A MOTTO  A  DAY

ü        Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

ü        A day without sunshine is like night.

ü        On the other hand, you have different fingers.

ü        I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

ü        42.7 percent of all statistics are made on the spot.

ü        99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

ü        I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

ü        You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

ü        Honk if you love peace and quiet.

ü        Remember half the people you know are below average.

ü        Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

ü        Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

ü        He who laughs last thinks slowest.

ü        Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

ü        Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

ü        The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

ü        I drive way too fast to worry about cbolesterol.

ü        I intend to live forever-so far so good.

ü        Quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff are made of.

ü        If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

ü        Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

ü        The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

ü        When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

ü        If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

ü        A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

ü        Experience is something you don't get until lust after you needit.

ü        For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

ü        Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

ü        Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

ü        No one is listening until you make a mistake.

ü        Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

ü        The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

ü        The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

ü        The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reachit.

ü        To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

ü        To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

ü        Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.

ü        You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

ü        Two wrongs are only the beginning.

ü        The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

ü        The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

ü        A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

ü        Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

ü        Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade.

ü        Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow

ü        Always try to be modest and be proud of it.

ü        Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener

ü        If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.