MAI NLINING ON ONE-LINERS »>

 

·   Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

·   Well, aren't we just a ray of f***ing sunshine?

·   Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

·   Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

·   A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth?

·   Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

·   This isn't an office; it's hell with fluorescent lighting.

·   I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

·   I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.

·    Therapy is expensive; popping bubble-wrap is cheap. You choose.

·    I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

·    If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

·    Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

·    Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

·    And your crybaby, whiny-arsed opinion would be...?

·    See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

·    Allow me to introduce myselves.

·    Sarcasm is lust one more service we offer

·    Better living through denial.

·    Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.