TSUYOI DESU
[PART 5]
Dimness. And a faint source of light on his right. That was all Shinya could make out as he lethargically opened his eyes. He felt something slightly damp on his forehead - probably a towel - and a bitter taste in his dry mouth. A cool breeze of air gently stroked his face, the fresh scent of rain accompanying it. The drummer reckoned that there was an open window. From time to time, the room was illuminated by lightning, thunder still roared outside.
As his eyes had adjusted to the dimness, he realised that he was in his hotel room. Lying in his bed, shivering in spite of the bedsheets that were tugged up to his chin.
How did he come here? Last thing he remembered was that he had been sitting in the bus, talking to Kyo, feeling sick...recollection flashed inside his mind - he had vomited, hadn't he? Probably all over poor Kyo. But what had happened then? Had he possibly lost consciousness? And had the others had to carry him here?
Blood rushed to his face at the thought of that. Kuso, why hadn't he been able to remain strong 'til he had got to his room by himself? Why did his weakness have to take him over??? He felt embarrassed by thinking of how everybody had seen him in this state of feebleness. What would they think of him? Despite his fragile looks, he wasn't supposed to be weak and frail; he was supposed to be strong. And now, he was lying here, overpowered by some stupid sickness...
A sigh escaped his sore throat. He longed for something to drink. Carefully, he lifted his head and turned it slowly to the right to check if there was still some water on his bedside table - and gasped. In the warm soft light of the bedside lamp he recognised a familiar form - in the armchair sat a sleeping figure, knees drawn up to its chest, head resting on the knees, arms hugging the long slender legs, spiky red hair totally messed up, the nostrils of the strikingly beautiful, pointed nose slightly moving whenever a breath was taken, long eyelashes casting shadows on the pale cheeks.
Shinya let his eyes rest on Die's peaceful features for a moment. The drummer wondered what time it was and how long the guitarist had been sitting beside his bed already. He propped up on his elbows, cautiously, and sat up completely after the first dizziness had ceased. The towel fell off his forehead directly down into his lap.
Shinya pushed back the white linen, put the towel onto the bedside table, took the last sips of water that had remained in the bottle and clumsily got out of bed. A side-glance on his alarm clock told him, that it was almost midnight already. He shivered in the cool air and made his way past Die round the bed towards the window. Only then did he realise that he was wearing his pyjama trousers and one of the oversized shirts he usually wore for sleeping. They had carried him into his room *and* undressed him?
The still shaky drummer shuddered at that thought and silently closed the window, careful as not to wake his still soundly sleeping band mate. He remained there in front of the window for a while, letting his eyes hover over the sleeping city beneath, enjoying the beautiful sight.
After a few minutes, his feet grew cold and he felt goose bumps appearing on his forearms. As he turned away to go back to bed, he suddenly felt his stomach flip and stumbled rashly into the adjoining bathroom, bending over the sink and throwing up once more. His hands clutched onto the porcelain vigorously as his body got rid of the disturbing contents of his stomach, shaking in spasms.
Just as he couldn't hold on any longer and was about to fall hard on the pile floor, he felt two strong hands closing around his small waist, keeping him up. A quick look through his blurry eyes up to the mirror told him that Die just had prevented him from tumbling down.
As soon as the frail drummer had steadied himself, the guitarist poured some water into a glass and handed it to his band mate, who just had bent over the porcelain again - fortunately only to turn the tap and let some cold water run over his hot and smeared face.
After Shinya had cleaned himself up and regained a minimum of his strength, Die led him back to bed, making sure that the drummer was as comfortable as even possible. The guitarist studied the worn out features of his band mate, who had started to doze off again. Then he turned away and slipped out of the door. Their manager had called for a doctor not long ago and Die was almost sure that he had arrived by now.
* * * * *
Bright light beamed and hurt Shinya's eyes. He stirred and let his eyelashes flash open. Kaoru stood there, their manager by his side, Die leaning in the doorframe and an unfamiliar person bent right over him.
"Shinya". That was Kaoru. He had knelt down and spoke softly into the drummer's ear. "Shimizu-sensei here is a doctor, he will check on you and find out what's wrong, okay?".
Shinya gave a barely visible nod. He felt so embarrassed, so helpless. To his relief, their manager and his two band mates left the room, leaving him alone with Shimizu-sensei. The drummer took a closer look at the doctor, who was rummaging in his black bag, getting some things ready. The man seemed to be quite young, but some fine wrinkles in the corner of his eyes and the self-assuredness of his movements told Shinya, that the boyish looks were misleading.
Shimizu-sensei pulled the armchair closer to the bed and sat down, giving Shinya a warm, amiable smile. The sick drummer relaxed a bit and decided that he had to trust the doctor. He really needed to get well - soon...
* * * * *
About 20 minutes later, Shimizu-sensei straightened his back, sat back in the chair, wrote down a few notes and focussed his attention on Shinya again.
"As far as I can tell, you're suffering from a bad, acute gastritis. Nothing to worry about really, but gastric problems are always quite awful and troublesome."
The drummer nodded, sarcastically raising his eyebrows. He had already had the pleasure to experience the effects of those gastric problems.
"Best would be, if you could get some rest the next days, drink tea, take hot baths, things like that..."
"I'd love to do that, but as you may already have noticed, we're musicians, and we're having our last concert of this tour tomorrow...err...tonight. I don't want it to be cancelled, I don't want to cause any inconvenience...".
Shinya's voice broke off and he bit his lower lip.
The doctor stayed silent for a few seconds. He knew that his patient wouldn't be able to recover fully in this short amount of time, and this worried him. But he knew that there was no use in trying to convince the drummer to skip the show. He had dealt with musicians before and the young man in front of him seemed to be quite a stubborn exemplar of this species.
Shimizu-sensei stood up.
"I won't give you a lecture now about what is wise to do or not. All I can do is to leave you some medicaments, they should soothe the pain and lower the fever, the rest is up to you.
The drummer nodded again, conscience-stricken. He knew he was being stupid. If any of his band mates had intended to play in the state he was in right now, he would have called them nuts. But there was no other way. It was their tour final, it was sold out...
He sat up cautiously, giving the anxious doctor a reassuring smile and bowed politely.
"Arigatou gozaimasu, Shimizu-sensei. Don't worry, I'll be okay..."
The doctor blinked and smiled back.
"Take care, Terachi-san. Try to get some good rest, ne. Oyasumi nasai".
With that, he opened the door and left the room.
* * * * *
Left alone, Shinya lay down again. The doctor had forgot to turn off the achingly bright main light, but the drummer was too dizzy to get up and turn it off himself. He took a deep breath and tightly closed his eyes in despair. Why in the world did this have to happen to him? Why now?
Suddenly, his eyes began to brim with tears. He didn't have the strength to hold them back and broke out in sobs, his frail body curling up into a ball, shaking hard. He felt so utterly alone...so lost...Miyu...where was Miyu?
He continued crying desperately, soaking his pillow, until he felt somebody sitting down on the bed, gently touching his shoulder.
"Shinya...".
Kaoru.
Shinya sniffled and looked up, meeting Kaoru's concerned, sympathetic glance.
The bandleader bent down and started to stroke the drummer's back comfortingly. Shinya winced at first, reluctant to accept the uncommon, unexpected caress, but finally gave in, starting to enjoy the guitarist's radiating calmness.
After some minutes, which they had spent in silence, Kaoru spoke up quietly:
"Ne, Shinya, it's not so bad to let go once in a while...".
The drummer couldn't do anything but nod. He took the paper handkerchief Kaoru was offering him, dried his red, puffy eyes and blew his nose.
"Arigatou, Kaoru. I'm sorry...".
"What for, Shinya?".
"Anou...for being sick and everything...I feel so bad about that...I'm causing so much trouble...".
Kaoru shook his head, unbelieving, and looked his band mate straight in the eyes.
"Don't worry 'bout that. You're not causing *any* trouble at all. Everybody gets sick once in a while. And just because it's uncommon to see *you* sick, it doesn't mean you have to feel guilty or anything. Just relax, ne...".
The drummer sighed deeply and snuggled up on Kaoru's chest. No, it wasn't bad to let go and get rid of piled-up emotions - on the contrary, it was a relief. It was just so hard for him to open up and let the others see beneath his stoic surface.
A knock on the door announced Die who stepped into the room cautiously, a hot-water bottle under his right arm and carrying a tray loaded with a steaming jug and a tea mug. Kaoru got up and gallantly stepped aside to let Die put the tray and the hot-water bottle onto the bedside table.
"Camomile tea", stated the red head as he became aware of Shinya's questioning look, poured some of the yellowish liquid in the mug and handed it to the drummer, who wrinkled his nose first, but then gave his band mate a grateful smile and carefully began to sip on the tea. It didn't taste that good. He actually hated Camomile tea, but it was supposed to help him getting rid of his gastritis, so he finished the whole mug until he put it aside and lay down, letting Die place the hot-water bottle onto his flat tummy before sliding deep under the blankets, yawning. The warmth of the tea and the hot-water bottle soothingly spread in and on his stomach and he felt the reassuring and comforting presence of Die and Kaoru who seemed to have decided to watch over him the whole night or at least until he was asleep.
Just as he was about to drift off, he heard a faint barking from out on the corridor and only a few seconds later, Toshiya and Kyo stood in the doorway, the latter holding Miyu on his arms. The singer knelt down besides the bed and released the excited dog, who immediately started to lick her master's face, tickling him, making him giggle in spite of the nausea and the fever and the miserable state he was in.
After the excitement had ceased and Miyu was convinced that her Shinya was going to be alright, she curled up right besides the pillow and dozed off. The drummer gave his little dog a loving gaze and thanked his band mates with a warm smile before he finally drifted off into the arms of sleep...
� ~eurydike~, August 2002
To Be Continued (?)