LEARNED  FRIEND

 

ü                    I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

ü                    I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just arseholes,

ü                    I've learned that It takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion

-                     not proof - to destroy it.

ü                    After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.

ü                    I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fed up than you think.

ü                    I've learned you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.

ü                    I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

ü                    I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

ü                    I've learned that either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication.

ü                    I've learned that money is a great substitute for character.

ü                    I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean you can't take advantage of them when they're p&ssed out and naked in your bed.

ü                    I've learned that maturity is a magazine for old farts.

ü                    I've learned that no matter how good a chick is she'll only contribute to your alcoholism.

ü                    I've learned that no matter how badly your heart is broken, therapy is still expensive.

ü                    I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't have secret plans to move out.

ü                    I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

ü                    I've learned that two people can screw the exact same person and compare notes.

ü                    I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.

ü                    I've learned to say, Fuck them if they can't take a joke' in six languages.