Date: Mon, 24 May 1999 01:00:33 -0400
From: xxx
To: James Holliday
Subject: Pumpkin love


  
The Best Comeback Line Ever

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of  White
Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be  charged with
lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency,and public  intoxication at the
County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing
a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop.  "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy
inside, and there was no one  around here for miles.  At least I thought there 
wasn't" he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Davidson
went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a
pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a  hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".  "I guess I was  just  really into it,
you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson
apparently failed to notice the White Plains  police  car approaching and was
unaware of his audience until officer Brenda  Taylor  approached him. "It was an
unusual situation, that's for sure" said  officer  Taylor. "I walked up to
(Davidson) and he's...just working away at this  pumpkin."  Taylor went on to 
describe what happened when she approached Davidson.  "I  just went up and said,
'Excuse me sir, but do you realize  that  you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got
real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in  the face and
said, 'A pumpkin!? Damn...is it midnight already?'"

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