Title: Ai o Osorete
Author: Scarlet Kozi
Rating: R
Contains: Profanity, homosexual sex, shounen ai, etc.
Pairing: SakitoXKikasa (Due le Quartz)
Warning: I don't know anyone from Due le Quartz, unfortunately, so they'll be somewhat out of character here, I would assume... A warning to everyone: this story is rather pointless, and probably not near my best work, but please write me or review me, ne? Arigato! This is the first of probably about three chapters, I'm assuming... Not one of my longer ones.
Notes: Thoughts use single quotes, speech uses double quotes.
Extra: Wheeeeee, homophobia!
Ai o Osorete: Chapter One
Author: Scarlet Kozi
�I really shouldn't be thinking this. It's not right. After all, I'm not gay.'
Kikasa said this to himself over and over again, as he glanced over absentmindedly at Sakito, who was sitting casually across from him at the restaurant table. The four of them�Kikasa, Sakito, Miyabi, and Kazuki�had arranged to go out for dinner tonight, as they had been exhausting themselves with lives and planning lately, and needed to relax for a bit.
Miyabi and Kazuki had already engaged in a little drinking contest, and several empty glasses were placed in front of them, whereas Kikasa was still nursing his second, and Sakito, a bit more adventurous, was on his third.
It was a very nice restaurant, close to their hotel, and the other three were immersed in conversation, but somehow, Kikasa couldn't tear his eyes off of Sakito.
It frustrated him to no end, finding himself so helpless now. �Why the fuck do I keep thinking about him?'
Sakito was leaning back against the seat, one leg carelessly crossed over the other. His arm was over the back of the seat, and the other hand was idly holding his half-empty glass before he set it back on the table. His glossy black hair shone softly with bluish tones under the light, which also helped to illuminate his unique features, high cheekbones, and his lips, as they curved upwards in an unusual playful smile. He was looking at the others, fortunately.
Sakito laughed at something that Miyabi had said, covering his mouth, and Kikasa felt a little flutter of excitement just to hear that lighthearted sound. But immediately he scolded himself, flustered.
�He's one of my closest friends,' he resolved silently, trying to calm down. �I'm misinterpreting my affection for him, that's all. I've been in this band for years now, and nothing strange has happened before. Well... besides playing around for the fans or for photographers. And sometimes he teases me like that, but even then, it's never serious. It's always just kidding around, and it should be! You're not supposed to think about your friends like this! I've known him for too long. I like girls. And besides all that, I'm involved.' Each of these silent arguments marched through Kikasa's head like little chants, as he attempted to convince himself once and for all. Of course, he'd never thought that /he/ would ever have to assert his heterosexuality, but now...
His parents had never liked the fact that he wanted to go into the music business. They had wanted him to choose a dependable career, something that they could take pride in as his mother and father. Therefore, they had fixed him up with a young woman, in the hope that he would depart from music and actually settle down.
Kikasa didn't like Atsuko. He knew he didn't. There was just something so... foreign about her. Was it only because she was female? Kikasa tried to deny it, tried to deny that he felt so much more at ease with other males, and tried to deny that whenever he was with her, he felt uncomfortable and wished that someone like Sakito was there instead. He could still remember the first time he and Atsuko had met, on his parents' insistence, only a few hours before he had to run off to a live. His hair had been recently re-dyed red, so that the black roots still showed, and she had stared at him in utter shock as though he was an alien. His parents had been furious with him, but fortunately for them, Atsuko had not been permanently scared off. And now, she could even be considered his girlfriend, not that they did anything together other than kiss.
He had just been about to break up with her, however, when he'd found out about Miyabi's and Kazuki's hidden relationship. They had been one great tangle in the bedsheets together when Kikasa had opened the door, stepped inside, and nearly screamed. Guiltily, once everyone had calmed down, they had explained that they were seeing each other, and Sakito knew, but none of them had wanted to tell Kikasa because... well... they knew about his discomfort regarding homosexuality. This they had said uneasily, as though dodging around some subject, their voices fading when Kikasa had looked at them suspiciously. Just what had they been suggesting?
But now he had accepted it. The idea of homosexuality had set him ill at ease at first, even though he didn't want to recognize that it was because he was questioning his own orientation. After finding out about Kazuki and Miyabi, he had been unable to break up with Atsuko in the fear that he himself could have been gay. After all, if he was seeing her, then he /had/ to be straight, right?
Atsuko was trying to change him, and like his parents, wanted him to give up music even though he insisted that he would never do that. When she complained that they didn't see each other enough because Kikasa was usually so busy, Kikasa tried not to reveal that he didn't /want/ to see her more often. Besides, all the other members of Due le Quartz, including Sakito, absolutely hated her anyway. But it would have been so much easier if he just wanted her!
Why did he keep thinking about Sakito instead, he would think to himself in frustration? He wanted to blame it tonight on the alcohol, but... it hadn't only been tonight...
"Ne, Kika-chan."
Kikasa suddenly blinked and looked up, to find that although Miyabi and Kazuki were still busily chatting and flirting with each other, Sakito was looking at him. Kikasa realized that he had been staring off into space, and felt somewhat embarrassed, but for some reason he couldn't make himself look into Sakito's eyes. Therefore, he glanced away quickly. "H-Hai?"
Sakito sounded puzzled at his reaction. "You seem upset about something. What are you thinking about?"
He shook his head. "Nothing." As though he would ever tell him anything about his own confusion. Kikasa was trying hard enough to never think about it again himself, and he knew that what he wanted even less was for Sakito to find out about... everything.
His brief response, and the way that he wouldn't completely look at Sakito, perplexed the vocalist slightly, but he apparently decided to leave the subject alone. "Okay." Then he turned to the others and joined in again.
�Damn it!' Kikasa sighed miserably under his breath. �I'm making a complete fool out of myself. Saki and I have been friends for longer than... than I've been friends with /anyone/, really. He and I have a good relationship, we get along well, we perform well together on-stage. Nothing strange has ever happened between us... so why am I all of a sudden feeling this way? What the hell is the matter with me? I'm straight! I am /not/ gay!"
Abruptly, there was a muffled ringing sound. All four members of Due le Quartz reached for their handphones and opened them. "Moshi moshi?" their four voices simultaneously spoke.
On the other end of Kikasa's phone, someone responded, and he knew that the call was his. Thus, he said into the receiver, "One second, onegai," and lowered, the phone, saying to the others, "It's mine." The other three clicked their phones shut and put them away. Kikasa lifted his phone back up to his ear, but was suddenly aware that they were all watching him. Miyabi, next to him, leaned forward on the table, his chin on his folded arms, and Kazuki, snuggled a bit against Miyabi, surveyed Kikasa with interest in his call. Sakito also seemed curious, and blinked, waiting expectantly.
The way that Sakito's eyes traveled up and down his body, just once, almost unnoticeably, made Kikasa shiver a little bit. Sometimes Sakito would do that for absolutely no reason, at least no reason that Kikasa knew of, and it would make the bassist feel both self-conscious and excited. He would want to curse Sakito for only making him question himself further, of course.
Kikasa tried to stop blushing as he turned a bit away from the others and said again, into the phone, "Gomen. Moshi moshi?"
"Moshi... Atsuko desu," a female voice said, bordering between pleasantness and falseness.
"Oh, Atsuko."
Miyabi instantly rolled his eyes and pushed Kikasa playfully, while the other two sighed and shook their heads. Of course, Kikasa pretended to ignore everything, though it was impossible to miss the way that Miyabi mouthed silently at the others, "The bitch is calling again." Aloud, to him, Miyabi then joked, "The old ball and chain, ne?"
Kikasa shot him a look and pushed him back.
Atsuko sounded as though she was frowning now, pausing after this interruption. "Did I just hear someone's voice?" she asked. "Am I... interrupting something?"
"No, of course not." He shook his head.
"Are you sure? You sound... out of breath."
She was always so suspicious, and really, she had reason to be. Kikasa tried to hide his uncertainty about himself from everyone, but maybe sometimes he was careless around her, because she seemed to know that her mission was to keep him straight. His parents, knowing about the dangers of the music industry, had practically instructed her to make sure that he never looked at another man the same way he should look at her.
Therefore, she tried her hardest, clearly knowing the truth, or at least made suspicious, by his actions and his personality. She had even wanted to have sex with him, but he had refused at the time. Later on, of course, he yelled at himself and wondered why, because if he was straight, then what was wrong with having sex with one's girlfriend? He'd had sex with girls before... once.
"I do?" Kikasa asked, with no interest, in response to her question. However, then he looked up and realized that the discomfort of having all his bandmates staring at him, including Sakito, was making him nervous. He always had to pretend to be someone he wasn't when he talked to Atsuko, and that was something he didn't want to have to do in front of them. His voice came out oddly, "Don't worry, you're not interrupting anything. I'm, ano... I mean..."
"Are you with someone?" Atsuko demanded.
Kikasa inwardly groaned, fed up with her constant interrogations, as though it really would have mattered whether he'd cheated on her or not. "No, I'm not with anyone!"
All of a sudden, overhearing this, something sparkled in Miyabi's mischievous, mostly intoxicated eyes. Normally he wouldn't act on an idea like this, but what the hell, everyone had consumed a good amount of alcohol, and any behavior was free. When he turned to share a glance with Kazuki, the drummer smiled and shook his head, trying to seem as though he disapproved of the scheme he knew that Miyabi had just thought up. However, he failed miserably, clearly amused by the idea. When Miyabi glanced at Sakito for approval, the vocalist didn't seem to understand what he was trying to ask, so he just shrugged. Miyabi decided to proceed anyway.
He glanced all around them to make sure there were no waiters or intruders in their little area of the restaurant, stifling his laughter all the while. Once he secured their privacy, he scooted a bit closer on the seat next to Kikasa.
Without saying anything yet, he suddenly leaned over and slid his arms around Kikasa's waist. Little harmless cuddles and things like this happened all the time, even involving Kikasa, who was trying to deny that he really enjoyed them. They never made him that nervous�only with Sakito would it have been something for him to worry about. Therefore, Kikasa just shook his head at Miyabi and tried to ignore him for a second. However, then Miyabi brought his face up near Kikasa's cheek.
His lips, of course, were dangerously close to the receiver of the phone. "Ohh," he moaned softly.
Kikasa's eyes suddenly widened and he looked over at Miyabi in surprise.
Meanwhile, Kazuki was trying to choke down his laughter, so as not to ruin everything in Miyabi's devious little scheme. Sakito had finally understood, and now even /he/ was hard-pressed to keep a hand over his mouth so he didn't laugh loud enough to have the sound picked up over the phone. None of them really felt any remorse about this, since they hated Atsuko anyway.
She sounded startled. "What was that?"
"N-Nothing...!"
Miyabi, however, wouldn't let it go at that. He inched closer, even though Kikasa was by now trying to squirm away from him, sensing his own impending doom. The guitarist heightened the volume of his voice. "Oh, Kika-chan, it's... it's so big..." he breathed out.
Kikasa was horrified and tried to shove him away. Putting his hand over the receiver was no use, because Miyabi almost immediately tugged his hand away.
It was a lost cause. With all the silent encouragement from the other two, Miyabi would never have given this up so soon. He slid his hands up Kikasa's chest and gave him a playful wink, trying to tease him, even as his voice wavered: "Mm, you taste so delicious...!" He made a large swallowing sound, licking his lips loudly.
"What... What is..." Atsuko couldn't even bring herself to finish the sentence.
Miyabi had started wriggling against Kikasa a little bit, rubbing his chest against the bassist's arm, to make his performance even more convincing. "Kika-chan, I want to feel you inside me, now!" Though none of this was actually happening, Miyabi did a good job of making it sound like it was. Suddenly he made a noise of pleasure, and moaned loudly, his voice shaking more. He leaned his head against Kikasa's, near the phone. "A-Ah! Mmmmm... Oh, it feels so /good/..."
By now, the other two were dying. Sakito had tears in his eyes and his shoulders were even trembling from the effort of trying not to laugh, as he watched Kikasa staring at Miyabi in horror. Kazuki was laughing into Sakito's shoulder hysterically, muffling the sound of his voice.
Miyabi leaned his chin on Kikasa's shoulder, and for the bassist's benefit, jokingly pretended to flutter his eyelashes at him. He whined, heaving, "Ohh! Harder, Kika-chan, harder!"
Kikasa felt as though he wanted to melt into the floor, or as though he wanted to rip Miyabi to shreds.
Atsuko's voice was shocked. "What... I can't believe... Is that /Miyabi/?" She had met the other members of the band on several occasions, although none of the introductions had gone well and the two parties clearly hated each other. Atsuko would often pretend to forget Sakito's, Miyabi's, and Kazuki's names, as though she thought so little of them, but in a situation like this, she was too horrified to pretend.
"Ahh! Faster!" Miyabi breathed, trying not to smile because it would come through in his voice. He did a surprisingly convincing version of a near-orgasm, considering that he was fully clothed and sitting in a restaurant. When Kikasa desperately tried to pull away, Miyabi yanked him back, showing deceptive strength for his slenderness. "Ride me, Kikasa! Fuck me! Harder!"
Kikasa's cheeks had flushed prominently, to the shade of his hair.
"What are you /doing/?" Atsuko's livid, tearful voice gasped.
Because Miyabi was cutting off his air, having linked his arms very tightly around his torso, Kikasa barely managed to speak. When he did, his voice sounded choked, which probably only sounded worse in regards to his situation. "Nothing, I'm� I'm out to dinner with..." He couldn't finish.
"Out to dinner? That's pathetic!"
"Ohhhhh!" Miyabi finally moaned out, gasping, whimpering.
Finally, Sakito couldn't stand it anymore, and neither could Kazuki. Abruptly the two of them began to gasp with laughter, unable to control themselves. They couldn't even breathe, they were laughing so hard, and were holding their sides. At this point, Miyabi disengaged himself from Kikasa and sat calmly in his seat again, folding his arms, looking extremely satisfied with himself, which only made the others laugh harder.
"Atsuko? Atsuko?" Kikasa continued to repeat into the phone with wide eyes, bewildered. But it was clear that she had already hung up.
He looked down at the phone for a long moment, hearing their roaring laughter around him, and then shot them a withering glare. What he would have liked was to tell them to go fuck themselves, but then, it might give Sakito the wrong idea. Or would it be the right idea...? Kikasa shook this thought off as he stood up and turned, preparing wearily to go to another part of the restaurant. His anger was already mostly gone. "I'm going to go and try to call her back, where it's quiet."
~*~
Kikasa, of course, called numerous times, struggling to get through to Atsuko. However, the first few times he called, she would hang up again the minute she recognized his voice, still clearly enraged and in tears about the entire thing. Finally he managed to keep her from hanging up, and they had the last argument of their pathetic relationship.
She kept trying to accuse him of being gay and cheating on her with one of his bandmates, another man, no less. It took a bit of work, but at last he convinced her that Miyabi had just been playing a prank on him... but she still believed him to be homosexual.
"I can't stay in this relationship with you anymore, no matter what your parents say! I can't ignore that you... that you're..."
Gay. Those were her last words to him before she said goodbye, and hung up the phone again. With a dull sigh, Kikasa fought the impulse to throw his own handphone through the restaurant and watch in delight as it bounced off someone's head. As he put it away, he could only think to himself that she was wrong. In frustration, he silently told himself this again and again. �She's wrong. She's wrong. I'm not gay.'
More composed now, Kikasa walked back into the dining room and sat down again at their table. The other three all looked up now, their laughing having finally died away.
"So what did she want?" Miyabi asked casually, trying to stifle his smile behind his hand.
Kikasa frowned heatedly. But when he felt the eyes of the other two still curiously on him, especially Sakito's, he faltered a bit and shook his head. "Nothing important." This evening wasn't the time to say that he had just broken up with his girlfriend, who had been his last excuse in the argument where he claimed that he was straight.
~*~
About two hours later, they all prepared to go to bed in their hotel rooms. Kikasa's greatest worry right now, of course, was that he would be able to sleep.
Their budget was a little shaky at the moment, due to unexpected expenses, and so, they were pairing up in hotel rooms. Naturally, Miyabi and Kazuki called one for themselves, not wanting to be separated, and at Miyabi's insistence, their management surrendered and agreed. This had left Sakito and Kikasa to one room. Of course, there were two beds in each hotel suite, which made it easier for Kikasa, but Miyabi and Kazuki would probably end up in the same bed sooner or later anyway.
Right now, Kikasa and Sakito led the walk up to the rooms. Miyabi and Kazuki trailed behind. They were snuggled against each other, while Sakito and Kikasa glanced back questioningly at them, once in a while. Though the vocalist and bassist were only making pointless conversation, Kikasa had felt Sakito's eyes on him the entire way up.
�Why does he have to stare at me like that? He's only making it worse! And why the fuck does have to wear such tight shirts, anyway?' If mental grumbling was possible, Kikasa was making a career out of it.
He was trying not to look at Sakito, because the vocalist was staring at him and if he looked back they would make eye contact. But every once and again, Kikasa's eyes would sneak over and he couldn't help eyeing Sakito's slender body just as he was sure his own was being eyed. Sakito caught him looking once, and gave him a little smile, pretending to be reacting to something he'd said to avoid discomfort.
�I shouldn't be looking at him in the first place!' Kikasa reminded himself, swallowing and frowning slightly when he had a minute to himself. �Stop it!' But he was already somewhat aroused just by being in Sakito's presence, and he tried to hide it.
Sakito was smiling at him in a reassuringly normal way as they went upstairs. "Ne, it's late," he said to him. "If Kazuki and Miyabi don't get to their room soon, they might just fuck right here."
Kikasa blinked, and looked over his shoulder. Kazuki was leaning down and whispering something with a muffled smile in Miyabi's ear, with one arm around the guitarist's waist. Miyabi's eyes had grown a bit wider with anticipation, and, leaning heavily on Kazuki, he nipped at his neck. Usually they didn't act this forward, especially in public, but the two of them had insisted on having a drinking contest at dinner. Kikasa tried to keep from sneering in disgust."Hai, you're right."
When they were in the hall, Sakito said, "I think I'll take a shower and turn in."
"Okay." Kikasa was really thinking to himself, �Well, I'm the one who needs one... A nice cold one.'
The two of them said a brief good-night to Kazuki and Miyabi, not that the other two even noticed them. Kazuki managed to wave as he and Miyabi stumbled into their room, in any case, and Sakito and Kikasa just stood there for a moment after Miyabi kicked their door shut. Then, the two exchanged a glance and a wry little smile, and went into their own room.
Kikasa went over to his bed and sat down on it, trying to calm the beating of his heart as he unlaced his boots.
Sakito stretched for a minute. "I'm going into the shower now, okay, Kika-chan?"
"Hai." Kikasa nodded.
Winking at him once, Sakito turned and grabbed a pile of some of his things, which he'd strewn all over his bed next to Kikasa's.
The moment that Sakito disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door after him, Kikasa let out a long sigh of relief. At least he'd made it here without having Sakito notice too much! Kikasa's motions as he dropped his things, his keys, his phone down on the fancy desk, were almost frustrated at himself. He didn't understand why he was thinking like this all of a sudden. He'd always thought that Sakito was attractive, because it was impossible not to, but he'd never really found him /sexually/ attractive before... and never /this/ powerfully.
�What's the matter with me? I must be drunk, that's all...'
Just having an image of Sakito's face come into his mind made Kikasa blush, and made a little shiver of excitement go through him. He couldn't really explain it, but it almost made him feel uncomfortable, because he didn't want his thinking like this to complicate everything for them. He and Sakito were friends. That was all. And he was straight! Straight, straight, straight! Again he tried to drill this into his mind.
Kikasa started to shed his clothes in preparation for bed. �Maybe I'll feel better once I get a good night's rest.'
However, the minute he prepared to look around for his night clothes, he realized that he had left the shorts and the tank top in the bathroom. He bit back a groan. Putting his actual clothes back on would involve quite a bit of work, and the only pair of night clothes that he had brought to the hotel were slung over the banister in the bathroom. He contemplated what to do fo a few minutes, and then swallowed, deciding that he had nothing left to do but borrow Sakito's.
He rummaged carefully and painstakingly through Sakito's things until he found a pair of baggy pajama pants. He wasn't planning to wear them to bed�that would just be /too/ strange�but then, he needed to be wearing /something/ if he wanted to ask Sakito to hand him his things. He couldn't just walk in there in his underwear!
Kikasa swallowed to himself as he hesitantly went over to the bathroom door, trying to ignore the fact that Sakito's clothes were pulled tightly over his skin. He raised his fist and knocked on the door.
No answer.
However, the door slid open a little bit when he knocked, much to Kikasa's surprise. It hadn't been shut all the way, and the pressure from his hand caused it to tilt open slightly, with a light on inside and some steam floating out. Kikasa halted, clearing his throat quietly, and knocked instead on the doorframe, hoping to get an answer this time. Maybe Sakito was still in the shower... But it was too late now�Kikasa had already knocked.
"Nani?" Sakito's voice, casual.
"S-Saki?"
Sakito only sounded lightly surprised, maybe even amused. "Hai, Kika-chan? Come on in."
For some reason, Kikasa was half-expecting to see Sakito completely naked, leaning out of the shower with a film of water beading on his pale skin, looking down at the bassist with a seductive expression and an outstretched hand to beckon him to join him. That thought caused Kikasa to not only become immediately excited, but to become angry at himself for thinking like that. He put a hand over his mouth, scolding himself and fighting to get rid of the blush in his cheeks, as he went into the bathroom.
Sakito had taken a quick shower tonight. He was wearing a long loose white bathrobe lent to him by the hotel, with his soft hair slightly damp still. Examining himself, he had leaned over the sink to peer at his face in the mirror, and he glanced over at Kikasa with a slight smile when he saw him. "Ne, Kika-chan..." he began.
Kikasa halted. With the fading of Sakito's voice came a flicker of delight in his eyes, as they roved over Kikasa's body, which was of course half-clothed in Sakito's own pajamas.
"Kawaii ne!"
Kikasa blushed again, as he glanced down at what he was wearing and then at Sakito again. The vocalist had seen him in night clothes many times, but apparently there was something funny about Kikasa wearing his own, the bassist realized dryly, half-annoyed. "Shut up."
Sakito seemed amused at Kikasa's embarrassment. "So what is it?"
"A-Ano, I left my shorts and my undershirt in here, and I didn't bring anything else. I was planning to give you these back after I changed into mine�there wasn't anything else to wear. Do you mind if I...?" He gestured.
Now Sakito turned back to the mirror and behaved as though he barely noticed him. He didn't turn around again, but extended a hand to point a finger. Kikasa briefly followed the direction of it with his eyes and saw his own dark red shorts and white tank top folded over the curve of the banister, apparently untouched. He swallowed, about to go and get them, but against his will, he felt his gaze sliding over to Sakito again...
His mind yelled at him for it. �Baka! Don't /look/ at him!'
But it was too late. Sakito just seemed so irresistible, even to Kikasa, while he frantically tried to remind himself that both of them were male and that he wasn't attracted to other males. Despite this, something caught his eye about the way Sakito stood there gazing at himself carefully in the mirror, and his motions were so smooth as he started to dry his damp black hair with the towel.
Kikasa knew he was staring, but he couldn't pull his eyes away. �Damn it! Why does he have to be so attractive?' Sakito's slender form was so beautifully framed by the white bathrobe, his skin so perfect and luminous... at least, the parts that were revealed. Even without makeup, he was just... captivating. Kikasa found himself gaping at Sakito's large, almost deceptively deep eyes, framed by those long lashes.
Kikasa felt very shy, very confused, and very strained all of a sudden, and all at the same time. The best thing to do, he realized through all this, was to just grab his clothes and get out of there as fast as he could, before he did something that he regretted. In the darkness, he could hide his excitement from Sakito under his sheets if he pretended to sleep, but in here...
Just before Sakito could turn around, Kikasa began to head towards his clothes. However, there were some droplets of water on the tile, and Kikasa walked right on them. Losing his balance, he slid into Sakito's right leg, causing the vocalist to suddenly falter and tilt backwards.
Kikasa had just managed to regain his stability when, his eyes widening, he looked down just in time to see Sakito falling against his body. The vocalist's back was pressing into his chest, his head back on Kikasa's shoulder, and he was accidentally pinning the bassist against the wall. It was too sudden to really feel the effects of what was going on yet�Sakito was still wavering a bit, so Kikasa quickly grabbed ahold of him to steady him, even as the two leaned against the wall. "Gomen!"
"That's okay." Sakito exhaled now as he caught himself, but he didn't move away yet. Looking into the mirror across from them, he gave the reflection of Kikasa's humiliated face an apologetic smile. "It was my f..." But his words trailed off.
And soon enough, Kikasa realized why. Finally he had begun to feel the awkward position they were in, Sakito pressing so intimately back against him, and it hadn't helped matters in the least. On the contrary, it had only worsened things, and made his excitement even more painful. And the fact that both of them were half-dressed... It was as though all of this had been carefully schemed out by some evil being from above that sought only to make things harder. The way that Sakito was leaning back so solidly against him, it was undeniable to both that Kikasa was enjoying it more than he should have been, in his own opinion.
Kikasa swallowed hard and looked into the mirror, seeing that Sakito was staring at his reflection now with an expression of blank surprise. �Oh, no!' he thought, his heart sinking.
"Ano," Sakito began aloud, quietly, averting his eyes.
But he didn't seem nervous, or upset, or even confused. However, Kikasa was feeling all of these things, most of all shame and horror, to know that he'd been found out. Sakito knew that he wanted him! Kikasa was still troubled over this whole matter, and the last thing he wanted was to have it blown out of proportion before he figured it all out. Now Sakito would begin avoiding him, would feel humiliated around him... wouldn't want him back. It was a terrifying thought, and Kikasa was too off-guard to remind himself that no, of course he didn't want Sakito in the first place.
"I... I don't... It's not..." Kikasa began to stutter.
The words wouldn't come, so he decided to just escape. Forgetting that Sakito was still pushed back against him, or that he was holding Sakito's arm, he started to back off and move away. The only thing to do now was flee, and that was all the was thinking. The clothes didn't matter, since getting under the sheets and hiding was the most important thing anyway.
However, Sakito stopped his struggling by leaning back harder against him.
Kikasa was surprised and stopped moving. He saw that Sakito's eyes were turned sideways to look up over his shoulder at him, and Kikasa looked down at Sakito's upturned face.
In the beginning, Sakito was completely expressionless, not even surprised anymore. His eyes scanned Kikasa's briefly, making the bassist feel like a deer in headlights, as though Sakito was searching him. Kikasa had to wonder uncomfortably whether Sakito saw his anxiety, his confusion. But then, a smile started to spread itself over Sakito's features.
Sakito raised his hand and touched the side of Kikasa's face, bringing it closer to him, and he leaned up. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Kikasa's.
Kikasa's eyes flew open, and he stiffened. �He's... He's /kissing/ me?'
This was the /last/ thing he had expected. Of course, he'd noticed that Sakito seemed to show affection for both genders, and that had never been a problem. It hadn't been an issue, that was all. Kikasa was more uncomfortable about questioning his own sexuality than he was about Sakito's. He had been trying to keep this from Sakito, and had never known how the vocalist would react if he knew about it.
Definitely not like this, he'd thought!
Sakito was kissing Kikasa deeply, probing at his lips with his tongue, silently asking for some cooperation. When Kikasa numbly parted his lips without knowing it, he almost jumped when he felt Sakito's tongue enter his mouth.
He pulled away, breathless, a look of shock in his eyes.
Sakito was breathing a bit quicker too. He pushed some still-damp strands of hair from his eyes and smiled roguishly up at Kikasa, who stared disbelievingly down at him.
"I� I don't�" But Kikasa still couldn't get the words out right. Abruptly another flush crept across his face and he immediately looked away, mortified and shy. Not only was he shocked, having never once anticipated that Sakito would reciprocate as he had, but he felt even more painfully aroused now. His confusion was overwhelming. It wasn't normal for that to have felt so good!
As Sakito consented to lean off him, Kikasa picked up his clothes with jolting motions.
"A-Arigato," he said briefly, stammering, unable to meet Sakito's eyes.
Sakito just nodded and gave him another little grin, glancing at him. Then he looked back at the mirror, fixing his hair, which had gotten slightly tousled when he'd tripped, as though nothing at all had happened. That was the last image of him that Kikasa saw as he hurried out of the bathroom again. If he'd turned around, he would have seen that Sakito glanced at his receding back with a slightly mischievous little smile.
End Chapter One.
Notes: Chapter Two should be coming soon... but tell me what you think! Do you like the idea of Sakito and Kikasa? I wasn't sure... Please review!
To be continued
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