Author: Kati
Band: Malice Mizer, Gackt Job and Gackt.
Context: This is a fic that I just thought up one day at lunch and started to write it on my friend’s laptop. So yeah. Um so this particular chapter doesn’t have any sort of "fun stuff" in it. In fact it’s very much rated G. The other chapters will probably get a little more intense as the plot line grows. This some shounen ai in this…and eventually there will probably be some yaoi.
Pairings: is a secret
Phantom Memories – Chapter 1
Slowly his eyes opened. Clear puddles of brown gazed about the blurry room. Around him machines beeped and whirred monitoring his vital signs. An IV tube stuck into his arm trailed up to a bag of clear liquid that dripped slowly, yet constantly, into the tube and then in turn into his body. He was so tired. Why was he so sleepy? As silent slumber over took him, he tried desperately to figure out where and who he was. Darkness over took him as he floated away.
***
He looked on through the window to the hospital room, watching Gackt fade into and then back out of conscience. Mana took a deep breath, slowly and quietly opened the door and stepped in. Taking a seat in the chair next to Gackt’s bed, Mana soothed out his long black pleated skirt. He pushed up the sleeves on his silky black dress shirt, and placed his hand on top of Gackt’s.
"Gackt-kun," he whispered. "Please…don’t leave me…don’t leave me like Kami did…wake up…be ok…please."
The figure in the bed said nothing back. He wasn’t even aware of the man sitting next to him telling him not to die. Mana laid his head down on the hospital bed and began to cry softly.
***
His eyes popped open. Sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped down the side of his face. The dream had been so real…so life like, but it didn’t tell him anything. He still didn’t know who he was, where he came from and what his purpose was. He had finally woken up from his three months slumber only to find that he didn’t know anything about who he was or where he came from. The doctors that tended to him had told him that he name was Camui Gackt. However that’s all that he could be told. In order to find out about himself and heal his amnesia, he had to find it all out on his own.
He sat there in bed, pondering what he was going to do when there was a knock on the door. In came a stout, plump doctor with a clipboard followed by a tall man, wearing black tight-fitting pants, a skin tight black t-shirt and a large black hat, covering his almost white blond hair. He took off his sunglasses and smiled at Gackt.
"Camui-san, I have signed your release papers stating that you may leave. This is a friend of yours who has come to take you back to your apartment and will help you to settle back into your life." The doctor smiled and placed a set of clothes, which were folded into a pile, onto the bed. "You may get dressed and leave any time you wish." And with that said the doctor left the two men staring at each other.
"I’m glad that you’re awake Gacchan…" Mana said softly.
"I’m sorry but I don’t remember you…or your name…I don’t seem to remember much of anything actually." Gackt said looking away from the attractive man.
"Oh Gacchan…not anything!" Tears stung the edge of Mana’s eyes. "They told me that you had amnesia, but I thought that it wasn’t like this…I thought that maybe you would remember something…" He controlled his tears enough to keep them from falling, but that didn’t stop the pain. I had hoped that you would have at least remembered me…
"I’m sorry, but I don’t," Gackt said curtly, not meaning to be rude, but frustrated about not being able to remember anything.
Mana blinked at the slight sting of Gackt’s cold voice. He mumbled an apology and stepped outside the room to wait for Gackt to get dressed. Mana leaned against he wall not believing what was happening…it all started when Gackt had announced to the members of Malice Mizer that he was leaving the band.
***
"Let’s try it again from the top…maybe the fourth time through we’ll actually get it right," Yu~ki stated, in an annoyed tone.
"Yes let’s see how many times we can screw up a song that we all know by heart," Kozi snapped.
"Maybe we should just take a five minute break and calm down before we go and start back up," Mana’s soft voice seemed to calm the tenseness in the air. He glanced over to where Gackt was putting the microphone back in its resting place on the stand. Kami looked up and knew what the tall black headed vocalist was going to say before he said it.
"I’m leaving."
Kami turned his glance down at his drum set. He and Gackt had discussed it last night at his penthouse apartment. Gackt was feeling held back. He wanted freedom. He wanted to see if he could make it on his own.
"You’re what…" Mana’s voice broke the silence. He stared at his friend/band mate.
"I’m leaving," Gackt stated again. "This will be my last record with you guys. I know this is short notice, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now.
"And you decide now of all times to tell us?" Anger crept into Kozi’s voice. "Great! Just great! And where do you think we’ll find another vocalist with talent like yours? Hunh? You think that they just grow on trees? Hey Yu~ki, why don’t you go out and grab us one off of the large tree out in front of the studio!"
"Kozi, just chill out. If Mr. I’m-to-good-for-them-now wants to leave then let him," Yu~ki shot an unusual glare in the direction of the black haired singer.
"I’m sorry…I just-" Gackt tried to start to explain himself, but before he could get any farther a soft voice, full of pain and anger stopped him.
"Just go…" Gackt looked over to Mana, whose eyes were filled with pain.
"Mana…" Gackt whispered.
"Just leave!" Mana shouted. He threw his guitar down on the floor, where the neck broke in half, and ran from the room. Gackt and Kami made eye contact. Kami nodded his head towards the door. Gackt looked down and walked out. At least they would have each other…
***
Mana sighed. He had loved that guitar so much, but he loved Gackt more. When Gackt had told them that he was leaving, he had been so heart broken. He feared losing the one he loved, and now the fear was a reality. Gackt, the Gackt that he knew at least, was gone and Mana couldn’t think of any possible way to bring him back.
"Well, I guess I’m ready," a deep voice broke Mana’s train of thought. He looked up and there stood Gackt.
"Alright…" he said quietly. "You’ll want these," Mana handed Gackt a pair of sun glasses. Gackt gave him a quizzical glace. "You’re a famous person; you probably shouldn’t be recognized by the public yet in the state that you are in."
Gackt nodded and put the glasses on. He followed the light haired guide through the hospital, to one of the many back entrances. Mana glanced through the door to make sure that they’re path was secure. With a swift motion, he grabbed Gackt’s wrist and pulled him close.
"Don’t talk, don’t smile, don’t wave, don’t answer any questions, don’t even breathe. Just follow my motions, and don’t make eye contact with anyone. Understand?" Mana whispered fiercely into Gackt’s ear. Gackt nodded and proceeded to let Mana drag him quickly outside.
Camera’s flashed. People screamed out his name. Questions came from every reporter’s mouth. Microphones and video cameras where pushed into the two young men’s faces. Gackt did what he was told and didn’t say a word. He just stared at the ground as Mana shoved him into the back of a limo. Once they were seated, Mana let out a sigh of relief.
"I hate reporters…" he muttered. "So did you…once upon a time."
"I did?" Gackt asked quietly.
"Yes, I remember one time…" Mana’s voice trailed off when he saw that Gackt wasn’t paying attention. He was staring out the window at the sites of Tokyo. He sighed. "Never mind…"
"I don’t understand." Gackt said. "Why can’t I remember anything…why can’t I remember who I am? Why can’t I remember you? I mean you and I had to be close, for you to care enough about me to come and get me and take me home…wherever home is…"
Mana looked at his confused love. Close? Were they close? Close enough for me to fall for you…Gacchan… "We were friends. It just seemed like something a friend would do."
"I suppose…" Gackt resumed his task of staring out the window.
***
They arrived at the apartment building twenty minutes later. Mana led Gackt up stairs to his penthouse and unlocked the door. They were met by the yapping of a small dog. Belle came at a run, tail wagging, to see if her master had come home yet. Mana bent down and petted the tiny dog.
"I’ve been taking care of her while you were in the hospital. This is Belle. She’s been waiting anxiously for you to come home." Mana said handing Belle to Gackt.
"I have a pet?" Gackt asked. Mana smiled and nodded as Gackt took the small creature from him. Belle knew that this was her beloved master and began to wash his face. Gackt found a familiar wave of pleasure wash over him as he let out a small chuckle. He remembered this…remembered that he liked it when she did this. He scratched behind her ears. "Hi Belle..."
The two of them went inside. Mana went on and on about where things were and how to do certain things and so on and so forth. However, Gackt didn’t really pay attention. He was more concerned with looking about his home, trying to see if there was something there. Something that would jog his forgotten memories.
"Well I guess I’ll just let you get settled in," Mana said, bringing Gackt back to focus.
"Ok," he nodded.
"If you need anything, I’m three floors down, in apartment 394. Oh, and my phone number is programmed into your phone so if you need me you can also call me." Gackt nodded and walked Mana to the door. "Try and get some rest, Gacchan…" he said as he walked out. Gackt closed the door behind him.
He walked through the large apartment, and into the kitchen. He noticed his answering machine’s light was blinking several times. Gackt pressed the play button.
Yo! You’ve reached Gackt. Leave a message. BEEP.
Yo, Gacchan! This is your band calling. Remember us? Ren, You, Masa, Chachamaru. Um yeah so um, call us! BEEP.
Gacchan! Where are you? This is Masa, call as soon as you get this. BEEP.
Hey Gackt, we heard that you were in the hospital, so we’ll cut you some slack, get better soon so that we can continue rehearsal for the next album. BEEP.
Konnichiwa, Camui-san. This is Youshida Hiroshi the executor of Kami-san’s estate. I’m calling in regards of the items that he left to you. Please call me back at 08-50-6732. BEEP.
Gackt listened with half an ear to the first few messages. He didn’t remember who these people where or what their phone numbers where. In fact her wasn’t really interested in finding out who they were. However the last one made Gackt’s heart skip a beat. His head began to spin. Kami. Why did that name haunt him? It was the name that had been in his dream earlier. The name that had caused a pain like none that he could ever remember feeling.
Clutching the edge of the counter, Gackt pressed the save button. Belle pawed at his foot. He looked down and smile.
"Let’s take a nap." He walked into his bedroom. The name still haunted his senses. It was like something wanted him to remember something…but he just couldn’t. He crawled under the sheets and snuggled down with the pillows and slowly fell into a dark, deep sleep.
***
Mana sighed, letting himself into his apartment. He shut the door and walked into the kitchen. Placing the tea kettle on a burner that he had just put on, Mana checked his answering machine. Nothing. With a sigh he went to his bedroom and changed into pink flannel pajama’s and put on a pair of bunny slippers. When the water was boiling, Mana made himself a mug of chamomile tea. Sitting down at his breakfast counter (counter thingy on the edge of a kitchen island. – Kati) he gazed at a picture of his band before Kami had died, before Gackt had left and before Mana had found out that he would never be good enough for Gackt…for Gackt would always be Kami’s.
End of Chapter One
Notes: Okies so tell me what you think? Email me and let me know if I should continue it! [email protected]
To be continued