Health nuts are going to feel silly someday. Lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in their car these days, no one talks about UFO's like they used to?
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far, and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it that a careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Doctor's can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."
Let's put Blockbuster Video on Immigration. They're all over you after two days of being late. An expired VISA would never make it.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?
Why do toasters have that setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
If a man is talking in the forest and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
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