Date: Sat, 5 Apr 1997 21:52:59 -0600 (CST)
From: xxx
To: James Holliday
Subject: Tax Time
It's Tax Time! There are several ways to torment your IRS people, without
getting a penalty, this was written by an ex-IRS dude in the
mailroom...Enjoy!
During my short employment tour with the IRS in the mail room, I've found
several harmless ways to mess with them and receive no recourse:
Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down them
whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes
have to take out any staples in the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way.
Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your
staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).
Line the bottom of your envelope with elmer's glue and let it dry before
you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and
the extractor has to open it by hand.
If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party
check. On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars
you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an
amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read and
stamped regardless of what it is or what its on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the
back of a Kroger sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ
form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular
business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take
priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess =)
If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to
your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the
like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and
then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the
man. These methods are only recommended when you owe money.
