"It's a guy thing."
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means..."Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure", or "Yes, Dear"
Really means...absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works."
"We're going to be late."
Really means..."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break honey, you're working too hard."
Really means..."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting honey."
Really means..."Are you still talking."
"It's a really good movie."
Really means..."It's got guns, knives, explosions, fast cars, and beautiful women."
"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means..."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the very first girl I've ever kissed, and the VIN of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and got your these roses."
Really means...maybe later today when I say or do something stupid, you won't get mad at me."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself."
Really means..."I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
OR..."I want to be babied more than the pets and/or kids, for the rest of the week."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means..."And I sure hope I think of some real soon."
"I can't find it."
Really means..."It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?"
Really means..."What did you catch me at?"
"That's woman's work."
Really means..."It's difficult, dirty and thankless..and I just can't see myself doing it."
"I heard you."
Really means..."I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desparately that I can fake it well enough, so that you won't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means..."I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific!"
Really means..."Oh man, please don't try on another outfit. I'm starving."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means..."No one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."
Really means..."I make the messes, she cleans it up."
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