Practical word problems

 Scene: There is a dead man in a garage surrounded by 51 bicycles and an over turned table.  What happened?

Answer: The bicycles were playing cards and a fight ensued after cheating was discovered.

Scene: A man is found dead in a locked room in a puddle of water.

Answer: The poor guy died of starvation; the room was locked, right?  The water?  Oh, the roof leaked.

Scene: A man gets out of bed, and kills himself.

Answer: The man was a midget for the circus, and had just gotten fed up with his bleak and demeaning lifestyle.

Scene: There is a dead man in a cage surrounded by 51 cats, an overturned table, and an empty gun.  What happened?

Answer: A depressed midget switched blanks for the live ammo in the lion tamer’s gun.

Scene: A man goes into a restaurant and orders some albatross.  After some delay, the food arrives.  He takes a taste, and then kills himself.  Why?

Answer: Obviously a whacko.  I mean, who orders albatross in a restaurant?  I say “good riddance to bad garbage.”