Short and sweets

There is no door.  There is no ceiling.

There is no floor.

And your meditation instructor

has just had a heart attack.

What do you be?

            If you refuse to fly due to fear over the probability that there will be a bomb on your plane, rethink your tactics...take a bomb with you.  The probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low.

            Knock knock

            Who’s there?

            Death.

            Death wh…

“Sorry to have bothered me...”

            A recent posting by Duke McMullan requested ways to repel telephone solicitors.  My friend Pepe Tres from Texas told me this one and gave permission to post it:

            “My time is billed at $125 per hour.  To continue this conversation, I must have your MasterCard or Visa number, card type and date of expiration.”

            Pepe says it usually leaves them speechless.

            One guy replied, “Hey, that’s good; I’ll have to remember it.”

            Once a supervisor of telephone solicitors called back and asked him if he was “some kind of high-powered lawyer.”

            Everybody gets and dials wrong numbers. It’s good to be nice about it. What goes around comes around, right? so, I try to reassure the apologetic and embarrassed wrong dialers that will actually converse once the error is discovered, with it going something like this:

Caller with wrong number: “Gee, I’m sorry...”

Me: “That’s OK, I was going to pick up the phone anyway.”

            A beat shizophrenic said, “Me?”

            “I am not I, I’m a tree!”

            But another, more sane,

            Shouted, “I’m a great Dane!”

            And covered his pants leg with pee.