Ever wonder what the resume for God would look like? In this day and age, everyone's having to look for a job. This is an idea of what God's resume would look like if he were to apply at a computer firm.

RESUME FOR GOD

 God, creator and sustainer of all life, has an eternity of experience in every aspect of everything, including systems design and integration and local area networking.

SPECIFIC EXPERIENCE AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS

God was solely responsible for the development of every standard, protocol, method, language and type of microprocessor in existence.God has absolute and complete knowledge of every detail of anything even remotely connected to computers and data processing, as well as everything else. God practices structured programming, and uses "go tos" only in reference to Hell. God has extensive supervisory and leadership experience, and has led teams of over one billion persons in such major projects as the establishment of civilization and the development of organized religion.

 OTHER EXPERIENCE

 God's experience extends from beyond the beginning of time. During this period God separated the light from the darkness, created the earth, planets and stars, established the firmament and the waters of the oceans, and created all the green plants and living things. Later, God created human life, which many consider to be one of God's most significant accomplishments.

 TECHNICAL BACKGROUND

 God is thoroughly familiar with every type of computer, every operating system, every programming language, every communications system, and every application that has been or will be developed, including Microsoft Windows.

 EDUCATION

 God holds an honorary Doctorate in Comparative Religions from Oral Roberts University, as well as current teaching certificates for IBM's Programmer Productivity seminars.

SALARY REQUIREMENTS

Seeking 10 - 15% increase.