Greatest hits

Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and have had to summarize correctly what happened in a few words or less on insurance or accident forms.  The following quotes were taken from those forms and were eventually published in the Toronto Sun newspaper.

1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it’s intentions.

3. I though my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.

4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

7. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home, as I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.

11. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

12. I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble, when my universal joints gave way, causing me to have an accident.

13. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared to stop in time to avoid the accent.

14. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

16. An Invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

18. I was sure the old fellow would not make it to the other side of the street when I struck him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.

20. I saw the slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

21. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

22. The telephone pole was approaching fast, I attempted to swerve out of it’s way, when it struck the front of my car.