Claim you were a Christmas tree in a former life. If he/she tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash around on the floor.
Go to the mall with someone and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
Wear a Santa suit at all times. Deny you're wearing it.
Sit in a corner in the fetal position chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town...."
Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Complain about how you never get to join in any reindeer games.
Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (i.e. "You know, I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe last night.")
Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.
Build a snowman with a family member and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically "it didn't work!"
Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas future, please have mercy on my soul!"
Tell your spouse you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.
Pin a poinsetta to your lapel.
Run around your house ringing a bell maniacally saying, "every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings."
Watch your spouse while their sleeping. When they wake up, sing, "he sees you when you're sleeping"
Come up with a nativity scene that you did not originally have. When your spouse asks you about it, tell them, "I had to let them stay here. There was no room at the inn."
When your spouse leaves the room, rearrange their personal possessions. Tell them that Santa's elves must have done it.
Back
Funnies Page
