COMPANY BLUES

·           You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

·           Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

·           Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.

·           You get really excited about a two percent pay rise.

·           You learn about your lay-off on the 9 o'clock news.

·           Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

·           Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

·           The board members' salaries are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

·           It's dark when you go to and from work.

·           Communication is something your group is having problems with.

·           You see a good-looking person and you know it's a visitor

·           Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

·           Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in hospital.

·           You're already late on the assignment you just got.

·           Your boss' favourite lines are 'when you get a few minutes', 'in your spare time', 'when you're freed up' and 'I have an opportunity for you'.

·           Holidays are something you roll over to next year or a cheque you get every January.

·           Your family describe your job as 'works with computers'.

·           The only reason you recognise your kids is because you have their pictures on your desk.

·           You read this entire list and understood it.