To Be Loved and To Love in Return
Hmm... another Deg alternate universe fic! The pairings are KaoruXTotchi, KyoXTotchi, DieXShinya! This is the final part: part four! ^o^ Oh yes, I'd like to apologize to anyone who notices how much of a bastard I turned Kaoru into... I'll make up for it later. X_x;; Sorry.
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Toshiya sat in the class beside Kaoru. Half his mind was focused on what the teacher was saying and taking down as many notes as possible, but the other half was wondering, lost in its own foggy thoughts. ~It's strange really. I mean, I haven't retained any of my memories from before my death until recently. What could this mean? Is the physical contact I've been having with Kaoru actually bringing back my human heart?~ His perfect, bubbly handwriting scrawled across the paper. He had a flashback that morning when he was watching Kaoru eat. Suddenly, his mind did it again...
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"I don't suppose you were planning to steal from me?" Kaoru stood over Toshiya, rider's crop in hand. Kyo was at his side, one arm wrapped protectively over his partner's waist. The violet haired heir simply smiled and a harsh beating began. For the most part, the short blonde protected his beau from any scars, this action grating on Kaoru's nerves. "So, I see how it is. The pretty one would seduce while the midget would leave you penny-less. That's a pretty good strategy. Though I, being the well-groomed son of a detective, shall not be fooled by your tactics." He continued to beat at Kyo until he kicked him away.
Toshiya immediately jumped forward, "Kyo!" Kaoru's foot came in contact with the tall one's chest, pushing him back against the wall. The rider's crop slapped against his cheek for the first time since they met. "Toshiya!" Kyo bounced against a near wall and was about to help his love, had Kaoru's leg not come in contact with his head. Toshiya was smart enough to not repeat his mistake, but now the couple was separated and Kaoru was in between. The horse haired short whip made a motion which seemed like it would hit Toshiya; he even cringed back to ready himself for the impact.
But instead, the fine hairs began to stroke Toshiya's inner leg. "Of course, I may be willing to make an exception for you two. Since you're both so professional in what you do, if you cooperate maybe we can build an 'everlasting relationship' from then on..." Kyo sneered, Toshiya made a face.
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"Hara-kun!!" The teacher's ruler made contact with his desk, the wood nearly snapping from the angry force. Toshiya snapped as well, coming back into reality from the memory which overwhelmed him. "Hara-kun, would you please give the answer to the question?" Toshiya blinked for a while, trying to regain his scrambled senses. "34?" The teacher sighed. Even though he had been off to la-la-land for a while, Toshiya was back and he had answered the question. Correctly. She trudged back to the front of the room and continued with her lesson. Toshiya sighed. Since they were still considered experimental, AI were not loved in schools. Besides, all the needed was programming - why should an android attend school? He only did it because Kaoru told him to...
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Kyo watched the android psychiatrist laugh himself to death on the floor of the library. He was laughing so hysterically and hard that tears fell from his eyes, breaking against the cold marble. The short blonde's eyes turned to a photograph of the long deceased scientist mounted up on the wall. ~He was either a really lucky genius or a god. There can't be any other explanation for this.~
He turned to the laughing form on the at his feet and asked in a loud voice, "So, all I need to do is love Toshiya and get Toshiya to love me again?" The laughter immediately stopped, its echo filling the empty library. He looked up at the intruder with tear filled eyes and slowly nodded, whispering "If you can help him remember his love for you and make him realize that your love is true. And I didn't mean that to rhyme." He smiled weakly. "Don't let yourself get lost in a power trip. Keep your head on the ground and remain by his side. Only in that way will you find the happiness you seek." Shinya pointed to the door of the library and said, "I can shut down the security completed for five minutes. Get out as soon as I tell you to."
Kyo ran up to the door and leaned against it, ready to plow through and out whenever the AI gave the order. Shinya stood up and walked to a control panel. He pressed a couple of buttons and typed an overriding program as fast as he could, then yelled "NOW!" Kyo burst through the door with all his might and got running through the compound. He never looked back nor did the thought of turning ever come into his mind. He just kept running, thoughts focused on reaching his love. ~Let your heart guide you, as well as the eternal love of my darling. We both hope that you don't face the same fate as we. Break free from destiny, Toshiya, Kyo...~ The android collapsed once more onto the floor in a fit of laughter, knowing that for this he would surely be killed and released from the living hell he condemned himself to.
Kyo's legs felt as though he could fly. He swiftly ran through the main entrance of the Capitol, the ghastly laughter of the forsaken android still fresh in his memory. His only hope was that he could live with Toshiya, happily ever after...
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Toshiya sat in the kitchen, slicing a salmon into fresh sushi. Kaoru was in the living room playing some sort of video game or other, possibly a game having to do with Gundam. As he hacked away carefully, his thoughts began to run off on their own again, revealing something more to him, another persona who he forgot so long ago. Or perhaps didn't forget - that person died that day.
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Kaoru was the heir of a famous detective. He was famous for catching Von Landier, an international serial killer. Of course, thanks to his father's fortune, Kaoru lived a spoilt rich life. Toshiya was the son of a business man and a whore; Kyo was not much better. Both had lived a childhood together, stealing on the streets. While the sexy blue haired one would keep a rich man busy, the short and quick blonde would strip them of their valuables. It was a wonderful strategy; after all, it got them though ten years old stealing. They had been thieves since they were five.
Yet, they were caught once and only once and that was their last time. When the two were fifteen, the brat son of Niikura caught them. Instead of turning them in, he promised he would spare their lives. He understood their situation supposedly and took pity on them. Instead of locking them up or having them executed, Kaoru kept them as 'servants'. This went on for nearly a year when Kaoru decided to double-cross them...
"You're planning on turning Kyo in?!" Toshiya was furious. After all, Kyo was his partner! If one were to be given to the police, then so should the other. However, Kaoru obviously planned on keeping him. "I won't let you!" He struggled against the chains which bound his hands to the bed post. "Kyo is my-" Kaoru kissed him hard. His tongue slipped into Toshiya's mouth, but was promptly bit. Crying out and startled, he jumped backwards and met the thief in the eyes. Crimson drops from Kaoru's tongue slipped down Toshiya's lips and sleeked his chin. Kaoru was disgusted.
"I was planning on saving you bitch," he smiled evilly. "Now I see I'll just have to take things a step further." He held up a favor notice that a couple doctors owed to him. "I'll just kill you and make you love me. It's possible you know? Modern science works wonders!" Toshiya's eyes widened. "You'll regret ever opposing me! And you'll make your little friend suffer. Oh how he will suffer, and it will all be your fault!" Kaoru slammed the door in Toshiya's face, running out of the apartment despite his yells.
Once five minutes had elapsed and Toshiya was still alone, he began to hear voices in his mind: the taunting voices of the people who had caught him before. Of course, he paid no mention, trying to keep his mind focused on the matter at hand. Something terrible was about to happen to his love and it was his fault and there was nothing he could do about it. Finally, the sound of a spark caught his attention. He sat in anticipation for a while, until the smell of burning finally came to him. "Uso... he's burning down the compound?!"
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Toshiya shook his head. The knife he had been so carelessly holding was now biting into his perfect skin. Only a few drops of blood actually slipped through the open wound, his circuitry was not damaged. Circuitry? After all, a dead body could neither preserve itself nor function without blood flow and most certainly, a dead body could not provide its own pulse. The circuitry and other sorts of gimmicks which kept Toshiya alive were a critical portion of his survival; and he had almost cut them.
"Oh. Stupid me." Toshiya wasn't shocked that he did it; he had been careless before hand after all. His eyes traced the way to the phone hanging on the wall. This time, his hand closed around the receiver and picked it up.
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Kyo ran through the streets of Japan, his mind racing yet still focused on Toshiya. Unfamiliar faces flew past, simple faces in the crowd. He couldn't care for them right now. ~I know you're out there, Toshiya. I know he's controlling your life, even though you and I used to be so free together. I'll liberate you, my love. I'll restore your heart and bring to life your soul. Just watch, only I can do it!~
You were free then, before I came into your life. *Die.* You were free then, before I came into your life. *Totchi.* ~I'll release you from your cage, no matter what it takes...~
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"Ahh... Toshimasa-kun? Why are you calling right now? At this late hour?" The doctor didn't sound the least bit angry, nor did he sound surprised that the AI called. He probably expected him to call anyway. "I'm sorry Genzai-sensei(1)... I just had to call up."
"Is something the matter?" Genzai-sensei asked. He waited a long time, Toshiya kept quiet for a while, thinking. Should I? Finally, his decision was made. "No I'm sorry for bothering you. I just felt like calling suddenly." The doctor scratched the bottom of his chin, "Strange... you just felt like calling you say?"
"Yes, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Ja." And Toshiya replaced the phone on the wall. For some reason, he couldn't find it in himself to ask for a reprogramming... He knew he needed one badly, but he didn't feel like asking for it. This proves all the more that I should change programs... Toshiya sighed. "Is something wrong?" The blue-haired whipped across the cool air, nearly slapping Kaoru in the face. He caught the deep blue locks in his hand and sniffed the scent of Toshiya's blue berry shampoo - the one Kaoru had bought for him of course. "Did you just call the doctors again?"
"Yes..." Toshiya felt his hand taken into another hand, warmer than his own, and he was pulled close to the other. "For what reason?" ~I can't lie to Kaoru... I can't! But at the same time, I don't feel like telling him the truth... what do I do?~
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When Kyo arrived back at the apartment building, all that remained was a pile of singed rubble. Fallen walls, toasty carpeting, death. "Toshiya!!" He ran toward the site only to be stopped and held back by Kaoru. "Why you! Son of a bitch! What happened here? Where the hell is Toshiya!?" Kaoru looked into Kyo's eyes which told everything but he said it out loud anyway. "Toshiya was inside when it happened. The firemen went in and got him out, but he was already passed away due to smoke inhalation. I'm so sorry." The last statement was almost, no, it was sarcastic.
Kyo punched the slightly taller man. He was disgusted. He was angry. He ran away.
It occurred to Kyo now why it had been so important that Toshiya not get burnt. After all, could you animate a pile of ashes? No. Modern science still needed the preserved body if they wanted to re-animate the person.
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Toshiya lay back against the bed. It was warm feeling, but Toshiya sensed nothing of its temperature. His mind was racing for some reason as Kaoru began to undress him. Memories of a past life not too far away flooded his mind, clouded his thinking patterns. Surely Kaoru would get angry if Toshiya resisted, but this far into the game, the blue-haired ex-thief couldn't stop himself. "Why are you doing that?" Kaoru was slightly peeved when Toshiya refused to allow him to undress his love. His love which belonged to him, body and mind. There was no heart to own.
"I don't... I don't know..." was Toshiya's only answer. The answer to him was still a mystery and would remain so until the ceiling window shattered. Shards of glass rained on the two, Toshiya protected Kaoru from the assault. Kyo landed on the bed beside them, shaking the bed and angering Kaoru all the more.
"I thought you said you weren't coming back," he snarled at the blonde. "I decided to after all, I mean, Toshiya is mine." Before the AI's eyes, the two began punching and clawing, almost engaged into a cat fight only they were men. It didn't matter to them how they fought, whether it be fair or cheap, they only wanted to assure themselves that they would win. One would win. But then, it was a matter of who could win Toshiya's 'heart'.
"You don't really love him!" Kyo.
"How would you know so? I love him more than a worthless lowlife like yourself could ever!" Kaoru.
"You don't really love Toshiya! You were only using him from the very beginning for your own sick desires!" Kyo.
"Enough! I loved him so much that I tried to save him!" Kaoru. "Where were you when the fire took his life?"
"I was out on an errand thanks to you!" Kyo. "But that isn't the point!"
"Then what is the point, brat?" Kaoru.
"If you really loved Toshiya, then you wouldn't have brought him back to life!" Kyo.
"What are you talking about?" Kaoru. "Are you saying that if you had the chance to revive a loved one, you wouldn't? What kind of love for a person is that, fool?!?"
"If you really loved Toshiya and you knew he would suffer re-animation without a heart, you wouldn't have done it!" Kyo. "He deserved the rest! He doesn't deserve this sort of torturous punishment!"
"What do you know about love?" Kaoru.
"I know that my love for Toshiya is more true than yours ever was or ever will be!" Kyo.
"ENOUGH!" Toshiya.
Two pairs of eyes turned quickly, two bodies froze in mid-action, one heart sank, one heart flew. Both were stupefied by the sudden yell of a different voice, a scream which echoed through their ears and attacked their souls. "That's enough..." Toshiya sobbed and fell to his knees. "You two shouldn't be fighting over me... Kaoru... Kyo!" Tears slipped from his eyes. A single salty droplet hit the floor. Immediately, Kaoru started laughing. "What's this? You suddenly have feelings? Impossible Toshiya!"
"Totchi!" Kyo ran over to the broken blue-haired one and cradled him close. "Toshiya... don't cry... please don't cry..."
"It's too painful, watching you both fight each other... Please stop..." Toshiya choked on each word and shook with his sobs. Kyo nuzzled his neck and whispered softly, "It's okay now, sshh.. it's okay..." He never was the greatest at being sweet, but this time, Toshiya really needed the TLC. All the TLC he could get...
"Toshiya come here!" Kaoru demanded, commanded, or otherwise ordered his 'love'. "Get away from that thing!" The AI actually started to pull away from Kyo, but the blonde held him still. "Toshiya, tell me, what is your reason to be?" My reason to be... "The reason I'm here is because of love. Kaoru loved me... Kyo loved me... they needed me... ne?" Toshiya couldn't find the right words. He knew that it was truly Kaoru who re-animated him out of love, yet he knew that it was Kyo who really-
"Nonsense! Toshiya you belong to me! Come here right now!"
"Tell me Toshiya, who is it that you love? Kaoru? Or me? Who was it that you always loved?" Kyo was near crying.
"Kaoru loves me... Kyo loves me... I... I love... I love K-" the silver pendant hanging round Kyo's neck burst into a bright light. The silvery shine enveloped the three young men, encircling them in a warmth and a power so distinct, so unnatural, so calm and kind, so serene and loving, so accepting... The night was torn by the light, so bright that everything looked white. Not a corner was dark... this was the power of "God"...
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"I loved him..." Shinya was sitting before the doctors and police and government officials who had just discovered the atrocity he had done. "I loved him so much that I killed him... because he was too good for this world... he didn't deserve to rot away in it... HA hahahhaa....."
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Toshiya placed the white flowers down on the week old grave. The balmy air warmed him, filled his memory with sweet nothings and whispered to him tender goodbyes. He kissed the cold tombstone, feeling the cool rock against his now full lips. His eyes traveled to the figure standing beside him, his 'lover', his torture, his punishment. "I loved Kyo..." Toshiya finally whispered. Kaoru took his hand and together they walked out of the cemetery. "I loved Kyo and he loved me..." The rusty gate clanged behind them as they exited the home of the dead. "I loved Kyo and he loved me, but I didn't deserve his love..."
The cold grave sat next to the legend, the fairy tale, the true story which went wrong. Niimura Tooru's empty grave sat next to the empty grave of Ando Daisuke. "I loved Kyo and he loved me, but I didn't deserve his love because he was god and I was no angel..."
The empty graves, merely a place to remember. The bodies of Gods who could not die, their loves had set them free.
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(1) - Genzai-sensei: He's the doctor who visits the Kamiya Dojo a lot in Rurouni Kenshin. ^^;;
The End