Another part done...
I hope you still enjoy reading my fic as much as I enjoy writing it.
Some words to this part of the story: As I already stated before, I don't know anything about the relationships and the love life of the band members. So, I simply made up a name for Shinya's girlfriend...and because I like the name "Ruko", his (ex-)girlfriend's name has got to be Ruko in this fic...
TSUYOI DESU
[PART 3]
Shinya aimlessly picked at the rice in the bowl in front of him. Just looking at the food made him feel nauseous. He didn't know, why he had let himself being persuaded into eating something. He just couldn't down anything today, apart from liquids. But water and orange juice didn't provide enough energy to let him make it through that day, he was aware of that. So it was probably due to his own rationality that he had decided to take that bowl of rice and not only due to the well-meant advices of his band mates after all. After having forced down about five mouthfuls of the nutritious, white grains, he choked and hastily set down his chopsticks and took some sips of water.
That's when he felt somebody watching him, intently. His dark brown eyes shot up and caught Die's piercing glance. Shinya shuddered slightly and quickly looked away, embarrassed. He could hear the guitarist's words even before he said them aloud.
"Are we back on being finicky about food again, Shin-chan? I thought you got over that."
The drummer had expected a comment like that. But Die's voice was so cold, so unfeeling, that Shinya felt his heart twitch. Was Die so blind? Couldn't he see that the drummer was having a bad day? Did he even intend to hurt him?
The other band members had stopped talking and turned their attention to the ever-teasing guitarist and his victim. Just as Kaoru opened his mouth to say something, Shinya stood up, almost knocking his chair down, and left without saying a word.
"Why can't you just leave him alone for once?". Kaoru gave Die a deadly glare and shook his head.
"Hey, I wasn't serious!". Die stared back at the angry bandleader and raised his hands apologetically. "He knows I'm only kidding!".
"Does he?". Totchi sounded calm, but the others could tell from the malicious gleam in his eyes that he was infuriated. "I'll go and talk to him now and you better think of a good excuse for your misbehaviour in the meantime!". With that he rose and jogged past Shinya.
Die stared unbelieving at the exiting form of the bassist, then back at Kaoru.
"What's the big fuss? You guys usually never care that much when I'm teasing him!".
Kaoru sighed, so did Kyo, who had quietly observed the whole scene.
"Yeah, you're right, *usually* we don't give a shit. Shinya's actually old enough to stand up against you by himself. But didn't you have the feeling that he's a bit...well...under the weather today?".
Die bit his lower lip, feeling remorseful. He had completely forgot about the incident with the Aspirin he had witnessed before...
* * * * *
Toshiya found Shinya down on the beach, sitting on a low, weather-beaten rock, the wind gently playing with his now bright orange hair, skinny arms wrapped around his slim waist.
The bassist didn't dare approaching the lone figure at first, merely watching it from afar, thinking about what to say. Nobody could ever be sure how Shinya felt; he was a walking enigma, so to say. The thought made Toshiya form a cheerless grin on his ravishingly beautiful face. He had known the quiet, reserved young man for about six years now, but still wasn't able to see through him.
He knew that he had two possibilities: either leaving his band mate where he was, ignoring the fact that he didn't seem all too well and probably cried for help silently, or trying to tear down the invisible but solid wall that Shinya had built around himself.
Making one step forward, Toshiya decided to do the latter, and slowly made his way through the sand, until he stood right beside his friend, looking out onto the sparkling water, remaining silent for a few minutes, allowing Shinya to get used to his presence. He didn't want to hurt or offend the drummer, so he took his time thinking about how he could put his thoughts in suitable words, sure that Shinya wouldn't be the first breaking the silence. He was all the more taken aback, as the fragile man cleared his throat and his deep voice spoke up.
"Today's just not my day. Gomen, ne, Totchi."
The voice sounded so empty and lost that Toshiya just couldn't resist bending down and taking his friend into a warm embrace, only to realise that this had been exactly the wrong thing to do. Shinya stiffened in his arms, moving uncomfortably, trying to free himself. The bassist quickly let go and stood aside, puzzled. If the drummer didn't even want comfort, how could he help him?
"Shinya, sorry, I didn't mean to come too close...it's just...I thought...you might want to talk..."
"About what?" The drummer snapped.
"How could I know?!". Toshiya started getting annoyed. Even if Shinya didn't feel well, he had no right to scold him off like that. "About Die, about touring, about Ruko...". The bassist cursed himself - shit!
"Ruko? What about Ruko?". The drummer's voice sounded dangerously calm all of a sudden.
"Well...y'know...I accidentally overheard your...erm...discussion as you last met...". Toshiya felt himself pale under Shinya's piercing glare.
"That's none of your fucking business!". The younger man stood up, grounding his teeth.
"As soon as this is affecting our work, it *is* my business. Shinya, listen, I really think you need to talk to somebody, just to get rid of all that's welled up inside. It's not healthy to let all that gnaw at you. Why won't you let anybody in? Why won't you trust at least one of us?".
The drummer didn't look at his older band mate. He only kept staring out onto the water, his eyes gleaming stubbornly. Why was Totchi bringing this all up? Why now? He needed neither help nor comfort. He could deal with everything himself, like he always did. He was strong...
As he spoke up again, he had calmed down. Arguing only made his headache grow worse, and he needed to keep a level head for the photoshoot that was due to start in half an hour.
"Don't worry, Totchi, I'll be alright. I guess we should go and finish dressing up now...we're already off-schedule anyways".
With that, the frail drummer started walking back towards the fabric hall, leaving the completely distressed bassist behind.
Toshiya slowly shook his head. This just couldn't go on like this. Nobody was strong enough to bear everything alone, not even their oh-so-strong drummer. He only hoped that things would run smoothly until they had finished their tour final...
* * * * *
Shinya winced slightly as he felt the laces of the corset tighten around his waist. How could he have been so stupid and agree on wearing something so uncomfortable as a corset for this photoshoot? He cursed himself over and over again. Wearing a corset wasn't the most pleasant matter anyways...and today it was probably the worst thing that could have happened to him.
He tried to breathe as flat as possible as he walked down the hallway. Bright lights were blinding him as he entered the hall and he felt himself being dragged off by one of the photographer's assistants, only to find himself amongst his band mates on a platform in one of the far corners of the hall.
Die gave him a cold glare and turned his back on him, palpably annoyed by the drummer's presence. This time, Shinya couldn't resent the guitarist's behaviour. He had been the one rejecting Die's attempt to give an excuse as he had come back into the hall after his argument with Totchi down on the beach, simply walking past the remorseful red-head as he had tried to approach him to say sorry for the incident during lunch. Now, the tension between the band members was almost unbearable - it hung in the air like a poisonous cloud.
Shinya felt his stomach twist again as he stood there, waiting for the directions of the photographer. It was going to be a long afternoon...
� ~eurydike~, August 2002
To Be Continued
To the next part