or escorts with them.
Everyone was either holding a drink or a variety of substances that Klaha decided not to question right now, and most people seemed as though they'd been here ingesting these things for quite a while. Their eyes were all dim, and they were all swaying, gazing dully at the action going on around them.
"What's happened? Tell me!" Gackt was demanding from a young woman.
"I don't know, he just passed out, and then---" she tried to explain helplessly.
"Oh, God," Gackt choked out, turning around, looking desperately.
Klaha hurried to him now, not noticing or really caring where the young man behind him had gone. When he was by Gackt's side, he laid his hand on Gackt's arm and looked at him worriedly, frowning. "Gackt, what's going on? Is ... Is he okay?"
"I don't know, but ... but ..."
Gackt just shook his head, then tore himself away from Klaha. Klaha tried to follow him, swallowing hard. Most of the people recognized Gackt as Yoshiki's lover, and so, they stirred up enough respect through their intoxication to move out of the way when he ran through. Klaha saw that the door to the bedroom was wide open, and some people were crowded around it, so that was where Gackt dashed to. Klaha followed, but hesitated just outside the door, watching.
When he looked inside, he gasped. Yoshiki was on the floor, propped slightly upright against the wall, but he was struggling as though he would topple over at any second. His hands were up at his throat, and he was gasping for air, his eyes half-closed as he slumped against someone, apparently dazed and half-conscious. His hair was strewn over his face, and his skin was deathly pale. Tears were flowing from his eyes, from his lack of oxygen, and his body was trembling.
"Yoshiki!" Gackt gasped, and ran over to him immediately. He almost stumbled and tripped on his kimono as he went, and pushed past the few people surrounding him. They moved out of the way, and instantly Gackt took one of their places next to him, pulling Yoshiki against him. Tears filled Gackt's panicked eyes, now when he wasn't distracted enough to try to keep them from coming.
"G-Gackt," came out of Yoshiki's mouth.
Then he began to retch, and keeled over. When he started to vomit in the other direction, thrashing, Klaha stared, unable to believe this.
"Give him some room!" someone said.
A fumbling hand came down on Klaha's shoulder, and someone pulled him backwards out of the way as the door was shut. Klaha blinked, then began to frown, alarmed, no longer able to see inside the room. He was becoming panicked now, worried not only for Yoshiki but for Gackt. But Klaha saw that the people around him were trying to help, apparently. Some of them were even crying, afraid for Yoshiki's sake if they were that close to him. Others were trying to laugh it off and say that Yoshiki had just overstepped himself, and gone too far again without thinking.
The person who pulled Klaha backwards was a young man who, like the rest of Yoshiki's male prostitutes, tended to be very pretty. He was distinguishable as male, and was dressed like a boy, but was femininely attractive. His eyes showed that he was under some influence, but he seemed appalled.
When he was going to walk away, Klaha stopped him, glancing back at the closed door. "What happened?"
The boy swallowed and shook his head, fighting tears. "I ... I don't know." No one seemed to know, Klaha thought dryly. "Everyone came over here, and he seemed okay ... I mean, he was acting a little funny, but he ... then in the middle of it, he passed out, and when he woke up he started having FITS or something---"
Klaha nodded pensively. His heart was racing.
The boy wiped his eyes clumsily. "He's not going to make it," he gasped. "I know it, he's not---"
"Don't say that!" Klaha interrupted, horrified, frowning sharply at him. He insisted, "Tell me, did he do it on purpose?"
"N-Nani?"
"The drugs---did he overdose on purpose?"
The boy's eyes widened and he stared at Klaha as though seeing him for the first time. Apparently this thought had never crossed his mind. "You mean, did he ... did he do it because he wants to ... to die?" he said, aghast. "You mean, SUICIDE?"
"Hai!" Klaha said urgently. "Did he intend to kill himself?"
"H-How could he?" But the boy seemed shocked, unsure. "He invited everyone here ..."
'Maybe he wanted to see you one last time,' Klaha thought, but didn't say it aloud. He pushed the boy away and stumbled through the crowd towards the door, hovering outside of it, hearing fumbling sounds and gasping inside. He thought, 'Maybe he knew what he was going to do and he wanted to see the faces of everyone left in his life before he killed himself ... except for Gackt, where was Gackt? He was ... with me ...'
"Move---I've got to get through---" someone said.
Jolted out of his daze, Klaha moved out of the way.
A girl in a kimono pushed past him and the others, sniffling hard, looking panicked, holding a beer glass full of water. She shoved the door open and didn't even bother to close it as she rushed inside.
Sensing an opportunity, Klaha hurried over to the open door and peeked inside for a moment, watching it all happen. The girl seemed rather determined, and pushed some of the others out of her way. Klaha saw a flash of Gackt and Yoshiki, and then looked closer, shocked. Gackt was not crying, but his eyes were full of anguished tears, and he was pressing his body down on the now-prone Yoshiki, trying to quell his thrashing as the others hurried around to try to help. Klaha wanted to go in, but again, someone held him back. The girl started to try and sprinkle Yoshiki with water, to bring him back to complete consciousness, but Yoshiki still couldn't breathe.
Then, someone inside kicked the door shut, and Klaha jumped as it closed in front of his eyes. He let out a breath that he hadn't known he had been holding.
Today had been so normal. He had gone to school, had spent some time just afterwards with Daisuke and Toshi, and then had gone home, where he and his parents had had another typical fight, albeit a more explosive one than usual. Then Klaha had come in the evening to find Gackt, who he'd been talking to for the last several hours. And now Gackt was trying to resuscitate his lover in front of Klaha's eyes, as people milled around, predicting that Yoshiki would die.
'No,' Klaha thought to himself, tears pricking his eyes. 'If he dies ... No, it's not that serious! It can't be!'
About five minutes of tension passed. Some of the people left. They acted airily, as though this party had grown dull and they wanted to spend it someplace fun, not where people were dropping left and right. Klaha watched in disgust as they put down their beer glasses and walked out. Others were milling about nervously, smoking more, discussing casually with each other even as they apparently worried about Yoshiki. Klaha was in the middle of them all, out of place, but unable to think about that. He was panicked, and only wanted to burst through that door.
Finally, he got his chance. Suddenly, there was a silence on the other end of the door. The gasping and panicked voices stopped.
"Oh, shit---" Klaha heard someone say inside. "He's not brea---" That person's voice was female, alarmed, even a bit dismayed, before the actual shock came over her. Another voice, a male voice, as though the man had just been sitting to the side watching this with drunken inquisitiveness, finished for her. He murmured curiously, "Oi, he's not breathing."
There was a little gasp. Was that Gackt's voice? Klaha struggled to get closer to the door.
Then, suddenly, there was a scream. Gackt's scream. Klaha had never heard that sound before in his life, and he became utterly motionless, wincing violently only once, staring at the door. Everyone else became silent, too. Some people looked up from their drinks, blinking slowly, and others jumped, clearly jittered by narcotics. But Klaha didn't have anything to dull his surprise to hear that sound come out of Gackt. Gackt's voice rose in an anguished, ripping scream that pierced him to the core of his heart.
"Gackt ...!" Klaha could only manage, feeling a pull as though he NEEDED to find Gackt right then, as he shoved everyone out of his way.
Klaha didn't bother to wait for someone else to open the door. No time for that. He shoved it open himself, gasping, hurrying inside, to see the even more shocking scene in front of him. Two people, one of whom was the young woman who'd brought the beer glass, and another of whom was a young man, were restraining Gackt. Each of them held one of his arms, though he was fighting them with his fists, struggling viciously and desperately to get away.
Klaha realized that they were trying to pull Gackt away from Yoshiki, and then his numbed eyes slid to the man in question. Yoshiki was laying where he'd seen him last, but now, the convulsions had stopped and he was completely motionless. He lay there silently, his skin even more pale than before, his eyes closed, his lips parted. A couple of people were staring at him, nudging at him, or poking him.
"No!" Gackt screamed. "Yoshiki!"
With a start, Klaha whirled to look at Gackt again. This was the first time he'd ever seen Gackt cry. Ever. Gackt had become so close to crying in front of him in the past, but had always stopped himself. He'd never wanted Klaha to see his tears, his pain. But now, there was nothing to stop him from breaking down completely. Klaha's shock and agony were immeasurable as he saw the tears spilling down from Gackt's eyes, as Gackt wept and coughed, trying to pull away and get to Yoshiki.
"No! Let me go! Get your fucking hands off of me!" All those tears that had been building up inside him for years were coming out of him now, in those sobs and choking gasps. He was panicked, frantic, devastated, grieved.
"Gackt," Klaha said yet again, stunned. Then he couldn't hold back any longer, and stumbled over to him. "Gackt! Stop!" he pleaded, pushing the two who were trying to restrain Gackt out of the way. Gackt didn't see him yet, didn't see him as Klaha tried to face him and get the other boy to listen to him. Gackt only saw Yoshiki over Klaha's shoulder, and the tears kept flowing as he swallowed another deep shuddering breath.
"Yoshiki---"
"Stop it!" Klaha grabbed ahold of Gackt's arms as the others backed away with stunned expressions.
Gackt struggled against him for a moment, ignoring him, weeping, and then tried to viciously push him away and get past him. "Let me go! Get the fuck off me! I want ... I need him---I need to see him ... he's not---"
Klaha shook his head, fighting back, even as Gackt's fists pounded his chest and almost knocked the wind out of him. "Don't! He's ... He's gone. Gackt ... PLEASE!"
"He's not gone! LET ME GO!"
"Gackt ...!"
Slowly, Gackt turned his overflowing eyes onto Klaha, still in a frenzy. But all of a sudden it was as though he saw the tears on Klaha's own face, the worry in his eyes, the love, the compassion, and the grief, and he knew that it was true. He weakened in Klaha's arms, stammering, like a lost child. "I---I don't ... he can't be ..."
"Shhh ..." Klaha swallowed hard.
"No!" Gackt sobbed out now, shaking his head, falling into Klaha's arms. "No! No!"
Klaha caught him, faltering, but when he regained his balance he clutched Gackt to him, squeezing his eyes shut. He could feel Gackt's pain, and it consumed him completely. He'd never felt anguish that great before, not even in Gackt himself, when they'd spoken or touched in the past. Now Gackt dissolved entirely into his arms, and clutched the back of Klaha's shirt in his tightly-clenched fists, squeezing Klaha so hard that he might break him, sobbing in a way that suggested that he'd forgotten how to cry.
"Shhh," Klaha whispered in his ear, choking down a sob of his own as he pulled Gackt against him, into his comforting embrace. Gackt nearly knocked him over, but he didn't care. The sadness of this event was swarming up around them like an ocean of darkness, and Klaha knew that he was Gackt's only stronghold against it right now.
"Is he okay?" someone asked.
Klaha didn't see them. Didn't know whether they meant Gackt or Yoshiki. Didn't answer.
"He's not waking up---"
"Call an ambulance---"
Gackt was shuddering against him violently, shaking his head, sobbing into Klaha's neck. "No, he's not---he can't leave me---he ... he can't ... I don't want to be alone."
"Shhh ..."
Gackt was growing weaker and weaker in his grasp. Klaha could feel it, and tried to support him more firmly, wishing desperately that he was strong enough to ease Gackt's pain. He hated his own helplessness, his own inability to have prevented this somehow. Gackt was slumping against him even as his body shook, indicating that he was so distressed and rattled that he was losing control of himself. Klaha grasped him, for once not thinking about how right Gackt's body felt against his own, only thinking about Gackt's tears and his pain.
"Klaha ..."
Klaha blinked. Had Gackt just whispered that?
"There are the ambulance lights," someone pointed out, dumbly, gesturing out the window.
Klaha lifted his eyes only now, to see the shadows of the flashing red and white lights on the building across the street from them, out the window. He was just about to go over and try to help, thinking that he would need to explain to the paramedics even in his rumpled state, when Gackt fainted. All of a sudden Gackt fell limp in his arms, limp against his shoulder, his sobs ebbing into unsteady breathing, and Klaha staggered, clutching him, as Gackt was eased into merciful unconsciousness, where no pain mattered, where all losses became nonexistent, and where all tears dried away ...
NOTES~I killed Yoshiki off ... but I didn't mean to do it out of spite. I do love Yoshiki too, after all, and now I feel even more horrible for making him into a character like this in this story, when I know that he's actually so different. What right do I have to paint him like this, after all, when he's gone through so many losses in reality? In any case, please respond and share your thoughts.
Glossary
arigato: thank you
kuso: shit
hounto (ni): really
hai: yes
domo: thanks
daijoubu: it's all right
apaato: apartment
nani: what
oi: hey
gomen (nasai): I'm sorry
ja ne: see you, bye
To Be Continued
To the next part