You've ever offered someone a ridiculous amount of money for the damage because if the insurance company finds out you've had one more accident....
Your friends would rather walk in 110 degree weather, barefoot and on asphalt, then to accept a ride from you.
You leave a party stone sober, and your friends still insist on hiding your keys and calling a cab.
People ask you about the "accident" and you reply, "which one?"
You see a sign that says "Lane ends 500 ft", and you manage to drive in the lane for another half mile.
You've ever applied make-up or shaved while on the freeway.
You slow down on green lights, and speed up on the yellow.
You hit a tree and your friend tells you that you're getting rusty because you missed the center of the car by an inch.
You take your eyes of the road and hands off the wheel to help your passenger put on their seat belt, while driving 65 MPH down the freeway.
You use your knees to steer.
The local police department knows your plate number by heart. And they carry a separate ticket book with your info already filled out.
You think stop lights and stop signs are merely suggestions.
You've had to replace your airbag more often than your oil.
You think none of the speed limit signs apply to you.
You get pulled over for drunken driving, but your are stone cold sober.
Everyone at traffic court shouts out your name when you walk in.
Curb? What curb?
You've ever hit the car in front of you while trying to back up.
You stop on the on-ramp to wait until there is enough room.
You swerve to miss a tree...and realize it's your air freshener...again.
Only your knuckles show when you drive.
Your blinker is always blinking in the direction opposite to the one you're turning.
You drive 90 MPH in bumper to bumper traffic and always pass on the right.
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