Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1999 14:57:13 -0500
From: xxx
To: James Holliday
Subject: Urban Legends
The New Urban Legends?
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got
out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and
and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"
But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy
his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to save us from armageddon when the year
2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in
which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman
Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I
read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who
was also promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I
would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed
with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that
said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually,
where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last
wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the
American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every
e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a
bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and
forward it to twenty people you will have good luck but ten people
you will only have ok luck and if you send it to less than ten people
you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on.
To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as
part of a gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
