THE SAGA OF MANAGEMENT REVIEW OF WRITING STYLE

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QUESTION:       How many feet do mice have?

Original reply: Mice have four feet.

Management comment: Elaborate!

Revision 1:    Mice have five appendages, and four of them are feet.

Comment:       No discussion of fifth appendage!

Revision 2:    Mice have five appendages; four of them are feet and one is a tail.

Comment:       What?  Feet with no legs?

Revision 3:    Mice have four legs, four feet and one tail per unit-mouse.

Comment:       Confusing -- is that a total of 9 appendages?

Revision 4:    Mice have four leg-foot assemblies and one tail assembly per body.

Comment:       Does not fully discuss the issue!

Revision 5:    Each mouse comes equipped with four legs and a tail. Each leg is equipped with a foot at the end opposite the body; the tail is not equipped with a foot.

Comment:       Descriptive?  Yes.  Forceful?  NO!

Revision 6:    Allotment appendages for mice will be: Four leg-foot assemblies, one tail.

Deviation from this policy is not permitted as it would constitute misapportionment of scarce appendage assets.

Comment:       Too authoritative; stifles creativity!

Revision 7:    Mice have four feet; each foot is attached to a small leg joined integrally with the overall mouse structural sub-system.  Also attached to the mouse sub-system is a thin tail, non-functional and ornamental in nature.

Comment:       Too verbose/scientific. Answer the question!

FINAL REVISION

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